Just Starting Out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ma
Posts: 46
Just Starting Out
Hi, I decided 5 days ago I was going to stop drinking. I was drinking 2-3 glasses of wine every night. The nights I only had 2 glasses I would have to time it just right so I was going to bed or it was hard to control adding more glasses. Never mind if there was an event that didn't involve alcohol. I would want it to be over so I could get home and "relax" before bed. I hated the fact that it controlled/controls me. This isn't the first time I have tried this...I decided I would cut back, only drink on weekends, just drink one kind of alcohol or another, but I always ended back drinking multiple glasses of wine a night. 8 months ago my husband decided to stop drinking. He never pressured me or even asked me to stop, however, it wasn't as "easy" anymore. I also took the step to tell him I thought I had a problem. That made it real and is making me accountable now, which scares me. I'm doing ok. But I actually feel really angry that I won't be able hang out with friends/family and have a glass, that I just can't control it, or that I even have to deal with it. I hate to come across like a spoiled child, I'm not really like that. I am feeling depressed, which I have read it normal. It's a little scary how long the depressed feeling may last. That alone could send you back. Sorry this is so long! It does feel really good to be able to purge all of this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
congratulations on making a choice to live a happier, richer, more fulfilling and wonderful life than you can even imagine right now.
welcome.
you can do this, we're here to help.
and, thank you for helping ME stay sober today by sharing your story.
welcome.
you can do this, we're here to help.
and, thank you for helping ME stay sober today by sharing your story.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum 21reeves!! 
It can be a scary thing changing your lifestyle all because we aren't "normal" drinkers, there will be changes, but some of those are going to be good changes, so focus on those too rather than just the negatives.
For me dealing with the 1st drink and accepting that the 1st drink would lead to a binge each and every time was the key to getting Sober!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
It can be a scary thing changing your lifestyle all because we aren't "normal" drinkers, there will be changes, but some of those are going to be good changes, so focus on those too rather than just the negatives.
For me dealing with the 1st drink and accepting that the 1st drink would lead to a binge each and every time was the key to getting Sober!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations with having the insight about can be a very serious problem the longer it’s not addressed. If you’re an alcoholic it is progressive and will only get worse if consuming it is continued. Now is a greater time to address it.
BE WELL
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
Hey 21, congrats on finding the litmus test I wish I'd taken far earlier myself. People talk a lot about quantity and frequency and that's a huge, important component, but the more important measure is far simpler: if you're wondering if drinking is a problem for you, just try quitting. If it's hard, then drinking is probably a problem for you. And it WILL get worse over time.
And for what it's worth I'm not hearing you as spoiled at all. I understand your anger completely. It never seemed "fair" to me that I had to give up doing something I enjoyed so much and something that everybody else seemed to be able to keep on enjoying. It still doesn't some days.
But it sounds like you're catching this early. That's an incredible opportunity for you.
(I also get that it also perhaps makes things even more difficult for you in some ways. You can get a good push from rock bottom. Changing directions and swimming back up before you get there feels harder. On the other hand you're sooo much closer to the surface. . .)
Great to see you here. You're making good choices and I'm wishing you the very best.
And for what it's worth I'm not hearing you as spoiled at all. I understand your anger completely. It never seemed "fair" to me that I had to give up doing something I enjoyed so much and something that everybody else seemed to be able to keep on enjoying. It still doesn't some days.
But it sounds like you're catching this early. That's an incredible opportunity for you.
(I also get that it also perhaps makes things even more difficult for you in some ways. You can get a good push from rock bottom. Changing directions and swimming back up before you get there feels harder. On the other hand you're sooo much closer to the surface. . .)
Great to see you here. You're making good choices and I'm wishing you the very best.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Letting go of alcohol involves a grieving process. You already described your feelings of anger, bargaining, denial, and depression. Cycling through these emotions continues until acceptance.
Well done. You are now working toward acceptance.
You can Google "Five stages of grief". Kübler-Ross wrote quite a lot about this.
I went through it too. The loss of alcohol was the loss of a way of living for me, the loss of a friend in good times and bad.
A friend that wants nothing more than to kill me.
Well done. You are now working toward acceptance.
You can Google "Five stages of grief". Kübler-Ross wrote quite a lot about this.
I went through it too. The loss of alcohol was the loss of a way of living for me, the loss of a friend in good times and bad.
A friend that wants nothing more than to kill me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
