lovesymphony

I had a long thing written out regarding my unhealthy relationship with my mom but it kept getting longer and longer and basically I just wonder how to put up with a highly toxic, hyper-clingy, emotionally needy, lonely, perpetually negative, controlling mother who wants to be my best friend? She's my mom so I feel obligation to keep a relationship with her, or I probably wouldn't.
I used to drink the pain of her presence away or just endure. Because of alcoholism, depression, and financial problems, I have to live with her again, much to her satisfaction. She never wanted me to grow up, move out and leave her and now told me she hopes I never do again..I'm in my 30s.

She follows me around the house sometimes, asking question after question so I'll have to respond, watches all I do and crumples up if I show any irritation with her about anything. Sometimes she acts attacked when I haven't done anything. I don't really like being around her usually or feel we have much in common and her clinginess year after year, my entire life, has only pushed me away further.
Any advice? She's moping right now because I didn't talk to her enough today...Even though we hung out a lot yesterday....grrr It's always been like this whether I live here or not. She's always unhappy because I dont give her enough attention.. I want this cat and mouse game to end.

biminiblue

oooooh. Sounds painful.

I never went back home once I moved out when I was 18. Sometimes it wasn't easy and I was often broke between paychecks, but it all worked out.