Addiction to internet/computers
Guess what gang? It's not gonna change. We can b!tch and complain all we want about it, but it's here to stay. Progress/technology will continue to change our lives. We can romanticize about how great the "good old days" were or we can embrace the new frontier. I choose the later.
My degree is in computer sciences. Technology I love. The ever changing lack of human communication is what bothers me.
My husband traded time being next to his fathers deathbed to okay video games because it was "too hot" to go sit in that room. I'm sure he was in denial too of what was occurring. When he finally went to be with him all that he kept saying is how he will never get back those precious moments because he died two days later. He talked about he didn't realize how messed up his priorities were. Be week later he was back at it like he never even said that.
THAT is a problem.
Guess what gang? It's not gonna change. We can b!tch and complain all we want about it, but it's here to stay. Progress/technology will continue to change our lives. We can romanticize about how great the "good old days" were or we can embrace the new frontier. I choose the later.
![Wink](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif)
Actually this is the epitome of why I have the opinion that I do.
I work in an office of cubes and directly with two other people. Our cubes ate next to each other. Talking would not require yelling nor be disruptive to anyone else.
We communicate through Skype. I sit down at my desk I open Skype and there is the group window and I see the words "Good Morning" responded to by the person sitting right next to the other person saying "Good Morning!"
REALLY????
I work in an office of cubes and directly with two other people. Our cubes ate next to each other. Talking would not require yelling nor be disruptive to anyone else.
We communicate through Skype. I sit down at my desk I open Skype and there is the group window and I see the words "Good Morning" responded to by the person sitting right next to the other person saying "Good Morning!"
REALLY????
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
Being a sneaky, manipilative, under-handed control freak who wants attention when having a conversation or leading a meeting requires developing tactics that work without insult. 1. Leading a meeting: "Okay, let's get...oh, wait." Take cellphone out. Put on silent, lay on table or podium. "I turned that thing off. If you'll all do the same we'll probably get finished sooner without interruptions." Then wait on them. When the first person sets down their phone, proceed. 2. One on one: Take cellphone out. Put on silent, lay on table. "I turned that thing off. I'd rather to talk to you right now." Pause. I'm not above despicable tactics. If someone's phone keeps interrupting even after being asked to focus on the meeting, stop and ask them if they need to attend to an emergency. One on one, should they stop for a call or text, you text them sitting right beside them. Ask them, "Is a better?".
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Powerless Jerk
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Stow
Posts: 18
Progress and technology are one thing but the moment humanity values technology above human interaction and a virtual porn star becomes a full fledged relationship that's where we run into trouble.
My first memories are of my grandparents' house. They were tenant farmers. One light bulb per room, hand pump for water in the kitchen, pot bellied stove in the living room.
Now I have a computer in my lap, another in my hand, and can communicate with anyone in the world at any time.
I'd go back to the before in a heartbeat.
LTV, it's worked out great. I took up backpacking, got my old fishing gear out, and headed for places that cell signals can't reach.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
Before and after? It stuns me to think of what has happened in my short years. My first memories are of my grandparents' house. They were tenant farmers. One light bulb per room, hand pump for water in the kitchen, pot bellied stove in the living room. Now I have a computer in my lap, another in my hand, and can communicate with anyone in the world at any time. I'd go back to the before in a heartbeat.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
in my opinion, internet addiction is a "good" thing ![Biggrin](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
keeps you entertained, keeps you up-to-date and informed with REAL news, keeps you in good/higher-IQ company than what you get in real life, has whatever information you need available at the click of a mouse, for all this value you receive you only get charged a dirt-cheap fee in most cases ($50-$80 per month), makes communication and doing business a breeze - no need for a bunch of unnecessary commutes or paying for extra gas, and the list goes on and on and on and on............. what's not to love??
If "the internet" is an addiction............. then i'll be an "addict" for life, it just adds THAT much value to my life - quite simply, the internet makes my life better. I first discovered/experienced the internet at age 8 and i have been on it ever since. Much love
![Biggrin](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
keeps you entertained, keeps you up-to-date and informed with REAL news, keeps you in good/higher-IQ company than what you get in real life, has whatever information you need available at the click of a mouse, for all this value you receive you only get charged a dirt-cheap fee in most cases ($50-$80 per month), makes communication and doing business a breeze - no need for a bunch of unnecessary commutes or paying for extra gas, and the list goes on and on and on and on............. what's not to love??
If "the internet" is an addiction............. then i'll be an "addict" for life, it just adds THAT much value to my life - quite simply, the internet makes my life better. I first discovered/experienced the internet at age 8 and i have been on it ever since. Much love
![Biggthumpup](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/biggthumpup.gif)
You sound like my old man....he used to tell me and my brother that he had to trudge 10 miles back and forth to school in the dead of winter or he would take his wagon into town to help my grandmother with the weekly shopping. Guess what, I was more than happy to drive to school when I was a teenager and nothing beats an online shop! Embrace the change trachman, there's no going back.
![Biglaugh](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by Oldselfagain
You sound like my old man....he used to tell me and my brother that he had to trudge 10 miles back and forth to school in the dead of winter or he would take his wagon into town to help my grandmother with the weekly shopping. Guess what, I was more than happy to drive to school when I was a teenager and nothing beats an online shop! Embrace the change trachman, there's no going back.
A couple or three thoughts. First, love this thread, haennie. It fascinates me that there is study about this - and I'm getting a hint that you may be involved with that.
I used to work in a large casino. Pre-cell phones and pre-everybody-has-a-PC. In the slots department, much thought and technology was put into hooking people into staying in their chairs. The spinning wheels (hypnotic) the little dings and musical sounds, the lights and hypnotic flashing...interesting and entertaining: addictive. The multi different types of slot machines. One had to put a coin physically into the machine and pull a handle. It was repetitive and addictive. "How fast can I do this?" At that time they had metal coin catchers so that when you won the coins dropped and made a lot of noise, bells played "Ding!! Ding!! Ding!! Ding!!" and it was exciting. If they won a significant amount of money, an attendant would come over, pay them in bills and make a fuss over them. Lots of other people came to see. What a victory, such attention. Like there was some accomplishment. I don't know how many times I would see people sit on a chair for at least the entire eight hours of my shift and play slot machines. In their own world. Getting stimulation auditorily (apparently not a word) and visually. Absolutely hooked and addicted. If they ran out of coins to plop into the thing, it was a National Emergency. They didn't eat, but they had their free drinks. Every now and then someone would fall off their chair - either passed out or dead. Seriously. No need for human interaction. That was my first intro to human addiction and machines.
We've hit on so many of the thoughts I have about the computer.
I did go to AA meetings. For the three years before I stopped drinking I wasn't working and I live alone. All my interaction was with grocery store or restaurant people or online forums or my neighbors. When I did go to an AA meeting it was really hard for me to stay focused on the people speaking. My mind was all over the place. Yes, partly due to coming off several years of alcohol, but also because I had to follow along with real humans saying important stuff about their inner life. It was impossible for me to stay after and chat, impossible for me to speak in the meeting (still really hard). They wanted to hug me way too much. I was starved for human touch and yet it freaked me out. I couldn't control it. I couldn't speak and then have people just let it be - they wanted to give me input. That is what I had escaped. Input from people who really were annoying and who had the potential to hurt me. So there I was in a roomful of sick people. Depressed people. Sad and scared people. 90 meetings in 90 days. I did it, but in hindsight would not have done it. It was painful and unnerving. I would have been better suited to a long trip.
Meetings are hard. As an introvert, I don't like to share my inner story with a lot of people. I don't understand the whole, "share your story" thing. I guess it works for people - I just don't get it. I guess it's about identification for the newcomer, but what I felt was serious discomfort at hearing other peoples' tragedies. It did serve to make me grateful for what I hadn't experienced yet, but it didn't make me want to share what I had experienced. Still not there yet. I don't have a problem talking about it here, though, because I know whatever feedback I get I can take or leave. Not so in AA meetings.
And now I've written another novel. oops.
I used to work in a large casino. Pre-cell phones and pre-everybody-has-a-PC. In the slots department, much thought and technology was put into hooking people into staying in their chairs. The spinning wheels (hypnotic) the little dings and musical sounds, the lights and hypnotic flashing...interesting and entertaining: addictive. The multi different types of slot machines. One had to put a coin physically into the machine and pull a handle. It was repetitive and addictive. "How fast can I do this?" At that time they had metal coin catchers so that when you won the coins dropped and made a lot of noise, bells played "Ding!! Ding!! Ding!! Ding!!" and it was exciting. If they won a significant amount of money, an attendant would come over, pay them in bills and make a fuss over them. Lots of other people came to see. What a victory, such attention. Like there was some accomplishment. I don't know how many times I would see people sit on a chair for at least the entire eight hours of my shift and play slot machines. In their own world. Getting stimulation auditorily (apparently not a word) and visually. Absolutely hooked and addicted. If they ran out of coins to plop into the thing, it was a National Emergency. They didn't eat, but they had their free drinks. Every now and then someone would fall off their chair - either passed out or dead. Seriously. No need for human interaction. That was my first intro to human addiction and machines.
We've hit on so many of the thoughts I have about the computer.
I did go to AA meetings. For the three years before I stopped drinking I wasn't working and I live alone. All my interaction was with grocery store or restaurant people or online forums or my neighbors. When I did go to an AA meeting it was really hard for me to stay focused on the people speaking. My mind was all over the place. Yes, partly due to coming off several years of alcohol, but also because I had to follow along with real humans saying important stuff about their inner life. It was impossible for me to stay after and chat, impossible for me to speak in the meeting (still really hard). They wanted to hug me way too much. I was starved for human touch and yet it freaked me out. I couldn't control it. I couldn't speak and then have people just let it be - they wanted to give me input. That is what I had escaped. Input from people who really were annoying and who had the potential to hurt me. So there I was in a roomful of sick people. Depressed people. Sad and scared people. 90 meetings in 90 days. I did it, but in hindsight would not have done it. It was painful and unnerving. I would have been better suited to a long trip.
Meetings are hard. As an introvert, I don't like to share my inner story with a lot of people. I don't understand the whole, "share your story" thing. I guess it works for people - I just don't get it. I guess it's about identification for the newcomer, but what I felt was serious discomfort at hearing other peoples' tragedies. It did serve to make me grateful for what I hadn't experienced yet, but it didn't make me want to share what I had experienced. Still not there yet. I don't have a problem talking about it here, though, because I know whatever feedback I get I can take or leave. Not so in AA meetings.
And now I've written another novel. oops.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
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cabo, I've even expanded my control issues to the TV. No more cable, no more broadcast TV, only Netflix. ![](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/icon_rofl.gif)
And it's so true, who actually gets email then shuts it off? Even worse, I go to the interwebz to research some"thing" and then two hours later can't remember why I went to the interwebz, and still haven't looked it up. I have to write it down before I log on.
![](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/icon_rofl.gif)
And it's so true, who actually gets email then shuts it off? Even worse, I go to the interwebz to research some"thing" and then two hours later can't remember why I went to the interwebz, and still haven't looked it up. I have to write it down before I log on.
Well I think I can safely say we're blessed to have someone with your capabilities among us here on SR.....after all you've "programmed computers in the 80's before you went and got a degree in information systems", you "own the room" in meetings with your colleagues, and as you've mentioned above you've "owned online and brick-and-mortar shops". I could not be more honored to share this little corner of the interweb with you. Thank you ![Wink](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif)
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