girlsearching

I haven't been on here in a while. I'm day 226 not drinking (7 months). I feel better physically and mentally, but I think my marriage is heading for a breakup. We both drank, and I quit when I realized I just could not go on like that. Husband won't quit. He slows down at times to try and please me, but after 7 months without alcohol, I just don't feel like I'm in the same place anymore. I'm starting to experience severe anxiety. I don't feel like it will make me go back to drinking, but I'm in a very uncomfortable place. Has anybody been through this? I feel guilty because I was right there with him for so long. After being sober for a few months I just realize I wasn't really living. Now I want to live and I want to do fun things, but he is not capable of that. I'm scared, but more scared of what will happen if I stay.

isitme

unfortunately I have no answers or even insightful words. But I share those same concerns and I believe it's one of the things that keeps me drinking.....

So I applaud you for getting to 7 months. Congratulations!!!

Mags1

Hi girlsearching, we go through so many emotions when we give up drink. I , myself have my emotions up and down but the advice I was given and followed to present, is to not do anything life changing for at least a year.

Concentrate on keeping sober for now.xx

soberclover

Congratulations on your 7 months! Often times we have to let some people in our life go when we get sober. It doesn't mean that we don't love or care about them. It just means that we don't fit in to that type of relationship any more. I hope you have a solid support network around you. Good for you for reaching out!

Anna

Congratulations on your recovery. Early recovery is often a time of change and some of the changes can be really tough. Try to keep focusing on your recovery and I hope that you find some peace.

Serenidad

I would recommend waiting until you have a full year of sobriety before making any major changes. At that point maybe seek marriage counseling? Can you "shelf" you marriage problems for a little while longer?

Obviously if it's jeopardizing your sobriety, health or safety....something should be done now but if you can wait it out a little longer that's my 2 cents.

I have a friend who divorced her husband when she only had 6 months of sobriety or so and she deeply regrets it now. Once she had over a year of sobriety she realized she had made a big mistake but he was already engaged to someone else. :-(

It takes a long time to heal after we quit drinking. Hang in there! Message me any time and I can share a little more of my experience with MY husband with you (during my 6 yrs of sobriety).

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Serenidad

P.S. Congrats on 7 months!!! :-)

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Dee74

Hi girlsearching

I'm sorry for your situation.
I have no advice to offer but I hope your husbands moment of clarity comes before it's too late.

I wish the best for for both of you - I know you'll find support here

D

LBrain

congrats on having 7 months. that's fantastic.

Do your best to keep doing what works to keep you sober - that's most important for you right now.