Chilledice

Day 25 checking in, feel mentally drained from it all but oh well im sober!


Have a good day folks!

MythOfSisyphus

You're creeping up on a month Chilledice! That's pretty awesome. What are some of the things that have helped you stay sober? Are you getting into some new things to occupy your time.

Congrats! You're really doing well.

Chilledice

To be honest all I have done is grit my teeth and white knuckle it this whole time, I made a thread yesterday about how I might drink after the month is up. Goona seek outside help to keep me sober because I don't wanna throw away sobriety but at the same time I don't want sobriety, I know that makes zero sense.


Well for TODAY I am sober!

jezza

Hi Chilledice

Well done on 25 days!!! Awesome... I'm only on day 4 AGAIN!!! Not sure I can say this but it's not really medical advice & sure somebody will slap my wrists if it is but what i find helps me is loads of supplements are you taking any at the moment?? Plenty of vitamins & minerals, L-Glutamine is excellent for cravings. Just a thought..

Nuudawn

Hmmmm...congrats... I think.
Love the idea about getting outside help.
Although my current sobriety is far from sunshine and lollipops..it's not a living hell.
Sobriety is a gift...a positive thing...not a penance.
But that is completely dictated by perspective.
It's not easy..
But isn't it better than where you were?

Chilledice

Mine doesn't seem like a positive thing, every day I deal with obsessive thoughts about alcohol, my past, my trauma, my heartache etc Not sure I can carry on with sobriety like this.

In some ways NO it is not better than where I was, atleast I could numb my pain before!

Anyways il just focus on today for now. Wanna reach the 30 day point atleast!

Nuudawn

I'm so very sorry to hear that Chill. It sounds like you have some healing to do. All this painful crap you are dealing with is the messenger. Pain tells the body something is wrong and should be addressed.
Numbing it does not change anything...and is only temporary. Pain killers don't heal the pain..know what I mean?

You said your were going to look for outside help? Recovery group? Counselling perhaps?

Chilledice

Its emotional pain for me, the detox was rough but I made it through. I think I need some counselling because my past is truly destroying my future! And I have also destroyed a lot of things in my life with the bottle! Ahhhh I dunno, if I think too deep about things I just crave booze to get me out of it!

Notimetoloose

Chill, Congratulations 25 days...there is an expression that we plan for a relapse...we can also plan for recovery..have you looked at RR or AVRT in the secular section of this site?
It helped me.
The first month can be tough as we change our behaviours and address issues that are painful....Thinking about what has been is not a bad thing, just not now, newly sober.
Our emotions are everywhere and our attention need to be towards recovery. Try to distance yourself from the emotional stuff for a while, give your time.

Chilledice

That's just it tho I cant distance myself from the emotional pain, it haunts me day in and day out! The only good thing that has come out of sobriety is that im sleeping better and I am looking better!

Im thinking about doing the AVRT thing!

Notimetoloose

We know that drinking will not give any answers, however, its effectiveness for a brief moment to anesthetize us will only return our feelings or awareness with a vengeance. Usually with a chunk of worthlessness.

I really do get the brutal emotional pain...it does get better or/and we get better.

I am so happy that you are sleeping well, natural sleep is the best.

PurpleKnight

Keep it going Chilledice!! 25 Days is fantastic!!

countrysidegirl

You say trauma haunts you i have demons from my sexual abuse as a child and various other traumas I'm now day 5 again and finally have learnt that the emotional pain is always there whether we drink or not alcohol for me opens Pandora box and makes the flash backs come on with a vengeance then the next day i cant remember....

Seeking professional counciling with a psychologist may be the best way forward for you...that and exercise to help with anger....anger can also overwhelm you and be dangerous i would suggest seeking help as well as coming on here
Well done for day 25
Charlotte

SoberLeigh

Welcome to Day 25, Chilled. Glad to hear that you are considering outside help.

Don't let the past dictate your future; you are young - so much future ahead of you.

neferkamichael

Chilledice, 25 days is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Your AV is doing everything it can to make you start using again, please be nice to yourself. Rootin for ya.

Nuudawn

How are you today Chill?

Chilledice

I know this sounds childish but playing the xbox360 to take my mind off drinking!

PurpleKnight

Not at all, my first month I spent from the moment I came in from work until bedtime (the time I usually spent drinking) watching box sets and playing online games, i didn't have the energy for anything else, after a while that changed but at that time it kept me Sober!!

You gotta do what you gotta do to get through it!! In time things will get better!!

Hevyn

Great news Chilled! 25 days is something to celebrate. Non-alcoholically of course. Proud of you!

Nuudawn

Not childish at all. I just read like two days ago that playing a video game (the example they gave was Tetris I believe) was an excellent way to combat cravings as it takes your mind out of the ability to form mental images that can stimulate cravings.