Day 6 and drunken purchases of the past
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC 
Spending money on expensive dinners under the guise of dating, just so I'd have someone to drink with me. I preferred that my "dates" were drinkers, though not to the extent that they'd cut into my vodka money. When my relapse came to full bloom, I spent none of my surplus cash on anything but vodka.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,001
For some stupid wet brain reason whenever i would buy a fifth of vodka i would always buy something else. Something more benign. I think i thought it made me looke less like an alcoholic to the clerk. Mt garage fridge became full of bass, guiness, tetlys, mikes, hard tea, chard, pinot, chianti, port. The list goes on. No wonder im broke. Never even remembered buying them. My neighbors thought i was quite the connosieur. No i was just a burn out drunk.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 56
Living in the city drinking and shopping is dangerous. Or going to fancy hotel bars paying $18 a drink, cabs, hotels, etc. Replacing iPhones when losing or breaking them. Going to salons just to get my hair shampoo blow dried so I could keep on with my bender without looking like crap. Did I say going out in ny? Every night? =always broke.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Spending...
Not on shopping, though, I've never really liked shopping, drunk or sober. I'm actually more worried about my spending money now sober, like do I really need to go to a spa twice a week? Spend $300 or more on hair color/style monthly? But I approve of these things because they contribute to my well-being. When I was drinking, during the last few years before I quit, I became painfully minimalistic, denying even some of my most basic needs... all I wanted was to be in my room with enough vodka and my computer. In a city like NY. Was really ***ed up.
But before that stage of my progression, I had many years when I spent incredible amounts of money on traveling, especially short, 2-4 day "escapes". The plot was usually: stay in an expensive hotel, go out to expensive places (restaurants, clubs) by night and explore the area by day. Does not sound bad, right? Well, it wasn't bad
But the way I did it most often: I made elaborate plans for what I wanted to try next, where, and how. Then found the "perfect" partner in crime for it. I tried to match the personality of the travel partner with the actual design of the trip, and what I wanted to do. Often these were people who otherwise lived a pretty conventional but high profile lifestyle with families etc. I was also very picky trying to choose people that were very interesting to me: usually highly intelligent and having at least some unusual interests themselves. Needless to say, they were very happy to be part of my "stories" made real in these specific space and time intervals. "Happy" actually does not cut it; several times they got really hooked on these "stories" with me, sometimes to the point it would mess with their mind and life big time. I think I pretended to care and pretended not wanting to cause a mess, but truly, I mostly cared about making reality from my fantasies, and if they involved other people, I did not hesitate. But everyone and everything strictly compartmentalized. For many years I did not think there was anything wrong with this lifestyle - after all, I was just traveling and having fun. Of course they were all drinkers, and the "escapes" involved a lot of drinking, out on the town or staying in... anywhere, really. I did it alone as well many times. Why worry about these expensive trips just about once a month? Also, often they were linked to business trips, I just added a few days.
I still think about these trips sometimes and if I want to be honest, I miss them sometimes. Seeing many interesting places, enjoying the good company, indulging in the luxury, living in many of my crazy fantasies in a few-day space-time compartment at a time... while in the everyday, I would be quite the opposite: pretty minimalistic, often frugal even, living a "life of the mind" as if I did not have physical needs and a physical existence... All sorts of extremes.
Of course it's very challenging to try and make a balanced, "normal" life now... I need to be learning many things completely anew as I've never really lived a truly healthy lifestyle, I think. I need to learn how to use my creativity for healthy, constructive purposes only.
Not on shopping, though, I've never really liked shopping, drunk or sober. I'm actually more worried about my spending money now sober, like do I really need to go to a spa twice a week? Spend $300 or more on hair color/style monthly? But I approve of these things because they contribute to my well-being. When I was drinking, during the last few years before I quit, I became painfully minimalistic, denying even some of my most basic needs... all I wanted was to be in my room with enough vodka and my computer. In a city like NY. Was really ***ed up.
But before that stage of my progression, I had many years when I spent incredible amounts of money on traveling, especially short, 2-4 day "escapes". The plot was usually: stay in an expensive hotel, go out to expensive places (restaurants, clubs) by night and explore the area by day. Does not sound bad, right? Well, it wasn't bad
But the way I did it most often: I made elaborate plans for what I wanted to try next, where, and how. Then found the "perfect" partner in crime for it. I tried to match the personality of the travel partner with the actual design of the trip, and what I wanted to do. Often these were people who otherwise lived a pretty conventional but high profile lifestyle with families etc. I was also very picky trying to choose people that were very interesting to me: usually highly intelligent and having at least some unusual interests themselves. Needless to say, they were very happy to be part of my "stories" made real in these specific space and time intervals. "Happy" actually does not cut it; several times they got really hooked on these "stories" with me, sometimes to the point it would mess with their mind and life big time. I think I pretended to care and pretended not wanting to cause a mess, but truly, I mostly cared about making reality from my fantasies, and if they involved other people, I did not hesitate. But everyone and everything strictly compartmentalized. For many years I did not think there was anything wrong with this lifestyle - after all, I was just traveling and having fun. Of course they were all drinkers, and the "escapes" involved a lot of drinking, out on the town or staying in... anywhere, really. I did it alone as well many times. Why worry about these expensive trips just about once a month? Also, often they were linked to business trips, I just added a few days. I still think about these trips sometimes and if I want to be honest, I miss them sometimes. Seeing many interesting places, enjoying the good company, indulging in the luxury, living in many of my crazy fantasies in a few-day space-time compartment at a time... while in the everyday, I would be quite the opposite: pretty minimalistic, often frugal even, living a "life of the mind" as if I did not have physical needs and a physical existence... All sorts of extremes.
Of course it's very challenging to try and make a balanced, "normal" life now... I need to be learning many things completely anew as I've never really lived a truly healthy lifestyle, I think. I need to learn how to use my creativity for healthy, constructive purposes only.
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