soozelander

I'm trying to understand or normalize my husband's behavior. He has all the markings of a Narcissist but maybe it's just his opiate addiction. I know next to nothing about addiction. I know that he lies to me constantly, steals from me, his parents, my 8year old, lost his job, constantly looking for companionship on craigslist casual encounters (he's never met anyone that I know of but he seems to crave the attention), he will abuse any substance that can be abused, he has physically and emotionally abused me, he has spent almost 50 days in jail this year and has had several run ins with the law. Is this typical addiction behavior or something more??? I love him of course and he's getting help now but he's only been sober 20days and I'm not sure I have another relapse in me. I know these are decisions I have to make myself but I'd like to know if it's normal. I have no understanding of addiction. Any feedback helps, thank you

Raider

Maybe you should snoop around in here. Read. There is a lot of info on addiction.

I don't know what normal is anymore. I don't see anything in your post that I haven't read before.

Ack!! Read all the horrible things he has done to you. Look what he has done to your son. Why are you there? Please tell me why?

NightsWatch

Hi soozelander, I guess I don't really understand why you want to try and normalize behavior that (to me) seem unhealthy and impossible to live a happy life with. Whether it's his addiction or not, do you want to be treated that way? Addiction can become an excuse to do all sorts of horrible things. I don't doubt that he has a problem, and if he's sincere about stopping, I commend him for it, but I also don't think "addiction" makes all those things he has done somehow okay. Does he see the wrong he has done? If not, it probably won't get much better.

Ceec

I'm not sure if the addiction is causing him to do all these things, but for me I was constantly lying to everyone around me to hide my addiction. I'm also ashamed to say I stole from my parents and friend to buy booze. As well I would constantly go on dating sites because like you said it was for attention. Sorry I could not answer your question fully but I hope I have leant you some insight.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum soozelander!!

soozelander

I guess I'm still trying to figure out why I'm still with him. He's abandoned me in every way a person can but he's also battling something I can't wrap my head around. I'm also super codependent on him. I thought this guy was my ticket to a better life and my life was mega awesome before I met him. Now, it crazy sucks but I guess I'm just holding on to maybe he'll get better and what if I miss out on the love of my life because I gave up on him.

Ruby2

I think you have a lot going on and need support of your own, not just what you can do to help him. My husband did a lot of the things you described. It hurts. But when I realized I could only take care of me and our kids it got better.

Try the family and friends of substance abusers forum on here. There are a lot of very supportive people on here to help support you and have been through the same stuff.

Good luck.