Hopeless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 48
Hopeless
Ive been a heavy drinker for years and years. Stopped, started again etc etc. Ive always held down my job, thought that my relationships held together,I was functioning. Now im falling apart. My drinking is gradually spiraling into a dark place, I have been drinking earlier and earlier. One day last week I started at 7 in the morning, went to work drank all day and still functioned, I have no idea how. A few weeks ago I was at dinner with my wife and daughter and told them I had a drink problem, my wife has known for years and my daughter was not surprised. Last night I drank a bottle of wine and half a bottle of whiskey. This morning as always I feel like Crap.
Pulled over on the way to work, utterly bemused by my life, I dont want to drink but cant seem to stop. As I sat there I thought about my drinking and that I could not imagine my life without it, what life, the way I am living my life is not living its existing, covering up, lying, slowly killing myself, what a waste.
I just need to stop for good and reclaim my life, thanks for reading.
Pulled over on the way to work, utterly bemused by my life, I dont want to drink but cant seem to stop. As I sat there I thought about my drinking and that I could not imagine my life without it, what life, the way I am living my life is not living its existing, covering up, lying, slowly killing myself, what a waste.
I just need to stop for good and reclaim my life, thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Welcome Grok! You may not know it but your post may be the first step you take to freeing yourself from an awful and terrible trap! Not being able to imagine life without alcohol is a result of your addiction, nothing else. Alcohol will convince you it is your friend and that you can't manage without it, all the while slowly poisoning you to death and making your life hell as it does so. It is an awful substance once it gets a hold.
The amazingly good news is that thousands of people to stop and free themselves from the trap! You are not alone!
There are lots of ways to do it and people will no doubt suggest them here. Personally I use AA and it is working for me.
Why not look AA up on-line of a local phone book and chat to someone about your drinking - every area has a link number. It may feel like a hard thing to do, but you will find a helpful and willing volunteer at the other end of the line who has been through the very same thing themselves!
You can beat this!
The amazingly good news is that thousands of people to stop and free themselves from the trap! You are not alone!
There are lots of ways to do it and people will no doubt suggest them here. Personally I use AA and it is working for me.
Why not look AA up on-line of a local phone book and chat to someone about your drinking - every area has a link number. It may feel like a hard thing to do, but you will find a helpful and willing volunteer at the other end of the line who has been through the very same thing themselves!
You can beat this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
HI Grok and welcome, It is great your are posting and here. Keep posting and reading. You will be surprised how different you will feel when you get a couple of weeks sober.
Are you going to talk to your doctor about your plans to quit drinking and reclaiming your life?
Are you going to talk to your doctor about your plans to quit drinking and reclaiming your life?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Welcoem Grok 
I think many of us found it hard to imagine life without drinking but it really is possible
There's a ton of support understanding - and hope - here
I'm really glad you found us
D
I think many of us found it hard to imagine life without drinking but it really is possible
There's a ton of support understanding - and hope - here
I'm really glad you found us
D
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Welcome, Grock! I have good news for you. Many people have found themselves in your same position and have recovered and found a way of life where they can live a life full of purpose. Do you feel that you have the capacity to be honest? Are you willing to be willing?
I was a pretty terrible drunk. I drank round the clock. I did everything I could to look okay on the outside but I was a mess and eventually, my black, twisted illness inside took over my life to the point that I lost days, even weeks of memories. I figured I was dead and honestly, I already was.
I've met a lot of sober alcoholics here and in AA that have stories similar to yours and mine. We're really quite similar when you strip away the details. You can get sober like so many of us have. Welcome and stick around!
I was a pretty terrible drunk. I drank round the clock. I did everything I could to look okay on the outside but I was a mess and eventually, my black, twisted illness inside took over my life to the point that I lost days, even weeks of memories. I figured I was dead and honestly, I already was.
I've met a lot of sober alcoholics here and in AA that have stories similar to yours and mine. We're really quite similar when you strip away the details. You can get sober like so many of us have. Welcome and stick around!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by Grok 
Ive been a heavy drinker for years and years. Stopped, started again etc etc. Ive always held down my job, thought that my relationships held together,I was functioning. Now im falling apart. My drinking is gradually spiraling into a dark place, I have been drinking earlier and earlier. One day last week I started at 7 in the morning, went to work drank all day and still functioned, I have no idea how. A few weeks ago I was at dinner with my wife and daughter and told them I had a drink problem, my wife has known for years and my daughter was not surprised. Last night I drank a bottle of wine and half a bottle of whiskey. This morning as always I feel like Crap.
Pulled over on the way to work, utterly bemused by my life, I dont want to drink but cant seem to stop. As I sat there I thought about my drinking and that I could not imagine my life without it, what life, the way I am living my life is not living its existing, covering up, lying, slowly killing myself, what a waste.
I just need to stop for good and reclaim my life, thanks for reading.
Pulled over on the way to work, utterly bemused by my life, I dont want to drink but cant seem to stop. As I sat there I thought about my drinking and that I could not imagine my life without it, what life, the way I am living my life is not living its existing, covering up, lying, slowly killing myself, what a waste.
I just need to stop for good and reclaim my life, thanks for reading.
I too couldnt imagine my life without drink, it seemed the most impossible thing to get by, the imaginary mountain I had to climb. Turns out even tho there are difficult days (I'm only 23 days sober) life is a lot better so far without it.
I feel Leigh (me) slowly creeping back, Just being able to feel - laughing, feeling sad, happy, low - some feelings not the greatest but all mine and not because I'm drunk or hungover.
Stick here, its been my saviour (along with AA) and because I want it.
Wishing you well.
One day at a time.
L x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Grok
What courage it takes to admit that we have a problem and post as you have done.
A life without alcohol is not only possible but infinitely better, more rewarding and potentially a lot longer than the hard daily slog that is the prison of the problem drinker.
In the end i had come to hate the life that i was leading with all of it's pain and desperation and deceit.
You have taken the first step to freedom by facing up your problem and reaching out..
Read here about how many of us did the same and are now living sober with hope, self respect and each other in our lives.
Life without alcohol is REAL life and tastes so much sweeter.
And a bit of sour we can deal with...
Well done.
G
What courage it takes to admit that we have a problem and post as you have done.
A life without alcohol is not only possible but infinitely better, more rewarding and potentially a lot longer than the hard daily slog that is the prison of the problem drinker.
In the end i had come to hate the life that i was leading with all of it's pain and desperation and deceit.
You have taken the first step to freedom by facing up your problem and reaching out..
Read here about how many of us did the same and are now living sober with hope, self respect and each other in our lives.
Life without alcohol is REAL life and tastes so much sweeter.
And a bit of sour we can deal with...
Well done.
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 48
Thanks, I went to my doctor for help, so he gave me valium (diazopan) to help me quit, that seemed swapping one addiction for potentially another, so I threw them away and carried on drinking, not much help. However had a letter from him last week asking me to come in for some routine blood tests so maybe he was listening after all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
The Valium will have been prescribed to help with the symptoms of withdrawal. Did he not discuss the process with you?
Some people do find it harder to stop on their own. You might want to consider the sort of support AA provides. Much info on line including local phone contacts and meetings.
Some people do find it harder to stop on their own. You might want to consider the sort of support AA provides. Much info on line including local phone contacts and meetings.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Grok...
welcome to SR. You're amongst friends. Friends who 'get it'.... we really do.
You took a strong and powerful step coming here and typing those words. Going to your doctor was another. You're making the right moves.
I agree with some of the others who have suggested AA. Having real face-to-face support, hearing others' stories, getting some good energy in a group setting have all been helpful to me in getting off the mad carousel.
You don't have to keep up this empty, hollow 'life'. On the other side of the chasm you fear (that of the journey across to sobriety) is an ACTUAL life that is richer than you can imagine. And the crossing isn't nearly as scary as that voice of booze in your head is telling you.
Let's make today a sober day.
Talk to you soon.
welcome to SR. You're amongst friends. Friends who 'get it'.... we really do.
You took a strong and powerful step coming here and typing those words. Going to your doctor was another. You're making the right moves.
I agree with some of the others who have suggested AA. Having real face-to-face support, hearing others' stories, getting some good energy in a group setting have all been helpful to me in getting off the mad carousel.
You don't have to keep up this empty, hollow 'life'. On the other side of the chasm you fear (that of the journey across to sobriety) is an ACTUAL life that is richer than you can imagine. And the crossing isn't nearly as scary as that voice of booze in your head is telling you.
Let's make today a sober day.
Talk to you soon.
and congratulations on completing day 1 
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