Needinghelp82

After 54 days

I'm now on day two - yesterday was tough but I saw my GP and we have a plan in place. Feeling a bit better today.

I'm so disappointed in myself...

Ghostlight1

Don't be too hard on yourself. I tried and failed a hundred times. Congratulations on day two and seeing your GP.
Just remember, you never have to drink again. One day at a time.
Best to you.

hope22

Don't beat yourself up, I did the same thing 4 days ago. We can get though this

Needinghelp82

I was just feeling frustrated I guess. No excuse but it seemed like it would be an ok idea.

Back to the start of it, this needs to be it.

trachemys

So you relapsed once in 56 days AND you're already back to abstinent? I count that as a victory.

Tempe

Day 2 again myself. We can do it. 54 sober days is awesome.

Needinghelp82

I woke up yesterday and felt so embarrassed/ashamed/guilty at my behaviour for my husband and daughter. I'd not had a huge amount but still drank. I've said it before but I never want that waking up feeling like that again.

It's 3:30pm here on day two. I KNOW I won't drink today. I need to keep that mentality.

When I saw my doctor she initially suggested tapering - having a small glass getting smaller each night. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea so I've got a low dose benzo to take if I'm feeling tempted - there is no way I would ever mix the two!

Thank you though

Climber122

Getting sober is a process - don't be hard on yourself. I don't know too many recovering alcoholics who were able to stop on the first attempt. Addictions are hard to break, but you're moving in the right direction. If you find you are unable to "stay stopped," but still desire to stop, consider reaching out for help to a service in your area. If anything, you can use your lapse as continued evidence that you are not in control of your drinking. That can be a motivator to realize that!

PurpleKnight

Go at it again, don't beat yourself up!! You can do this!!

Needinghelp82

I've got an appointment with the local service on Monday. I'm going to do this but just take it one day at a time.

The couple of drinks were so not worth losing 54 days. What a stupid thing to do...

biminiblue

Sweetie, you've had some huge life issues to deal with.

So proud of you for putting it down again. You want this badly, I know you do.

Well done. Just a little blip.

neferkamichael

Needinghelp82, already back on day 2? FANTASTIC, rootin for ya.

HeadLump

Be kind to yourself, Needing. You're making great progress

Mac1

Good on you mate...stick at it

Needinghelp82

Just to add the initial suggestion of tapering was because I had a whole bottle. It hit me very hard as it had been so long since I'd touched alcohol and about 67 days since I'd had more than a glass. I said I felt like I needed a glass to 'make me feel better' so we discussed tapering. We then agreed it was better to have a supply of Ativan in case I'm feeling tempted.

There's no alcohol in the house. I took a benzo last night because I freaked myself out that I'd have severe withdrawals and die (mind of anxiety disorder kicking in there). Today I'm feeling ok so will probably pass - the last thing I need would to to start another addiction.

Thank you for all of the replies. It's taken me hours to get the courage to post this.

Jupiters

don't beat yourself too much - you have had an incredibly tough few months with everything. AND you got right back on the horse.
stay strong sister!

sameer1974

i relapsed for 3 days after 5 months but now again sober today 9 days

Nuudawn

Really?
I'm far too black and white of a thinker to understand you're doctor's thinking here. Did you require tapering or benzo's 55 days ago?

Needinghelp82

I had low dose benzo in the initial days. Her thinking was because I'd drank so much after a period off I might feel psychologically I needed some support.

I'm doing ok though, by myself. They're treating my alcoholism as a symptom of my anxiety and it's also because they've updated my regular meds to help with the adjustment.

It's a new doctor (a psychiatrist) I'm seeing now.

Dee74

I'm just really glad you didn't abandon yourself to the despair pain and stress of the last few weeks.

It's good to have back - and great to hear you have a plan

D