bradley26

Well i basically got drunk at a wedding over the weekend and woke up yesterday feeling really guilty and ashamed. I dont remember much of the wedding or the 3 days after, just vague things and arguing with some guy about something. Everything was going well it was just too much with all the drink and sunshine and i was too weak to resist. Im back home now and dont plan on going to any such things in the future, ill just stay at home ,as i know theres not as much temptation if i dont leave the house. Im not gonna freak out about it too much as i dont want all the negative thoughts back that had improved alot during this last sober time before the weekend. thanks again..

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Bradley, glad you came back here to try again though. Looking back it seems you have a pretty regular cycle of bursts of sobriety and then a return do drinking - do you think that now might be the time to try something different?

Nuudawn

Excellent. You learned something. Early sobriety usually requires a little extra vigilance with what we can and cannot handle. You have to "get your legs" before you can walk...and you have to walk before you can run.

bradley26

Yeah youre right i do have bursts of being sober then it goes wrong. I wouldnt mind trying something new but i just dont know what will work. If its all in my mind then i need to be stronger, i cant get past 3 months without going back to this stuff, its crazy.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again Bradley!! You'll get there!!

Nuudawn

I put together 4 months of sobriety last year Brad. I now realize that, for me...in that 3 to 6 month period I really have to stretch out of my comfort zone. I fell victim to lonlieness and isolating. This go..I am really trying harder to find a real world community. I have been assessing "AA" meetings and I'm going to a "LifeRing" meeting on Friday. I need to "get myself out there" but in safe social situations...know what I mean?

bradley26

Nuudawn i know exactly what u mean, Loneliness and isolation describe my last 5 years. A real world community is just what i need but it must be done sober, i have pretty much alienated everyone i know apart from 2 friends but even their patience is running thin. I went to aa once but wasnt sure about it if im honest.

Windancer

I second Nuudawn. She has wonderfully wise advice.

Nuudawn

I can't say I am experiencing the "wow, I'm home" feeling some do. I will keep it in my back pocket..for sure. But I don't think I can make it my new religion ("not that there's anything wrong with that"..thank you Seinfeld). I am going to try meetings outside of my town also. I am going to try some in the city not far from me. I did like the stuff I read online about "Lifering" ..so am kind of excited to see what that's all about.

doggonecarl

What have you tried? And with what effort?

Can I suggest that you go back and read ALL your previous posts and ALL the replies to them, because the collective wisdom of SR is there. I doubt anybody is going to post something relevant in any later post that is going to turn the switch on for you, Bradley. So figure out something you can do, challenge what you can't or won't do...and end this cycle now.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

InWriting

Stay strong, and get back on that horse. A slip isn't a fall.

Aellyce

Building a new social life sober is a challenge for many (perhaps most) of us. I've had similar experiences with AA - the meetings can be interesting and I actually appreciate the 12-step program and have no reservations about the whole thing, but somehow I just don't feel much motivation for taking it more seriously. I'm going to try some groups via meetup.com - not sobriety-related, just things that interest me.

Wellnessgirl

I am or was the same. It was a vicious cycle. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Time to make a change for the good

In addition, don't beat yourself up. What's done is done. It's time to move forward and no more looking back. You are a great person....it's time to celebrate and focus what you want to become. Big hug!

bradley26

Doggonecarl I understand what u are saying but ive tried aa , tried finding a hobby, tried posting on here often but I either didn't have much to say or couldn't help posters with advice from myself. I don't know what to do myself half the time let alone give people advice about their own life. Ive tried not to go to social events with friends or family just incase I drink.

ESD907

Stay busy... There are so many organizations that need volunteers. And you will meet regular people, who don't know anything about your drinking. And you don't know about them..but you'll be volunteering together toward a common goal (what ever it is). There are shelters, food banks, hospitals, old age homes, libraries, parks for clean up, --Even odd things like horse tracks/stables... Shoveling 'it' might not be fun....but You get the idea. Dont' just think you have to be with people like you or your age group, amazing how much you get from people of all ages. Good luck.

Nuudawn

Bradley...keep updating this thread. How's that? Deal?

bradley26

Nuudawn that's a deal! thanks for ur encouragementx

Hevyn

Bradley, I'm sorry for what you went through - but really glad you came back & were honest about what happened. You can still do this - maybe now you'll be even more determined. We're all here to help.

EndGameNYC

I didn't know what was going to "work" for me until I did what "worked."

I started out with a commitment to not pick up a drink no matter what, and a leap of faith that there was a better way for me. Finding what "works" is available to everyone -- and not just talking about sobriety here -- if we're willing to work at finding it. There are no shortcuts or easy answers.

When I first got sober many years ago, I'd been complaining to my sponsor that I was in a lot of emotional pain, and that this sobriety thing was very hard for me. He said, "Congratulations!" I asked, "What does that mean?" Sponsor: "If you're not in pain in early sobriety, you probably aren't working hard enough."

Life is hard. Putting down the drink doesn't change that. But making ourselves better prepared to manage life's inevitable problems can change everything for us. For many of us, just making the effort can be a transformational process.

Carlotta

You don't have to be an encyclopedia of sober wisdom to become part of this community and help others.
There are many threads where someone could use some cheering up or just celebrated a milestone (a congratulations is always nice), brand new people coming in (you don't even have to be sober to post a welcome to SR message and redirect them to a portion of the forum which might be of interest to them.) and of course we have some plain old goofy thread on the Cafe Central.
One of our members here just lost his beloved daughter, no need for tons of sobriety to extend some loving thoughts to him.
You can also post daily to the 24 Hours Recover Connections and commit not to drink or drug http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html
My point is that you really do not need to have great wisdom or good sobriety to contribute in a valuable way to SR and become part of the community and start feeling like you belong (which you do).
Same goes with AA...I have noticed that the one who tend to relapse a lot are those who stay on the margin.