Chilledice

Why did you quit drinking? And also can you please list the benefits you found with sobriety? I need some motivation here as im only on day 2. Thanks guys

DisplacedGRITS

i quit drinking because i realized that it was either get sober or die. i'm not saying that i was suicidal but every time i drank, i understood that i was killing myself. when i quit, i was drinking hard. i was a 24 hour drunk. it was rare for me to have a drink in my hand that wasn't laced with vodka. i wondered where i was going to be in 5 years and i realized that i couldn't even fathom a guess. i wasn't even sure that i'd be alive. okay, how about just in a year. again...alive or dead? who knows? 6 months? 1 month? i guess i'd still be drunk in bed with full and empty vodka bottles hidden around the house like a squirrel hides nuts. probably still driving around trying to find dumpsters in church parking lots in which to hide a garbage bag full of empty bottles. my future, what there was if there was to be one, was bleak. i realized then that i was better off dead but i just didn't feel like dying.

so i got sober for the first time. i've been in and out since then but i'm back to 4 months and i'm living an honest life, something i've never done before. sobriety has it's obvious benefits. i'm healthier, i'm menstruating normally (this is a pretty big deal to a 33 year old woman who still wants children), i'm less anxious, i'm not constantly hiding or seeking alcohol, no hangovers, no drunken behavior i have to apologize for, no lying to my husband, no longer terrifying my husband and mom, i'm able to hold down a job and actually enjoy it, no more worrying if the cashier at the store suspects me of being an alcoholic....just a lot less work!

the greatest benefit of my sobriety is that it's taken so much worry and work out of my life that i get to concentrate those energies on different things. i'm more contemplative now. well, i'm more usefully contemplative i should say. when i get quiet and i think, my thoughts are so much more meaningful. i get to rummage around in my head and just enjoy being me again. i'm redefining myself. i'm learning who i am, what i like and what's important to me. i'm exploring spirituality again. i'm swimming in thoughts and emotions instead of drowning in them. sobriety has freed me to pursue a life that is infinitely more meaningful and useful than the one i was living. i'm free to be of use to my fellow man and woman and especially to fellow alcoholics. i get the opportunity every day to be someone i can respect and love. i get to know serenity and i get to share it.

Dee74

I stopped drinking because I nearly died.
But fear, even fear of our own mortality, only goes so far.

I stayed sober because I liked the sober me...I liked solving problems, I liked dealing with hard things bad things and sad things sober....
I liked being happy and not needing to reward myself for that with a drink.

I liked being able to look at myself in the mirror again.

But I had to have faith that the initial early recovery period, hard as it was, was temporary.

It was rough but I kept the faith, used my support, and made it through

The really good stuff started a few months in.
Hang in there for that Chilledice

D

Nonsensical

I didn't drink. Never did. I got drunk. That's all I know.

I could continue to get drunk or I could keep everything else I wanted in my life.

In addition to keeping everything else I wanted I also received freedom from the obsession to drink. It was more amazing than I had dreamed. I didn't realize how much of my life revolved around alcohol until it didn't.

Most people don't need a reason to not drink. Addicts need a reason to not drink. That knowledge alone should be a sufficient reason to not drink.

You can do this.

chickippo

I came to the realisation, as displacedGRITS did, that i was effectively killing myself. my withdrawals had got so bad that the last one nearly killed me.

if i pick up a drink, one of three things will happen. i will have an accident whilst drunk and die, i will die from the alcohol itself or the withdrawal, or, and most likely, i will kill myself.

i am 41 years old and my drinking has been an issue from my early teens. the best thing i can tell you is that the truth will set you free. i don't have any secrets, i don't tell lies - and my life is amazing now. sobriety rocks.

Foolsgold186

I stopped drinking because I was sick of hating myself. Sick of thinking about drink, how to get it and the fear I felt when there was none left. I was tired of being paranoid, ill, feeling disgusting and useless. I stopped drinking because my mum was crying for me, sisters were devestated that there once vibrant happy sister was a shell of a person she once was. I stopped drinking because I know I'll die if I dont.

Now I feel proud. Still early days but I know I'll never let drink take me there again.

One day at a time.

L x

Sasha4

Because it dominated my life and not in a good way.

I was never any good at drinking.
I was all or nothing.
I usually drank and would blackout.
I went to bed drunk every night and woke up hungover everyday.
I thought it was sad I needed to close everyday with a big pointless drink!!!
I spend most of my hours worrying about drinking, deciding to stop drinking, deciding to buy a small bottle on my way home from work that then turned into a large bottle and the cycle went on and on and on.

Added to this I constantly ran over previous drunken episodes in my mind as if to punish myself. Some of these happened at work and I am still ashamed. Drinking when away with work was a big part of my job.

Ultimately it made me unhappy though.
I did the whole am I/am I not an alcoholic thing and kept drinking all the time.
I did the whole 'I can't have a problem I have done 2 days without a drink' or 'I don't drink in the mornings and I'm not homeless, so maybe I am over reacting'.

In the end the key for me was that the definition, the label to describe my drinking, the amount, whatever, none of it mattered. It was the fact drinking made me hate myself and made me really unhappy. That was enough for me.

To list some positives.........

1. I find it peaceful knowing that as long as I don't pick up that 1st drink, I will never wake up wondering what on earth did I do or say again. These incidents are in my past and are still hard to deal with but I am not creating anymore.

2. I have stopped constantly worrying about my liver packing up, what the pain in my side might be, if I need a transplant, if I would get a transplant, if my eyes look yellow, if my skin looks yellow, if I have acute pancreatitis or just an upset tummy and this could go on for ages.

3. I can drive knowing I am never over the limit even if it is next morning.

4. I don't lie anymore about why I look ill when in fact it is a hangover.

5. I don't have to do that endless rotating of shops when buying drink so no-one knows or guesses.

6. I don't have a podgy face anymore and my eyes are brighter and I don't have to work at loosing weight as much.

7. I come downstairs to a clean kitchen every morning and it is nice not be greeted by a kitchen that Oasis look like they have had a party in.

8. I go to the doctors with any health problem where as in the past I would not dare in case he asked about my drinking or smelt it on me or detected it in blood work.

9. I go out for meals for the food, not just to barely eat but neck a small fortune of booze.

10, My recycling bin is virtually empty. No guilty putting bottles in other neighbours bins to hide my consumption form the bin men.

11. I sleep so much better and it is nicer reading in bed or being on my laptop than passing out every night.

12. I take more care of my appearance.

13. I feel clearer in my thinking for about the first time in 3 years.

14. I used to think evenings and life in general would be dull without drink. Now I realise how dull it was sat getting drunk every night. I can drive where I want, do whatever I want. I'm not stuck in the house night after night drinking cheapo vodka.

15. I don't constantly punish myself and hate myself. I have a lot more empathy with people who are problem drinkers and I understand a lot better than I did. I think I am a calmer, more rational person.

16 I see now that alcohol is no reward. It is not a prize or a well done gesture for me. Whether I have the worst news, the worst day, the best day, having a drink is not the way I like to celebrate or want to celebrate.

17. I face problems head on now. For years I would rather pretend there was not a problem and drink any uneasy feelings away. This has just led to more and more problems. I knew my relationship was wrong, but it was easier to drink every night into a false state of happiness than deal with what needed to be done. I used to drink to 'put up' with people, make them more bearable. Now I just prefer to limit the time I spend with those people! I probably should have done that in the first place. It would have saved a lot of trouble!

18. Life is calmer without the all drama and upset that drink brings.

19. The longer I go without drinking, the less I miss it. I can honestly say, hand on heart, it would seem strange to me to drink the way I did every evening now. It would be even stranger to drink in the day. I am too busy. I can always find jobs to do or things to do that I would prefer to drinking.

20. Finally I feel proud of myself. Yes my life is quieter. I turn down invites that are only centered around booze. I am often the first to leave a party, but I am rewarded the next day as I no longer have that anxiety, that deep worry that verges on panic anymore.

I wish you the best xx

awholenewlife52

Great post, Sasha4, thank you.

Sasha4

Chilled ice, have you thought about what benefits you want, need or expect from not drinking. Or the things you don't expect to happen anymore, once you stop drinking? Maybe it would be a good idea to write a list of things you think won't happen anymore if you stop drinking?

I know mine would have been something like these.....

1. No more shame or hating myself.
2. No more blacking out.
3, no more worrying about what others think about me when I am drunk.
4. No more wondering what I said, what I did etc.

Why not make a list and with every day sober you do add to it or tick off if it has happened and record any other benefits or good things you did not expect to happen that were an added bonus.

It might help you more than you know and who knows, you could be writing your list for a newcomer that comes along in the next 6 months or a year who asks the same questions or needs the same motivation.

You could record it as a daily thread here too.

Meraviglioso

Awesome post Sasha4, thanks for taking the time to type all that out. I am going to print it!

anattaboy

because the 1.5 hr reward of alcohol was not worth the other 22.5 I had to give for it--oh yeah, and the death thing

IOAA2

Hi. Short version: I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Benefits: Short version: Being comfortable in my own skin most of the time. This resulted in taking actions on many things I wanted to do sitting in the recliner. The I’m gunnas. Travel, vacations to places most people only dream of, closeness to my children and good health things in general. I don’t want to forget the ability to so far handle the “bad” things that happen in ones life.

BE WELL

bigsombrero

This pretty much mirrors my experience and is also why I got sober. I was doing the same things as DG here. By the end, I had also lost my job and my long-time girlfriend. Then came the seizures. I pretty much needed to hit rock bottom to get sober. Some of us have to learn the hard way, and I'm one of them. A very "hands on" learner, I guess you could call me. LOL.

Getting sober with treatment was tough. It's the STAYING sober that was even harder. The problem with early sobriety is that you often don't see measurable benefits right away. For example: I was almost 1 year sober before I even got a real job again. There were a lot of lonely nights where I thought "what's the point?" and nearly went back to the bottle. But I rode out the hard times.

Now, I have a reason to stay sober. I have a nice home, a good job, and I'm living the life I've always wanted. It's taken me 2+ years to get here from rock bottom...not that long when you think about it. But there were plenty of days I thought I'd never get here. You gotta just tough it out, stay clean, and bear down.

aborkie

I quit for health reasons. I was a mess physically.


No. 1 benefit for me is sleep, as I was a very bad sleeper as a drunk.

firstymer

I quit drinking because I had been reduced to 3 states of mind: 1. Waiting until I could drink; 2. Being drunk and 3. Being hungover and horribly anxious and guilt-ridden. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It is no way to live.

Mountainmanbob

troubles with family, friends, neighbors, work and the courts

blackouts

jail and hospital visits

100 grand wasted the last time out there drinking (kind of a long story)

for me -- the list goes on and on

Mountainman

gardendiva

I could not drink without getting drunk. Blackouts, vomiting, passing out, dry heaves, driving drunk...

Benefits:
No longer risk killing people with my car
Better relationship with family
More open to new friendships/no longer isolate

Aellyce

I could also write a long post, but most of it has been already said above. Being a heavy drinker had become pretty much being dead alive for me, a slow and very effective process of destruction. I did not care so much about myself per se at that point, but one area that really disturbed me and I just could not view it anymore was how my drinking also affected a lot of others that were tied to me either professionally or personally. I know that this is apparently not much of a concern for many people at later stages of alcoholism, but for me it was somehow powerful enough. Also, I was lucky that in the past few years there were a few things in my life that I remained passionate and cared about and I held onto these so much mentally that I just could not let them go. I had a good life that I built for myself over the years following my heart...I was pretty certain that a bit more time on that destructive route and it's all past tense.

And this is what is so often recommended to everyone in recovery: besides working on maintaining sobriety, also work on creating a good and meaningful life for ourselves in which we find personal satisfaction. Addiction or not, the chances that we would want to destroy that kind of intrinsically rewarding existence will most likely decrease.

ccam1973

100 Grand Wasted... Mountainman, you might need to start your own thread for that one.

For me, I just wasn't living life any more while drinking. It took every minute of spare time for me to get the feeling I was craving and more time to keep that feeling until I either ran out of booze or passed out.

For some reason I realized we only get one chance at life. I have two wonderful kids and one day they will be grown and not want to spend as much time with "old dad". I fell into the footsteps of other family members with alcoholism; not using that as an excuse because I have made my own choices throughout life. I am just choosing to alter the "path" I travel down from that of others in my family.

My Grandfather died from alcoholism before I was born. Apparently he struggled constantly as he tried to provide for his family. The day he died; April 12, is my birth date. I constantly feel his presence and just want more for my family; I know that sounds silly...

I didn't want my addiction to steal any more time from me. Especially when I was bringing the thief to the party every day and night. I want to be able to cherish the remaining time I have with my family, not spending every minute calculating my next drink and unable to remember huge CHUNKS of my life.

On the surface, so simple really... Just stop drinking and life will improve. for something so simple, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But so worth every ounce of effort you put in. I'm 25 days sober today and ready for day 26, 27, 28...

Thanks for the thread Chilled. It helped me today remembering why this fight is SO important!

FeelingGreat

-I was afraid of the physical and mental damage. There's a clear link between cancer and alcohol, and I didn't want to be brain damaged in my old age.
-It was causing me to put on weight.
-I knew it was going to progress.
-I didn't have a picture of myself as an alcoholic who everyone pitied.
-I wanted my DIL to give up smoking, and I challenged myself to give up something I was addicted to. That was the final motivation, but came after a lot of thinking and worrying.