What are the causes of a relapse?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Several times I thought "this time I won't let it get out of control" which turned out worse than before I quit drinking.
One time it was because I thought as long as I didn't drink alcohol I would be fine. I continued to smoke pot. I ended up at the bar or at friend's houses in order to buy the pot. Eventually someone put a beer in my hand, or placed a shot in front of me with their pleads of "come on, have a drink with us". After having abstained from alcohol for about 6 months I ended up drinking again and that relapse lasted for 2 years.
Another time I relapsed because I thought my whole life was falling apart and the pain of living, both emotionally and physically, was worse than the pain and chaos of being a drunk. I was contemplating suicide. I had a plan for it, but I was always too drunk to follow through with it.
Not believing that I was addicted.
Not believing that I was incapable of stopping once I started.
Not believing that living sober was worth it.
Not believing that drinking was killing me.
One time it was because I thought as long as I didn't drink alcohol I would be fine. I continued to smoke pot. I ended up at the bar or at friend's houses in order to buy the pot. Eventually someone put a beer in my hand, or placed a shot in front of me with their pleads of "come on, have a drink with us". After having abstained from alcohol for about 6 months I ended up drinking again and that relapse lasted for 2 years.
Another time I relapsed because I thought my whole life was falling apart and the pain of living, both emotionally and physically, was worse than the pain and chaos of being a drunk. I was contemplating suicide. I had a plan for it, but I was always too drunk to follow through with it.
Not believing that I was addicted.
Not believing that I was incapable of stopping once I started.
Not believing that living sober was worth it.
Not believing that drinking was killing me.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by northof49 
I wanted to drink more than I wanted to remain sober.
Sobriety requires complete honesty with one's self and it has to be unconditional.
You can line up and work any recovery program, you can make a list of things to do when the AV comes calling. You can put every measure in place that's available to fight the fight. If the quoted area above is present and the requirements that I stated are absent nothing else will matter. You will use.
I am not without compassion nor am I uncaring. However, every single relapse post that I've read has an excuse somewhere within. Doesn't matter it it's earth shattering or even if the person says "I know that this is not an excuse but........".
Remove the choice and accept that you can't drink, under any circumstance. Then, use your recovery program of choice and list to make living bearable until the day arrives where you finally realize the addiction for what it is. A lying, soul sucking vortex that will do anything to keep you in its grip.
That day does come but you have to do that work to get there. When you do get there you're going to live and experience a life that you never imagined could be. Recovery then becomes a gift and a blessing and is no longer a chore.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I wanted to add one more thing. The more realistic you are with yourself about this process the better off you'll be. Abstinence is not happy happy joy joy bluebirds singing and flying out of your butt in the beginning. You'll have self esteem highs that you're doing something good but there are going to be some real pissy lows that you can't have what you want. You need to prepare for those times and realize you will lie to yourself and almost believe it.
That's where unconditional comes in. If no lie and no excuse is plausible you will pass those lows much easier and faster because no mind game is going to work. You get over it much more quickly.
That's where unconditional comes in. If no lie and no excuse is plausible you will pass those lows much easier and faster because no mind game is going to work. You get over it much more quickly.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
I can't say it any better than that.
Sobriety requires complete honesty with one's self and it has to be unconditional.
You can line up and work any recovery program, you can make a list of things to do when the AV comes calling. You can put every measure in place that's available to fight the fight. If the quoted area above is present and the requirements that I stated are absent nothing else will matter. You will use.
I am not without compassion nor am I uncaring. However, every single relapse post that I've read has an excuse somewhere within. Doesn't matter it it's earth shattering or even if the person says "I know that this is not an excuse but........".
Remove the choice and accept that you can't drink, under any circumstance. Then, use your recovery program of choice and list to make living bearable until the day arrives where you finally realize the addiction for what it is. A lying, soul sucking vortex that will do anything to keep you in its grip.
That day does come but you have to do that work to get there. When you do get there you're going to live and experience a life that you never imagined could be. Recovery then becomes a gift and a blessing and is no longer a chore.
Sobriety requires complete honesty with one's self and it has to be unconditional.
You can line up and work any recovery program, you can make a list of things to do when the AV comes calling. You can put every measure in place that's available to fight the fight. If the quoted area above is present and the requirements that I stated are absent nothing else will matter. You will use.
I am not without compassion nor am I uncaring. However, every single relapse post that I've read has an excuse somewhere within. Doesn't matter it it's earth shattering or even if the person says "I know that this is not an excuse but........".
Remove the choice and accept that you can't drink, under any circumstance. Then, use your recovery program of choice and list to make living bearable until the day arrives where you finally realize the addiction for what it is. A lying, soul sucking vortex that will do anything to keep you in its grip.
That day does come but you have to do that work to get there. When you do get there you're going to live and experience a life that you never imagined could be. Recovery then becomes a gift and a blessing and is no longer a chore.
Until I got totally honest with myself about MY drinking and accepted the fact that I could not drink in safety I only relapsed time after time.
Once the drinking ceased to be a daily desire the work began on ridding the reasons of my drinking. Hate it or not guys, it’s our overwhelming feelings that were the major contributers.
BE WELL
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