My first post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Tampa, Fl
Posts: 8
My first post
Hi everyone. I have been on the website everyday for 27 days reading post, info etc, but today I finally decided to post.
I have always on and off been a binge drinker usually just weekends with friends, and somewhere along the way a couple years ago I started just drinking at home alone, a bottle of wine a night, which progressed to most nights of the week. A lot of craziness would happen with me when I was going out with friends: getting plastered, falling down, bruises, black outs and then of course the driving home which I usually didn't remember, shame....why did I have to get so drunk again!?! So, I guess I thought it was better staying home and drinking my wine?.
Unfortunately, I started having horrible hangovers, skin rashes, itching, sweating really bad at night when I didn't drink and in general feel ill. So 27 days ago I did what I usually did after work....took the bottle wine out of fridge, except for some reason instead of opening it...I threw it in the trash and haven't drank since.
I've since been to the doctor, had blood work last week and going for scan of liver & pancreas, as I have been having pain under right rib cage also. It amazes me how much I guess "denial" is a good word, I thought it was ok or normal to drink like this. I don't know if it was my friends, coworkers that do the same and thought hey...it's ok they do it. But, in my head, I knew it wasn't ok.
I haven't told anyone I've stopped drinking except one friend knows something is up when I refused a bloody Mary last Saturday morning with her. I have no desire to drink, and a couple times I started getting that crazy ramble in my head, "hey one drink won't hurt"....but I thought....yes it will enough!
Your posts have made a huge difference for me reading them, you all are so nice and really do help one another, and I feel like I am not alone dealing with alcohol addiction. I feel better in alot of ways because drinking was exhausting and obviously making me sick. Anyway, thanks for listening.
I have always on and off been a binge drinker usually just weekends with friends, and somewhere along the way a couple years ago I started just drinking at home alone, a bottle of wine a night, which progressed to most nights of the week. A lot of craziness would happen with me when I was going out with friends: getting plastered, falling down, bruises, black outs and then of course the driving home which I usually didn't remember, shame....why did I have to get so drunk again!?! So, I guess I thought it was better staying home and drinking my wine?.
Unfortunately, I started having horrible hangovers, skin rashes, itching, sweating really bad at night when I didn't drink and in general feel ill. So 27 days ago I did what I usually did after work....took the bottle wine out of fridge, except for some reason instead of opening it...I threw it in the trash and haven't drank since.
I've since been to the doctor, had blood work last week and going for scan of liver & pancreas, as I have been having pain under right rib cage also. It amazes me how much I guess "denial" is a good word, I thought it was ok or normal to drink like this. I don't know if it was my friends, coworkers that do the same and thought hey...it's ok they do it. But, in my head, I knew it wasn't ok.
I haven't told anyone I've stopped drinking except one friend knows something is up when I refused a bloody Mary last Saturday morning with her. I have no desire to drink, and a couple times I started getting that crazy ramble in my head, "hey one drink won't hurt"....but I thought....yes it will enough!
Your posts have made a huge difference for me reading them, you all are so nice and really do help one another, and I feel like I am not alone dealing with alcohol addiction. I feel better in alot of ways because drinking was exhausting and obviously making me sick. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Welcome heartsun. 
I'm so glad you've benefited from being here. This place saved my life. Partly because I no longer felt alone. I had no one to discuss my feelings with until I found SR.
You are very self aware - that's really going to help. I'm glad you've been to your doctor. The future looks very bright for you.
Glad to have you posting.
I'm so glad you've benefited from being here. This place saved my life. Partly because I no longer felt alone. I had no one to discuss my feelings with until I found SR.
You are very self aware - that's really going to help. I'm glad you've been to your doctor. The future looks very bright for you.
Glad to have you posting.
It's great to have you with us 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Whitehaven UK
Posts: 221
Welcome heartson
Congratulations on day 27 you have the grit and determination there to get yourselve sorted having managed the 27 days
As you know this wont be easy but you have us also on this site in recovery to help you , what i like is the honesty here we don't have a magic cure neither to we try and pretend we can help when we cant stick on here
I really hope your results from doctors come back clear, fingers crossed im unaware of how long you have drank but im sure you will be fine the liver can heal....
Try finding a support group like AA or something similiar to help you , you may find to gain proper sobriety you will need to make new friends ....those that are big drinkers themselves are not the best company...you will find out who your true friends are now....
Stick in there and well done
Charlotte x
Congratulations on day 27 you have the grit and determination there to get yourselve sorted having managed the 27 days
As you know this wont be easy but you have us also on this site in recovery to help you , what i like is the honesty here we don't have a magic cure neither to we try and pretend we can help when we cant stick on here
I really hope your results from doctors come back clear, fingers crossed im unaware of how long you have drank but im sure you will be fine the liver can heal....
Try finding a support group like AA or something similiar to help you , you may find to gain proper sobriety you will need to make new friends ....those that are big drinkers themselves are not the best company...you will find out who your true friends are now....
Stick in there and well done
Charlotte x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Welcome Heartsun. Your drinking style/pattern...and wine as DOC...sounds lots like mine.
I sobered up last year after driving home in pretty much a blackout..from the bar. I was terrified that I was going to wind up hitting and killing somebody's parent...or child and living to know about it.
I relapsed just over 4 months later (for a plethora of AV reasons) but I also rationalized that I was more of a "binger"..and that I could learn to have a glass or two with dinner for instance. And it was a slippery slope that found me back here...try...try..trying again.
I too mostly drank my wine at home...alone.
Welcome.
I sobered up last year after driving home in pretty much a blackout..from the bar. I was terrified that I was going to wind up hitting and killing somebody's parent...or child and living to know about it.
I relapsed just over 4 months later (for a plethora of AV reasons) but I also rationalized that I was more of a "binger"..and that I could learn to have a glass or two with dinner for instance. And it was a slippery slope that found me back here...try...try..trying again.
I too mostly drank my wine at home...alone.
Welcome.
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Hi Heartsun, welcome to SR, and thank you for sharing with us.
It's an amazing place to post or just browse as you see fit, there is so much wisdom here from many great and caring members who are just delighted to be of any assistance possible.
Take care.
It's an amazing place to post or just browse as you see fit, there is so much wisdom here from many great and caring members who are just delighted to be of any assistance possible.
Take care.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Great place to be...
Welcome to posting on the forum, Heartsun!
Looking back, I cannot believe how long it took me to realize that living in an alcohol saturated environment did not mean that I had to be alcohol saturated as well or that this was even OK. First there was the Aha! moment and now the Duh! phase.
Congratulations on experiencing your Aha! moment and coming here to hang out and share with us all.
Looking back, I cannot believe how long it took me to realize that living in an alcohol saturated environment did not mean that I had to be alcohol saturated as well or that this was even OK. First there was the Aha! moment and now the Duh! phase.
Congratulations on experiencing your Aha! moment
and coming here to hang out and share with us all. Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Welcome heartsun. I can totally relate to your post. My progression was similar and I also got the pain under the right ribcage. I had an abdominal ultrasound/ CT scan. Turns out I have fatty liver and my pancreas enzyme was elevated. The good news is if you stop completely for good, you can heal. The liver is resilient and heals in time. Pain from the pancreas is a warning sign and it will get worse if you don't listen. Be totally honest with your doctor so they know what to check for. I know it's embarrassing, but they have seen a lot and can only help you with the facts. I'm on day 22 myself after stopping and then trying to moderate. Moderation doesn't work! Congrats on your path to sobriety. This is a great supportive forum.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Tampa, Fl
Posts: 8
Hi hope 2014
Congrats to you on day 22! Thank u for sharing about your scan you had and the information and I am sorry about your fatty liver and increased pancreas enzymes. I am glad to hear that stopping completely that you can heal, and beneficial information for me also. I agree with the no moderation, I'm scared to try it, because I don't want to be back where I was. I may not physically feel so great yet, but at least I've got some confidence muscles growing by not drinking.
Congrats to you on day 22!
Thank u for sharing about your scan you had and the information and I am sorry about your fatty liver and increased pancreas enzymes. I am glad to hear that stopping completely that you can heal, and beneficial information for me also. I agree with the no moderation, I'm scared to try it, because I don't want to be back where I was. I may not physically feel so great yet, but at least I've got some confidence muscles growing by not drinking. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Tampa, Fl
Posts: 8
I totally understand where you are coming from. It's completely scary to black out and pray that didn't do something horrible driving home and hurt or kill someone.
It amazes me how the "mind works "when it starts rationalizing ....oh one drink won't hurt. Seriously! I used to say, ok tonight I'm only having a couple glasses of wine and would always drink the whole freaking bottle. I just don't know moderate and I just didn't like "me" and the affects my bottle of wine was giving me anymore either.
Good for you coming back here again!!!
It amazes me how the "mind works "when it starts rationalizing ....oh one drink won't hurt. Seriously! I used to say, ok tonight I'm only having a couple glasses of wine and would always drink the whole freaking bottle. I just don't know moderate and I just didn't like "me" and the affects my bottle of wine was giving me anymore either.
Good for you coming back here again!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
