ontherightpath

My life is full of so many day ones. In the mornings I pray and in the nights I pick up and have some drinks. Not to get drunk, just to "feel like a normie" to be defiant.
I'm so sick of it, yet I am scared to tell my husband I want to go back to aa. Everything that is attached to me saying the words to him, makes me shudder. All based on what I THINK he will say. Like I am looking for his approval.....
I can't stay sober without it. I have been "out" for a couple of months, and I am ready to get back in.
Bottom line- I'm sick and tired of the ridiculous maintenance that comes along with an alcoholic TRYING to live normal. I don't NEED to blend in, I don't NEED others approval. I NEED sobriety. I NEED serenity. I NEED to follow through.

Dee74

Normies don't need to drink, so drinking to feel like a normal is a fatal error of logic

It's not easy getting sober and staying that way - it will be uncomfortable, and that something most of us spent years drinking to avoid....

but try and think long term rather than the immediate - a little short term discomfort could lead to marvellous life changing things.

I guarantee it

D

ontherightpath

I surrender. Completely. I am powerless over alcohol. My life has become unmanageable.

instant

Normal is overrated. A life of sobriety is worth striving for

doggonecarl

Be defiant in your recovery. Do what you have to do.

Thepatman

There comes a time when we must draw a line in the sand and not budge.

Time to bring some healthy stubbornness into your recovery. Going back to AA is a wonderful idea.

Nonsensical

Sound like you've made a plan. Work your plan.

Rence

I've relapsed MANY times and it always gets worse ! Get back to AA. No matter what your husband says, you MUST take care of yourself first and foremost. When you make yourself sober and happier, everything else with naturally fall into place and improve.

ontherightpath

Thank u for the replies and support. Day 1! Let's do this!

Stoogy

I know how hard it is, I'm just getting back to sobriety too, I was sober for 9 months up until the fateful error of starting a job which made me miserable, and I used that as an excuse to "cut free" in the evening, doesn't make it right and I am really mad at myself for flushing away that invaluable sober time but learn from this and use it as a positive influence moving forward.

Wishing you extremely well.

Anna

If you're concerned about what your husband will say, just go back to AA. There's no need to tell him if you think his response will be hurtful.

PurpleKnight

Go at it again!! Tweak your plan and you'll get there!!