rvrnbch4

Two days ago I broke down and told my husband I need help. He is the most amazing man, he was completely loving and supportive, no shame, no guilt, just support. I've been thinking about recovery for a long time now, but was too scared to admit I may, just in fact, be an alcoholic. God has been convicting me for a few years now. I can't explain it but I have a hard time picturing what life will look like without alcohol. Everything in our social & family life involves it. What will I do while cooking dinner or lying by the pool? What will I do when anxiety creeps up, or PMS kicks in every month? What will I do with my girlfriends after work? Will I still have friends? I know I sound ridiculous, but these are thoughts that run through my head. Anyway, after dropping my kids off at practice last night, I, with shaking hands and a sick stomach walked in to a tiny, little, dirty office where the AA meeting was held. It was standing room only and a sweet homeless gentlemen gave me his chair. I had to bite my lip the entire time to keep from crying, I just kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm here". I wanted to share, but I knew I would just start bawling, everyone else seemed so happy and optimistic, I didn't want to bring down the room. When it came time to get your 'under 30 days' marble, I could not move. A sweet, pretty girl, probably around 20 yrs old, gave me a look and said, "go get your marble girl!" I shook my head and bit my cheek hard. I loved hearing people share, I was inspired by the years of sobriety in the room, and was touched to find out that a few of the members wives made cookies for the group every week. I ran out fast before anyone could talk to me and I met my husband back at the kids practice. He brought yellow roses & told me how proud he was. It was a warm night last night and it felt so good to drive home with my daughter in the car, music blaring and completely sober. I'm looking forward to next week's meeting. I also can't wait to start CR at our church next week. Its only day two, but I'm so ready to be clean, clear & healthy. Sorry about any errors, I'm doing this from the phone! Lol. God bless & if you get a chance, please pray for me.

goumcanes

Congratulations on making this realization.

As they say in the rooms, Keep coming back.

GracieLou

Your post brought me to tears. I am so glad you went and had a positive experience. It can and will get better.

Your husband sounds amazing! So happy you have support, lean on him when you need to. Being honest is the best policy in recovery.

Keep coming back and remember, One day at a time

ScottFromWI

Wonderful post, and congratulations to you. Also welcome to SR - hopefully you can find support here as well.

Nuudawn

Lovely post to read. Glad you have chosen sobriety.

awuh1

I like threads with the phrase "first AA meeting" in the title. The perspective from a person new to recovery sitting in their first AA meeting is always a little different, but nearly always has that one wonderful common thread of hope.

Something tells me you're going to be ok.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Mountainmanbob

That's a great thing to do.
CR has helped many to stay
Clean and sober
MM

sugarbear1

congrats!

what marbles?

GracieLou

I am not sure but I think I lost many a marble when I was out drinking. Maybe this AA meeting gives you your marbles back, one at a time

FreeOwl

you're on the right track....

get back in there, get your marble, share your story.... feel free to bawl. I've done it many times. It's liberating and wonderful to let that out and have a room full of people totally GET it.

Well done, keep it up.... you're moving in a direction of incredible Joy and Goodness.

You can do it.

alaina742

Yay! I read the title and thought you might be getting up the nerve to go but WOW you actually went! Good job. Now keep going back. Don't be afraid to cry- most of us have early on (and sometimes at other low points further along in sobriety.). I challenge you to stay afterwards and talk to at least one person next time.

IOAA2

Congratulations on taking that first step. It is a great feeling to be among people who understand us and the feeling comes from most meetings I’ve attended

The most helpful message I received was “KEEP COMING, IT GETS BETTER!”

BE WELL

Anna

You will figure it out. That's what we do. It takes some time and patience but you can find healthy ways to deal with anxiety. And, you can find activities with friends that don't revolve around alcohol. Yes, it takes a leap of faith to make these changes, but it will be worth it.

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad your husband is supportive of your efforts to get sober. You'll find lots of support here too.