ply

Hi, I'm looking for advice to see if someone else has been in a similar situation.

I don't drink everyday, usually every Friday and Saturday, but the occasional weekday. When I do drink though, there's no stopping me until I pass out and I remember little about the night before.

I'm still feeling dreadful from this weekend when I got so drunk I upset family and ended up driving over the limit. I feel terribly anxious and depressed and really want to stop drinking, but I know that'll disappear in a few days in time for the weekend when I'll think I feel ok again, I may as well drink.

I've been to AA in the past and stopped drinking for about 6 months, but as I only tend to drink at weekends I felt like a bit of a fraud and started drinking again.

I don't know where to turn now, but know I can't carry on like this.

ScottFromWI

If AA worked for you why not return there? How much you drink or how often you do it really doesn't matter that much. If it causes problems then not drinking is a smart choice.

I will say this - drinking until you pass out or driving drunk is a giant red flag no matter how often it happens.

Jupiters

2nd DUI over here.
Don't do it. Trust me.
The fact that you are aware what you are doing, means you have the ability to CHANGE it.
Once you get that DUI and god willing, nobody else is involved, you cannot go back.

poofu02

I have similar issues! I used to drink every single weekend and get very intoxicated. I couldn't stop! I'm now only out maybe 10 days a year, but every time I'm out I get drunk. I can't just have one or two. My "friends" also binge drink all the time, so that doesn't help any. When alcohol is causing problems for you, it is a problem...

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome.
In my early drinking career I drank like you. Those weekends turned into weekdays and my drinking careened out of control. Heavy drinking, even on just weekends, usually gets worse as time goes on.
Blackouts are a sign of a problem drinker. I know, I've been there many times.
You say you tried AA. You're not a fraud if you think you belong there and abstained while attending meetings.
Why not go back? You'll be welcomed with open arms.
Save yourself the nightmare I lived for ten years and stop now.
I also thought once I recovered from the last bout of drinking and was feeling better it was OK to drink again. As I stated, this led to a vicious cycle of being either drunk or recovering form one.
I wish you the best. You'll find a lot of support here.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum ply!!

If alcohol is causing problems in your life then something needs to change, for me Sobriety was the answer, even drinking only at weekends can call for a change.

Think about what alcohol, no matter the quantity, is doing to your life, for me I decided we needed to part ways if I was TO regain my life back.

You'll find loads of support here on SR!!

hayley86

Welcome ply, drinking until you pass out / drink driving should be a warning sign that you have a problem. Alcoholism is progressive and it will only get worse. I used to only drink on the weekends, then it crept up to a couple of nights a week and then by the end i was drinking daily. Sobriety is a better way of life, i no longer have the constant anxiety about what i might have said or done. You'll find tons of support here. Wish you the best.

Citrus

Welcome to SR ply! I think you have come to the right place, SR is a wealth of information and help. Good luck on your journey.

Hevyn

Welcome - it's good to meet you ply.

I think it'll really help you to be here & talk this over. Please be careful - I started out just being a weekend drinker & ended up drinking 24/7. I had no control once it was in my system - but refused to admit it. You're already seeing a problem, and that's so important. I hope you'll find the help you're looking for. Glad you're here.

ply

Thanks for your replies. Guess I'll give AA a go again.

My friends see me as just someone who likes to have a good time. It took a lot to convince them that I needed to be at AA last time and then I had to convince them I didn't.

I'm thinking at the moment I'll just tell them I'm on a break from drinking, but I do worry that'll make it easier for me to get drunk again.

At least it's a start I suppose. I already feel uplifted thinking I could break this.

Thanks again!

HealthyK

Hey Ply - I had previously told friends of mine I thought maybe I should go to meetings and they were friends who drank more than me, so they of course didn't think I had an issue. I've had other people, including my mom, tell me to just go out and drink socially and cut myself off. The problem is, I can't. And I'm guessing you've been there, judging from your post here. I think the support here and finding out that you're not alone is huge. Everyone on this forum is very supportive and welcoming and I think that helps. Good for you for wanting to make a positive change. I'm day 2 myself. So, I'm right there with ya!

Seanfox

Hi Ply welcome to SR.

I was in the same boat as you, I wasn't an everyday drinker but I would binge every weekend and lose a lot of dignity and money in doing so. My friends don't think I have a problem because they do the same thing. I know I had to stop and I'm glad I have, even though it's still early. I know I'm on my way to a better life for myself. Do what's best for yourself, don't worry if people question your decision.

Jackandbess2

Hello PLY, maybe we could walk together for a while on this journey as I am in a very similar situation to you. I can stay away from drinking for two or three days but then when I do drink I don't have a "stop" button! I will just keep going and drink anything in sight to get me to a place of blackout. I was not always like this, although interestingly my father was an alcoholic. It has only been the last five years that I seam to have developed an un healthy relationship with alcohol. My dependency, once I start, actually exhausts me as it seams that I am not satisfied until I can not stand up! Very embarrassing for a woman in her fifties! I decided to stop the day after my birthday this year with an almighty hangover to encourage me. It's been 4 months now and I am getting really worried as I just do not know how much longer I can resist a drink. All my friends keep encouraging me and I work in a drinking culture environment. My years on this planet tell me that I have a problem as when I drink I am totally out of control, the drink controls me. So even if I drank once a month the way that I drink sits very uncomfortably with me! Yet another part of me tells myself that everyone drinks a lot these days and that by comparison I don't actually drink very much at all, two thirds of a bottle of wine a night maybe four nights out of seven. Half the time I tell myself that I have a problem and that I need to stay away from alcohol and the other half is spent telling myself that you only live once and to enjoy it. What a nightmare this is.

soberjuly

I got lucky. I never got a DUI, despite many times driving intoxicated. Really lucky, especially being a mother, I would have been shunned.

The nicest thing now, okay I am only on Day 3, but the nicest thing is being able to drive and not be worried about the police.

I have an ex-husband who would love a reason to take more custody of the kids and I was risking that.

If you can't remember the night before, which happened to me just this past Friday, then quit. You are probably damaging your brain.

Never mind all the relationship troubles. I am usually a bitch when drunk and I have paid the price. Or just snarky enough that people don't want to deal with it.

Or go one year off alcohol and then reassess, maybe July 4th, your birthday and New Year's. I'm sure I can't do that but maybe you can.

If I drink on New Year's I probably wouldn't stop until July 4th.

I can come up with every excuse to drink.

least

It doesn't matter how often you drink, or what, or how much - what matters is what happens when you drink. And driving drunk is very bad. Your whole life could come crashing down if you had an accident when drunk. Give it up entirely. You won't be missing anything but trouble.

Wastinglife

Yep, well said. No one else I know ends up passed out in alleyways or in the drunk-tank at the police station. I used to think that I was a drinker like them until my whole life got consumed. I have one DUI, if I get another one, that is mandatory jail time here in Canada.

Raider

PLY - you said in your OP you don't know where to turn, I'm going to tell you.

Number One - you will never drink and drive again because you understand you may just take out a family of four. And what if you were the only survivor. Then you get to live with that the rest of your life. But you'll probably be in the pen convicted of negligent homicide (X 4). Unless you're lucky enough to get the death penalty.

Number 2 - see number one.

Whew thanks for the vent. You hit my button.

Dee74

Welcome ply

There's nothing at all fraudulent about being a 'weekend warrior'. It's every bit as destructive as any other kind of alcoholic drinking.

If AA worked for you before, I really hope you consider going back Ply

D

Dee74

Welcome to you too JackandBess2

I totally agree you only live once - which is why drinking is such a bad investment... think of the days wasted, and the hangovers, and health worries and the dangerous situations...

I've done more in the last seven years sober than I did in the 20 years before that drunk.

SR helped me turn my life around - I know you'll find help and support here too.

D

Jackandbess2

Thank you Dee