Once you pop the fun don't stop (long post sorry please read it all)
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by Nuudawn 
By wonder, does that mean you allow for that which is mystical or inexplicable or is their a scientific, rational explanation for everything?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
. You won't see me posting to your thread with a simple "congrats on x days" -- not that those posts aren't valuable-- it's just that it's in my nature to fuel a discussion and discussion is always good as long as we are respectful.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 142
I appreciate your post! I guess I find it a bit intimidating, but I am going to pipe in anyway... Hahah. Science supports that a life free of alcohol and drugs is completely possible and healthy. Until science catches up with the penchant for self destruction, we are fortunate to find a community to discuss why we have a compulsion to touch a hot stove, despite repeatedly getting burned.
Drinking alcohol is a choice. Plan and simple. People can make excuses, rationalizations, create labels like the beast and AV, but ultimately it is about taking personal responsibility. Drinking or not drinking should be a small part of how individuals are defining themselves.
I find that the more I see people focus on this one element, the less I see people realize their larger potential. The real context should be: how and what can I contribute? Am I going perform at my best today at work? Will I make sure that I am demonstrating to the people I love that they have my caring and support? Am I being kind to myself and others? Am I contributing positive energy? (Insert "questions pertaining to lightening the burdens on yourself and others and the reinforcement of positive life choices")
If drinking does not align with these goals? Abstain. And then take any steps to help accomplish abstaining. No debate on methods necessary.
When you describe yourself as a protagonist, which definition are you using?
: the main character in a novel, play, movie, etc.
: an important person who is involved in a competition, conflict, or cause
It looks like you have so much going for you. I hope that you are using the second definition, and that you are your biggest cause. You have the ability to contribute so much.
Wishing you the best!
Pork
Drinking alcohol is a choice. Plan and simple. People can make excuses, rationalizations, create labels like the beast and AV, but ultimately it is about taking personal responsibility. Drinking or not drinking should be a small part of how individuals are defining themselves.
I find that the more I see people focus on this one element, the less I see people realize their larger potential. The real context should be: how and what can I contribute? Am I going perform at my best today at work? Will I make sure that I am demonstrating to the people I love that they have my caring and support? Am I being kind to myself and others? Am I contributing positive energy? (Insert "questions pertaining to lightening the burdens on yourself and others and the reinforcement of positive life choices")
If drinking does not align with these goals? Abstain. And then take any steps to help accomplish abstaining. No debate on methods necessary.
When you describe yourself as a protagonist, which definition are you using?
: the main character in a novel, play, movie, etc.
: an important person who is involved in a competition, conflict, or cause
It looks like you have so much going for you. I hope that you are using the second definition, and that you are your biggest cause. You have the ability to contribute so much.
Wishing you the best!
Pork
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
Serper, smoking and drinking do go awesomely hand in hand.
Last night I had a cigar while golfing, something I normally savored when having beer. Since I was drinking NA beer, I found I didn't enjoy the cigar. Quitting both will be tough at the same time (Ever seen "Clean and Sober"?) but may be a good approach. Beer is better with smoking, and smoking is better with beer. Ugh.
The shortening of sober cycles strikes me as someone losing their coping mechanisms, and therefore their hope that they can do this. I've heard the same about guys who have an affair. Doing it the first time is the hardest - each time after becomes easier, as they've psychologically crossed the barrier that keeps them from doing it in the first place.
Including social isolation, really the only person you let down when you recommence drinking is yourself. As us drinkers are typically good at self-loathing, we can take pride for the first (longest) sober period, then get used to the idea of ourselves failing. And if we're fine with letting ourselves down, then it gets easier and easier to relapse.
I see your situation as at a pretty critical juncture:
- Decide you have to change your life and make a commitment (and a plan) to no longer disappoint yourself. Based on your OP, I'd suggest a visit to the secular recovery forum here at SR might be a good next step, and can possibly give you a plan.
- Continue to self-loathe, have low expectations for your recovery, have difficulty imagining a life without alcohol, and continue to drink. At this point, you put yourself in a position where you may lose the ability to make choices. These choices may be made for you by a judge, social worker, probation officer, or mortician.
Sounds like you need a plan my friend, and this is a good place to start.
Last night I had a cigar while golfing, something I normally savored when having beer. Since I was drinking NA beer, I found I didn't enjoy the cigar. Quitting both will be tough at the same time (Ever seen "Clean and Sober"?) but may be a good approach. Beer is better with smoking, and smoking is better with beer. Ugh.
The shortening of sober cycles strikes me as someone losing their coping mechanisms, and therefore their hope that they can do this. I've heard the same about guys who have an affair. Doing it the first time is the hardest - each time after becomes easier, as they've psychologically crossed the barrier that keeps them from doing it in the first place.
Including social isolation, really the only person you let down when you recommence drinking is yourself. As us drinkers are typically good at self-loathing, we can take pride for the first (longest) sober period, then get used to the idea of ourselves failing. And if we're fine with letting ourselves down, then it gets easier and easier to relapse.
I see your situation as at a pretty critical juncture:
- Decide you have to change your life and make a commitment (and a plan) to no longer disappoint yourself. Based on your OP, I'd suggest a visit to the secular recovery forum here at SR might be a good next step, and can possibly give you a plan.
- Continue to self-loathe, have low expectations for your recovery, have difficulty imagining a life without alcohol, and continue to drink. At this point, you put yourself in a position where you may lose the ability to make choices. These choices may be made for you by a judge, social worker, probation officer, or mortician.
Sounds like you need a plan my friend, and this is a good place to start.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
my neuroscience background and hippocampal memory habituation research makes me believe otherwise. I can get into this research in private messages if you want, but I don't think that it's beneficial for newcomers because it does go against recovery dogma to some extent but I don't have an example that you may find interesting.
You seem pretty bright, but smart isn't going to get you sober. Quit thinking and quit drinking.
You seem pretty bright, but smart isn't going to get you sober. Quit thinking and quit drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I agree with Carl - and it's not an anti-science or anti intellectualism message...it's just an acknowledgement of the fact that nothing works as well as action - in this case the action of not drinking.
If you have a parasite, you don't debate with it - you cut it out.
D
If you have a parasite, you don't debate with it - you cut it out.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by porkchopped
I appreciate your post! I guess I find it a bit intimidating, but I am going to pipe in anyway... Hahah. Science supports that a life free of alcohol and drugs is completely possible and healthy. Until science catches up with the penchant for self destruction, we are fortunate to find a community to discuss why we have a compulsion to touch a hot stove, despite repeatedly getting burned.
Drinking alcohol is a choice. Plan and simple. People can make excuses, rationalizations, create labels like the beast and AV, but ultimately it is about taking personal responsibility. Drinking or not drinking should be a small part of how individuals are defining themselves.
I find that the more I see people focus on this one element, the less I see people realize their larger potential. The real context should be: how and what can I contribute? Am I going perform at my best today at work? Will I make sure that I am demonstrating to the people I love that they have my caring and support? Am I being kind to myself and others? Am I contributing positive energy? (Insert "questions pertaining to lightening the burdens on yourself and others and the reinforcement of positive life choices")
If drinking does not align with these goals? Abstain. And then take any steps to help accomplish abstaining. No debate on methods necessary.
When you describe yourself as a protagonist, which definition are you using?
: the main character in a novel, play, movie, etc.
: an important person who is involved in a competition, conflict, or cause
It looks like you have so much going for you. I hope that you are using the second definition, and that you are your biggest cause. You have the ability to contribute so much.
Wishing you the best!
Pork
Drinking alcohol is a choice. Plan and simple. People can make excuses, rationalizations, create labels like the beast and AV, but ultimately it is about taking personal responsibility. Drinking or not drinking should be a small part of how individuals are defining themselves.
I find that the more I see people focus on this one element, the less I see people realize their larger potential. The real context should be: how and what can I contribute? Am I going perform at my best today at work? Will I make sure that I am demonstrating to the people I love that they have my caring and support? Am I being kind to myself and others? Am I contributing positive energy? (Insert "questions pertaining to lightening the burdens on yourself and others and the reinforcement of positive life choices")
If drinking does not align with these goals? Abstain. And then take any steps to help accomplish abstaining. No debate on methods necessary.
When you describe yourself as a protagonist, which definition are you using?
: the main character in a novel, play, movie, etc.
: an important person who is involved in a competition, conflict, or cause
It looks like you have so much going for you. I hope that you are using the second definition, and that you are your biggest cause. You have the ability to contribute so much.
Wishing you the best!
Pork
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by Raider
. You won't see me posting to your thread with a simple "congrats on x days" -- not that those posts aren't valuable-- it's just that it's in my nature to fuel a discussion and discussion is always good as long as we are respectful.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Despite my opinions, I need to firmly and fully believe that I will never drink again under any circumstance, that is where your comments will help.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Despite my opinions, I need to firmly and fully believe that I will never drink again under any circumstance, that is where your comments will help.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
Originally Posted by Serper2014
I do appreciate posts that say congratulations on x days and you can do it serper! However, at least in this thread, please direct your responses to ANYTHING I have said. I'm open for discussion about various things and I appreciate any personal stories that will help me finally make it this time.
Serper
Serper
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Serper2014
Hmm I don't know...most things I think there is a rational explanation for, whether we know it or not..... but if we don't know the reason or cannot possibly know the reason then that's where wonder comes in...
Hope that makes sense and I'm not just rambling incoherent drivel. Entirely possible as I'm weary minded today.
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