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Figuring out my Triggers

Old 06-18-2014, 03:30 PM
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Figuring out my Triggers

Random thought about triggers:

So I'm a little surprised about my "triggers" so far:

Surprisingly, I've learned that my drive home from work is a big one...b/c that's when I usually stopped to get my drinks for the night. I never stocked up b/c I honestly would drink everything I bought until I passed out, but that meant I stopped every day. Just getting in my car after work makes me have to repeat to myself that I AM sober today and I plan to stay that way when I go to bed. I've learned to arm myself with a sparkling water for my ride home.

I thought going out to a restaurant would be a huge trigger b/c I've always had a drink with dinner. But actually, in the last week, I've been going to dinner almost every night either with a friend or by myself with a book, and I've been surprised that I actually ENJOY my food and time to relax A LOT. I'm totally ok with my soda water with dinner.

Cooking dinner is a huge trigger for me...whoa. So far, just the thought of it panics me. I loved cooking dinner with a glass of wine and even boiling a pot of water the other day had me reaching for my glass. So I'm going to listen to myself for a few days and try my best to manage it.

So basically what I'm saying is...I get to eat out for a bit, and I don't have to cook and clean. Sounds good.
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Old 06-18-2014, 03:42 PM
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Driving home was a big one for me too, it was inbuilt into my daily routine - leave work, stop at liquor store, drive home, commence drinking . . . So I needed to break that cycle somehow, but for the first few weeks , I would almost have a panic attack driving past without stopping, as when i was drinking my biggest stress was not having enough to drink at home, what if I run out? . . . your sparkling water is a great idea, I never really changed my drive home other than obviously not stopping, but I do crank up my music a bit louder and chew a lot more gum when driving!!

The cooking thing was also one of mine, I'd arrive home and start drinking, and drink large amounts whilst I'd continue to cook, now upon arriving home I go for a long walk in the fresh air, to clear my head, because dealing with the stress from work straight away was what I liked to numb away at the end of the day, now when I come back from my walk, my head is cleared and a cup of tea will do nicely when in the kitchen.

Sounds like you're on top of your triggers Lola, great job!!
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Old 06-18-2014, 03:45 PM
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whatever it takes, Lola

D
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:00 PM
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are they really triggers or just old habits you don't do anymore
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:00 PM
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Same with the cooking for me! That was a big one. Now I rarely ever think of wine while cooking!

It's good to pinpoint your triggers. You'll be better prepared to get over that hump now.
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by pdoc View Post
are they really triggers or just old habits you don't do anymore
Hmm..not sure. What's the difference? ..and I'm not being argumentative, I genuinely want to know. Because until recently, I always thought of my over-excess drinking as just a "bad habit".
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:04 PM
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Good for you! Planing ahead is key when you know you're going to face an old trigger...I use to always drink beer when camping and now we take 'craft rootbeers' delicious and I get to wake-up and remember the night before : )
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by pdoc View Post
are they really triggers or just old habits you don't do anymore
For me, habits and triggers were almost the same thing, both lead me to continue drinking, both had the same result, I had a certain pattern to life, bad habits I had followed for years, and then when I tried to quit drinking I couldn't stop falling into the same old habits.

So in order to achieve Sobriety I needed to tackle and break those habits, and learn some new ones to truly revolutionise my lifestyle, into one that no longer facilitated alcohol!!
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Old 06-18-2014, 04:41 PM
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Hi Lola,

I think planning is the way to go. I chose to shop at different stores than I was used to and avoided some completely. Driving home a different route could also help. Since early evening was my hardest time, I headed outside after supper and walked and walked. It all helped, especially in the early days when you're trying to break old habits.
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Old 06-18-2014, 05:55 PM
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I know how you feel. I associated/matched up alcohol to pretty much very task I did around the house, cooking, cleaning, grilling, watching TV, working in the yard, if it was after work I drank, on the weekends it was anywhere between 2-4 pm to start.

It is hard but I am determined to break the chain, and try to make new ones. One day at a time.
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Old 06-18-2014, 10:37 PM
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For me triggers are all around me, one of the biggest is my couch lol that's where I sat and drank and used everyday. Then there is the supermarket which all have bottle shops attached etc etc etc even one of the meetings I attend is 10m from where I used to score drugs.

So for me the word trigger in itself is a negative word with certain connotations so I don't use it. I just say that was the old me, laugh and carry on.

My experience with people who are paranoid about triggers and react by avoiding them at any cost often find themselves at a loss when an unforeseen trigger pops up resulting in either a panic attack or busting.

I agree to minimise chances where possible but trying to avoid all triggers is not practical and will never be achieved. So I just work on desensitising my reaction to old habits.
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Old 06-18-2014, 11:20 PM
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LIFE was my trigger. Sobriety took way... way more than not-drinking.
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Old 06-19-2014, 12:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Lola23 View Post
Cooking dinner is a huge trigger for me...whoa. So far, just the thought of it panics me. I loved cooking dinner with a glass of wine and even boiling a pot of water the other day had me reaching for my glass. So I'm going to listen to myself for a few days and try my best to manage it.
I was the same with cooking also. I even purchased a microwave so I could get in and out of the kitchen as soon as possible. And smoothies in the blender for breakfast.

It was quite some time before I could broach cooking anything for long periods of time.
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Old 06-19-2014, 01:24 AM
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I do the cooking in our house and drinking was my reward. Most nights I would be drunk by the time I served dinner. I finally realized my family knew what was going on and I just quit. I still cook and initially had nothing to drink (alcohol free) but I have found that Perrier with a lime is a good choice for me. Staying busy has been a lifesaver for me and I am enjoying my cooking again....plus I can remember what I cooked now!!
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Old 06-19-2014, 02:43 AM
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For me it was the obsession of the mind. My alcoholic life was the only normal one, and it was set up around alcohol. All my behaviour patterns, decision making processes, attitudes, were geared towards alcohol. My whole psychic make up was directed that way.

I learned that it wasn't triggers that caused me to drink. It was internal. I needed a complete change of personality, or psychic change, in order to recover. When that happened all the so called triggers, vanished.
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