AugustWest11

Back at it :-( my pain has gotten bad; so I thought I could drink to at least sleep more then 2-3 hrs of we all know how that worked :-\ I strayed from "my plan" I know I need outside help; just need to find it. Not sure why I'm posting; except to say I'm actually sorry I let myself down.

10 days in & starting to taper; it's my only choice now . I burned too many bridges.

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PurpleKnight

Welcome back!! . . . no one here is in the business of judging, many of us have slipped, took me a whole year of relapsing, so don't beat yourself up too much over it.

We're all here for you!!

HeadLump

Welcome back, August Still here to support you

UnixBer

Hi AW, nice to see you once again on SR.
Can you tell any wisdom as to what caused your previous drinking? Most of us here have been through that rollercoaster of committing to sobriety and relapsing multiple times. What helped me was SR and the decision that whatever comes about, this is final.

Good luck with the taper and sobriety.

ScottFromWI

There are no bridges to burn here AW, welcome back. And despite what you think, tapering is not your only option. It's actually a pretty poor option as it rarely works - that's not anything against you specifically but it's pretty well documented that tapering rarely works for anyone.

Rather than beating around the bush, how about coming up with a list of possible options you could choose from to get help? You've always been able to share with use here - let us help you find a solution to get back on track.

Hevyn

Always good to see you AW. I'm sorry for the circumstances.

Anna

Glad to see you back, AW!

I agree with Scott. Tapering is a poor option. You know how hard it is to manage tapering and there are other options out there. We're here to help.

AugustWest11

Thank you all. Tapering has to be my only decision b\c I can not do medical help. I've been to the er 5 times already for my back :-( they have already told me I can't keep coming back.

My anxiety coupled w\ withdrawal is too much to deal with. I can not go to any family b\c of bridges burned. I have no friends here. Finding a doctor here has been eye opening. None are willing to see me in MD because I have no insurance. I have cash but b\c of my meds, they shy away from dealing with me.

I've been in contact w\ out patient place for alcohol; but that doesn't solve the pain & anxiety. Leaving mom's house just to get booze causes an attack. In the store I can barely sign for it :-(

Maybe I am making it harder on myself; but anxiety has gotten a fierce hold on me.. Not to mention the pain has me crying every day. I'm not looking for a pity party; just trying to get this out.

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Thepatman

Let it out, let it all out. We are here to support you.

I

ScottFromWI

You could go to a different hospital, or just be brutally honest with them and tell them you are there because you need to detox from alcohol. They can't turn you away if you have a legitimate need. They might say that you can't keep coming back, but you can if you need to.

If all else fails you could contact the Salvation Army. They offer no-cost detox. There are also many detox facilities in boston, here's a link to several dozen phone numbers you could call. Ask about free or reduced rate, many offer it
Detox Centers | South Boston Association of Non Profits

You could always call the local AA hotline. And before you reject this idea, you don't need to go to AA meetings to take advantage of the help AA offers. They hav 24 hour hotlines that are there to help people who want to quit drinking find help - and while they will certainly suggest AA, they are in the know of many detox centers and treatment facilities locally to help refer you.

You have many options AW - you have to reach out and use them.

AugustWest11

Thanx Scott but haven't been in Boston for 8 months. The nature of my situation scares doctors away. Too many junkies out there. I understand b\c of malpractice & all. But my coma funked me up more then they or I realized. But again ty

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ScottFromWI

All of the things I listed above are options no matter where you live. We've been down this road many time before though where you are presented with many, many options and you find a reason why each will not work or why you will not do them.

I hope you find the strength to get the help you so desperately need some day, I truly do.

Dee74

Hi Dennis

I say this with care - but, for your own good, you really need to stop making excuses why you can't do stuff.

If drinking is the best plan you can come up with yourself, and tapering is the best plan you can come up with to solve that problem?...

You need help, man.

There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?

http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf
2-1-1 Call Center Search

D

AugustWest11

Thanx guys .. Been 12 hours give or take since my last drink. No shakes but the anxiety is killing me. Ironic thing is that also will keep me drinking. The stores near me don't open for 3 hours & by then I will be too much a wreck to walk.

I looked into the links Dee; Thanx.

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