getItright

Hey everyone. I stumbled on this website by accident, after doing some research. I've always enjoyed a cold beer or a mixed drink on the weekends, but over the past few years, that weekend drink has turned into a few nights a week, to almost nightly. My life isn't without stress. With work, kids, usuall issues me wife and I deal with, sometimes I just get overwhelmed. I feel like a smoker who has a cigarette after every meal. its like at night, when the kids go down, I think "ok now what to drink", its almost automatic. The nights where I dont have a drink, I just feel off, and I guess anxious. Lately my wife has taken notice, and she has expressed her concerns. Its not like we are fighting, or that I neglect my family or work or anything like that, but she is concerned for my health. I am concerned because I feel like if I dont figure something out, Im going to turn into something I never imagined I could be.

I know for a fact that alcoholism runs in my family. My parents drink, my grandfather drank ALOT, brothers and sister drink. None of which (except the grandfather) has ever had issues financially, or with family, anything that would make you stop and say "they have a REAL problem". I just feel like im different from them, and I am afriad that I am going to be the family member who ends up being "THAT Uncle". I cant imagine passing something like this onto my kids.

I used to work at a rehab hosital, so I know all the "tell tale" denial lines like "i can stop when I want" or "i dont have a problem" along with knowing where every liqour store is on the way home from work. THATS what scares me the most, is that I am starting to see patterns that I have heard people in recovery talk about.

I just feel ashamed that I am even at this point. I want to stop, i feel like its habbit that I just need to change. I dont even really like to drink, i hate waking up feel groggy, I feel lazy when I drink, i hate even going into the stores cause I feel like a dirt bag.

I dont know, does anyone have any clue what Im feelign like, or do I just sound like a complete whinny sucker?

Stoogy

There is no shame in realising you potentially have a problem, the shame would be in continuing too drink while being aware you potentially have an issue.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that can indeed creep up on you but you are doing the right thing on taking a stance.

Nuudawn

Ohhhh...we have a clue alright. You are not alone whatsoever. And a complete whiny sucker? Just stop that...now okay?

I'm so very glad that you have decided to address this...problem...habit...er um...possible addiction.

We are all here fighting for sobriety. You're in a good place.

Anna

It's not so much how much you drink or how often, but how you feel when you drink. It sounds like you don't like the person you become when you drink. I understand that because it was the same for me.

I'm glad you found us and I hope that you decide to stop drinking and live a sober life.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR. Like Stoogy says, drinking is progressive. I realized years before I quit that I "probably" had a problem, but I kept sticking my head back in the sand (or bottle) and kept drinking. Probably turned into "did" have a problem. By waiting, I made quitting that much more difficult.

If your drinking is merely a habit, you should be able to stop without too much problem. Why don't you try for 6 months. If you don't have a problem quitting, well so much better for you and your wife. If you struggle...then you just have to deal with the stopping in a different manner.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum getItright!!

My drinking became quite a habit every night, I used to only have a few beers at the weekend and that escalated to having a drink every night, the habit then was tough to not stick to every evening after work so it went on for years.

The problem though is things can progress further so the "highly functioning" problem drinker graduates from beer to liquor, to maybe not always in the evening but during the day time, and so on until something eventually has to give.

I would say I caught my problem early enough not to do any serious damage to my career, finances, relationships etc, but I needed to sit down and really think in the same way as you are doing right now "is there a problem here?"

For me the answer was yes so I changed that part of my life, our lives are in our hands, but we need to take the steps needed to change the journey, otherwise as creatures of habit we just continue down the same path!!

Mizzuno

I have been in your shoes more times than I can count. It does get worse. It does have a hefty price tag in terms of relationships, life, esteem, possibly financially. This **** is progressive and detrimental. If your wife is bringing this concern up and you are questioning what is going on perhaps its time to throw in the towel and make a clean break. This cannot be won, or moderated, or adjusted, or explained. However, you have to come to your own conclusions and sometimes, most times, it takes something world shaking to get there. We are here for support.

getItright

I can't believe the ammount of responses I have received in the shrot ammount of time since I posted this about an hour ago. I thank you all for taking the small ammount of time to respond. I have a great supporter in my wife, but she didnt grow up with a family who involved alcohol in what seemed like everything, so sometimes I'm not sure she can quite understand how difficult it can be. I'm definitely going to keep visiting this website for additional support. Again thank you.

EndGameNYC

Experiencing shame is a crucial part of self-evaluation and carries important information about who we are and what we do. The inability to experience shame or guilt is a cardinal symptom of what we refer to as "psychopaths." But if it were therapeutic in any meaningful way, I'd endorse it as an effective treatment.

In many cases, we often take our shame and run with it, making it the impetus to continue drinking. "Well, seeing as I truly am a POS, I might as well continue drinking." Or, worse, as an excuse to continue our downward spiral; to do nothing to help ourselves. "Nothing I do will ever make a difference." "I'm beyond help." "I'm a lost cause."

Taking action is the remedy for despair, whereas doing nothing is no decision at all and only guarantees increasing misery. The scores of people here and elsewhere who refuse to get help or seek support of any kind are a sad though formidable testament to this reality.

Take back your life before it runs away from you.

HeadLump

I can't really add to the brilliant responses you've had here, but just wanted to extend a warm welcome

trachemys

Then don't be. My uncle, only ten years older than me, literally drank himself to death.

If you think there's a problem, there probably is.