Ups and downs...the past 1 1/2 have been hell
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Ups and downs...the past 1 1/2 have been hell
So, I've posted on here a few times over the last 6 months, but my God I can't believe how many things have gone wrong the last 18 months. I know we all have our stories that got us to where we are in our lives, but I just wanted share mine so (excuse the rambling). Some drinking related others are life related that were just out of our control. Not looking for any awws whatsoever. Just need to vent!
So here goes... Laid off due to company going out of business...and believe it or not wife was let go from her job the same exact day as my lay off just before xmas. How fitting! They filed for bankruptcy so no severance or vacation pay. Moved to another state for new job 3 months later and had to take a huge pay cut. Moved to the wrong area of the new city since we had to do everything remotely. Broke the lease to move to a better part of town. One income same bills so drained 401K to keep our heads above water with all the new situations. New job was one of the worst working experiences I've had so I knew it wasn't going to last. Politics, office cliques etc you know how it goes. Get told I'm being terminated after a yr of bs. (Did me a favor with lowering the stress) at the moment. Next step file for unemployment. Denied! Ok wife is working and I'm drinking. Forgot to mention I had to go to detox in October for a hardocre binge. So while I'm being told I'm being terminated we just signed a new lease at a cheaper but bigger place. Nearly 2 months since losing my job of course I was drinking off and on. Rejection emails from the jobs I applied for. So finally I get a DUI that was completely unnecessary. Tapped the person in front of me in stop and go traffic. No damage to my car, small bump in his bumper. No injuries...paperwork exchanged etc. All good right? Nope...he has to call his dad(kid is 20). Dad shows up and said "wow I can't believe he called me down here for this". Anyhow, kid was to escalate it..calls the cops. They show up and the rest is history. So after 3 days in the detention center and looking for jobs prior to this. This only makes it harder. Don't you just love drinking and the situations you get into when you do? I know it's a choice to put a bottle/can to your lips, and man when it rains they weren't lying about it pouring!
Thanks for letting me vent
So here goes... Laid off due to company going out of business...and believe it or not wife was let go from her job the same exact day as my lay off just before xmas. How fitting! They filed for bankruptcy so no severance or vacation pay. Moved to another state for new job 3 months later and had to take a huge pay cut. Moved to the wrong area of the new city since we had to do everything remotely. Broke the lease to move to a better part of town. One income same bills so drained 401K to keep our heads above water with all the new situations. New job was one of the worst working experiences I've had so I knew it wasn't going to last. Politics, office cliques etc you know how it goes. Get told I'm being terminated after a yr of bs. (Did me a favor with lowering the stress) at the moment. Next step file for unemployment. Denied! Ok wife is working and I'm drinking. Forgot to mention I had to go to detox in October for a hardocre binge. So while I'm being told I'm being terminated we just signed a new lease at a cheaper but bigger place. Nearly 2 months since losing my job of course I was drinking off and on. Rejection emails from the jobs I applied for. So finally I get a DUI that was completely unnecessary. Tapped the person in front of me in stop and go traffic. No damage to my car, small bump in his bumper. No injuries...paperwork exchanged etc. All good right? Nope...he has to call his dad(kid is 20). Dad shows up and said "wow I can't believe he called me down here for this". Anyhow, kid was to escalate it..calls the cops. They show up and the rest is history. So after 3 days in the detention center and looking for jobs prior to this. This only makes it harder. Don't you just love drinking and the situations you get into when you do? I know it's a choice to put a bottle/can to your lips, and man when it rains they weren't lying about it pouring!
Thanks for letting me vent
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Trying to! I'm just waiting for something to go right. Things are tough for sure, but just difficult to be positive with some much crap going down. Forgot to mention house that we own in the state we moved from is in foreclosure, family member just died from colon cancer. Just an all out **** show. Wife and I both don't even know what to do or where to begin.
Crazy thing is when I was in the detention center for those few days, I sure did learn a lot from people, and when you think you have it bad just listening to some of the guys in there blows my mind! I just hate using other peoples horrible stories as a reason to make me feel I don't have it that bad. Stress is stress regardless of what you're going through. I want to be sober, but sometimes I feel like what is the point. Sh*t goes wrong regardless of what you try to do. In your control or not...it's true though. ( If it can happen, it will happen). Hate to be negative, but when it seems that is all you get you just kinda get used to not getting a break.
-shrugs- I really don't even know what to think anymore. So I'm just going with the flow, but who really knows anymore what to expect. Just tired of the BS. Wife is tired of my BS too, I'm 34 built up a lot, but the last 18 months I have nothing to show for it. I know we all have our struggles and issues in life, but sometimes I know we all sayf-it.
Crazy thing is when I was in the detention center for those few days, I sure did learn a lot from people, and when you think you have it bad just listening to some of the guys in there blows my mind! I just hate using other peoples horrible stories as a reason to make me feel I don't have it that bad. Stress is stress regardless of what you're going through. I want to be sober, but sometimes I feel like what is the point. Sh*t goes wrong regardless of what you try to do. In your control or not...it's true though. ( If it can happen, it will happen). Hate to be negative, but when it seems that is all you get you just kinda get used to not getting a break.
-shrugs- I really don't even know what to think anymore. So I'm just going with the flow, but who really knows anymore what to expect. Just tired of the BS. Wife is tired of my BS too, I'm 34 built up a lot, but the last 18 months I have nothing to show for it. I know we all have our struggles and issues in life, but sometimes I know we all sayf-it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Hope you can learn from this .
In the uk drink driving is really detested . People get killed and maimed every day because of selfish people that drink and drive , I also had a family member who was hurt by a drink driver. Tapping the car in front is not minor if you have been drinking , it's a hideous offence . Don't feel I am being hard because me myself drunk drove in my younger years and only by the grace of god I did not kill someone . No excuse for drinking and driving none whatsoever .
In the uk drink driving is really detested . People get killed and maimed every day because of selfish people that drink and drive , I also had a family member who was hurt by a drink driver. Tapping the car in front is not minor if you have been drinking , it's a hideous offence . Don't feel I am being hard because me myself drunk drove in my younger years and only by the grace of god I did not kill someone . No excuse for drinking and driving none whatsoever .
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I know Getright that things are not going well for you. That's life at it's best, the downs, the storm before the calm.
You said you learned from others experience in the prison. I think this is key. We sometimes have to look at others to realize we are not doing so bad. You still will have opportunities if you keep pushing forward and stop the drinking madness. If you were in another country you could be facing worst with no hope, poverty, war, mass genocide, natural disasters, decease without medical help. You get my vide.
You are also dealing with the universal law of attraction. Everything you think, the universe will respond accordingly. If it's negative, hopeless, events will keep coming your way until you change your very core and thought patterns. Count your blessings and fight the good fight. Visualize the positive results in your life, repeat to yourself positive statements, empowering statements. Lastly, google the secret and watch it or read the book.
It really works. Good luck, keep your chin up, and fight your way trough, I believe in you. But you have to believe in yourself as well ;-)
You said you learned from others experience in the prison. I think this is key. We sometimes have to look at others to realize we are not doing so bad. You still will have opportunities if you keep pushing forward and stop the drinking madness. If you were in another country you could be facing worst with no hope, poverty, war, mass genocide, natural disasters, decease without medical help. You get my vide.
You are also dealing with the universal law of attraction. Everything you think, the universe will respond accordingly. If it's negative, hopeless, events will keep coming your way until you change your very core and thought patterns. Count your blessings and fight the good fight. Visualize the positive results in your life, repeat to yourself positive statements, empowering statements. Lastly, google the secret and watch it or read the book.
It really works. Good luck, keep your chin up, and fight your way trough, I believe in you. But you have to believe in yourself as well ;-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 13
I know you weren't looking for sympathy but it's hard not to feel for you with such a stretch of bad fortune. As others have said I'm sure good things will be round the corner if you can find the strength to hold your head high and think more positively, and with clarity free from alcohol. That's one thing I'm noticing, can see and think much clearer when clean and it helps see a way forward.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Wishing you the best of luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
- DarkDays -
I'm well aware of the consequences of drinking and driving. I'd like to meet one person on here who hasn't done it before. The 100's of times we've all done it leaving a friends, party or any social event we're all at the risk from ourselves, and other drunk drivers on the road. I'm not condoning anything I've done or did. I know what I did and now I have to deal with it. I agree with you to about "the grace of God" that you didn't kill anyone. I'm glad I didn't/haven't kill anyone either. I've been a heavy drinker since I was about 22. Took a few breaks in between, but go back to old habits eventually. Regardless of whats happens from here good or bad, I know it's up to me to maintain being sober. Yes, I like to drink. I think all of us on here did at one point or another or else we wouldn't be here talking about all the BS it got us in. You're not being harsh, I just wasn't asking for a lecture about drunk driving. Don't need it and it doesn't help anything concerning what I'm talking about or my situation.
I'm well aware of the consequences of drinking and driving. I'd like to meet one person on here who hasn't done it before. The 100's of times we've all done it leaving a friends, party or any social event we're all at the risk from ourselves, and other drunk drivers on the road. I'm not condoning anything I've done or did. I know what I did and now I have to deal with it. I agree with you to about "the grace of God" that you didn't kill anyone. I'm glad I didn't/haven't kill anyone either. I've been a heavy drinker since I was about 22. Took a few breaks in between, but go back to old habits eventually. Regardless of whats happens from here good or bad, I know it's up to me to maintain being sober. Yes, I like to drink. I think all of us on here did at one point or another or else we wouldn't be here talking about all the BS it got us in. You're not being harsh, I just wasn't asking for a lecture about drunk driving. Don't need it and it doesn't help anything concerning what I'm talking about or my situation.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Olathe
Posts: 200
I know everyone condemns drunk drivers, but I personally am not as fire and brimstone against it. I feel that it's the driver that creates the problem. Many drivers, probably most, drink and they are very unsafe. Some drivers I feel can drive safely at a certain level of drunkenness (often above the legal limit). I feel I was one of those drivers, I know my father is, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt getright and assume you are too.
It's impossible to tell those drivers apart though so I am definitely in favor of DUI laws. Some day, hopefully in the not so distant future, cars will drive themselves and it will be a non-issue.
I'm sorry about your circumstances, getright. It just sounds like a lot of bad luck. I've also gone through really rough patches and in the end those are where I feel I've grown the most. Hang in there, things will get better, and stay away from the booze. Although my luck isn't always better I do find it is better more often without alcohol in the mix.
It's impossible to tell those drivers apart though so I am definitely in favor of DUI laws. Some day, hopefully in the not so distant future, cars will drive themselves and it will be a non-issue.
I'm sorry about your circumstances, getright. It just sounds like a lot of bad luck. I've also gone through really rough patches and in the end those are where I feel I've grown the most. Hang in there, things will get better, and stay away from the booze. Although my luck isn't always better I do find it is better more often without alcohol in the mix.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I have very strong feelings against drunk driving...and some strong reactions to statements in this thread...but this thread is not about me, or my reactions.
Let stick to supporting a new member, guys
Hi and welcome getright - the support and encouragement I found here really helped keep me sober and helped me sort out the mess that was my life. I hope you can do the same
D
Let stick to supporting a new member, guys
Hi and welcome getright - the support and encouragement I found here really helped keep me sober and helped me sort out the mess that was my life. I hope you can do the same
D
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 326
Originally Posted by getright15 
- DarkDays -
I'm well aware of the consequences of drinking and driving. I'd like to meet one person on here who hasn't done it before. The 100's of times we've all done it leaving a friends, party or any social event we're all at the risk from ourselves, and other drunk drivers on the road. I'm not condoning anything I've done or did. I know what I did and now I have to deal with it. I agree with you to about "the grace of God" that you didn't kill anyone. I'm glad I didn't/haven't kill anyone either. I've been a heavy drinker since I was about 22. Took a few breaks in between, but go back to old habits eventually. Regardless of whats happens from here good or bad, I know it's up to me to maintain being sober. Yes, I like to drink. I think all of us on here did at one point or another or else we wouldn't be here talking about all the BS it got us in. You're not being harsh, I just wasn't asking for a lecture about drunk driving. Don't need it and it doesn't help anything concerning what I'm talking about or my situation.
I'm well aware of the consequences of drinking and driving. I'd like to meet one person on here who hasn't done it before. The 100's of times we've all done it leaving a friends, party or any social event we're all at the risk from ourselves, and other drunk drivers on the road. I'm not condoning anything I've done or did. I know what I did and now I have to deal with it. I agree with you to about "the grace of God" that you didn't kill anyone. I'm glad I didn't/haven't kill anyone either. I've been a heavy drinker since I was about 22. Took a few breaks in between, but go back to old habits eventually. Regardless of whats happens from here good or bad, I know it's up to me to maintain being sober. Yes, I like to drink. I think all of us on here did at one point or another or else we wouldn't be here talking about all the BS it got us in. You're not being harsh, I just wasn't asking for a lecture about drunk driving. Don't need it and it doesn't help anything concerning what I'm talking about or my situation.
That's some bad luck you have there mate, all the best.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Vent away getitright, we've all had problems with alcohol in the past. Most of us have done things we regret too.
What's important today is what you plan to do so they don't happen again. How can we help?
What's important today is what you plan to do so they don't happen again. How can we help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Appreciate the support for sure guys. Like I said I doubt there is anyone on this forum who is in recovery has never ever driven buzzed-drunk-hammered in their entire lives before they chose to be sober. I've done some really regrettable things while drunk as we all have. Thus, the reason why I said I don't need a lesson on the issue of driving drunk. When we relapse we know the repercussions of it, but we do it anyways. Of course I feel bad about what happened. It was totally unnecessary on my part, but it happened. Can't change it now. I just gotta hire a lawyer and deal with it.
Also, getting behind the wheel of a car isn't the only way to kill someone else or yourself for that matter when drinking as I'm sure all of you know that. So, for those of you getting on me, or have strong feelings about what I've said about my DUI and how it happened that's fine. Not looking for sympathy whatsoever nor am I throwing a pity party for myself. Just simply stating how the last 18 months have gotten my family and I to this point.
Also, getting behind the wheel of a car isn't the only way to kill someone else or yourself for that matter when drinking as I'm sure all of you know that. So, for those of you getting on me, or have strong feelings about what I've said about my DUI and how it happened that's fine. Not looking for sympathy whatsoever nor am I throwing a pity party for myself. Just simply stating how the last 18 months have gotten my family and I to this point.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I think a plan is good. Think about what changes you can make to your lifestyle and ways of coping with stress etc.
Think about the support you can access, here and elsewhere.
We have monthly based Class of...support threads, the latest is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4803689
There's many different approaches and methods of face to face based recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
You can also see your Doctor or a counsellor as a start, or explore inpatient or outpatient rehab options.
D
Think about the support you can access, here and elsewhere.
We have monthly based Class of...support threads, the latest is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4803689
There's many different approaches and methods of face to face based recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
You can also see your Doctor or a counsellor as a start, or explore inpatient or outpatient rehab options.
D
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