MrBen

As some of you know I'm currently quitting smoking. It has been hard as nails. Perhaps I shouldn't have quit so early in my recovery to alcohol, perhaps I should have picked a week where I wasn't regularly working 14 hour days and where I had a huge weight on my mind*.

*- In case you're curious, this is because I am set to receive a dbs check (check of my criminal record) for my upcoming position as a swimming teacher. I have no criminal record to speak of as I'm aware. However I did once get a lift home from the police for being drunk on the street. I do not know if this would result in a police warning, I simply cannot remember. If it did, it will be on my record and will potentially cost me my job as I already declared myself to have no record. Due to delays, I've been waiting a month and it has been agonising.

Anyway, it has been awful. I've lost half a stone in five days, mostly from stress.

However while going for a swim today I started to realise that I had developed for the first time in my life what I would call a strong sense of character. I now identify myself as somebody who does not and will not quit.

Without addiction, or more specifically without recovery from addiction, I don't think I would have the same strength of will I have now.

Before I started drinking I was younger, better looking and about 30 pounds lighter. But I was lazy. I really never achieved anything despite clearly having academic ability. In many ways, my laziness will likely have a longer lasting impact than my alcoholism, presuming I stay sober.

Now because I've undergone real hardship (admittedly self inflicted) I've developed a work ethic and an appreciation for the good things I have, which I would have likely taken for granted for the rest of my life.

I suppose denying ourselves what we desire the most for the betterment of our lives is giving us a very tough lesson in delayed gratification. One we won't soon forget.

One thing that has gotten me down is thinking I've lost years of my life to drinking. But now I see it's not the case, overcoming alcoholism has made me the man I am today.

I don't really believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger should be used as an umbrella term (certain trauma's only make you psychologically weaker) but I feel in this instance: taking on the biggest demon in your psyche and winning, is the greatest thing you can do for the rest of your life not just for your health, but for your spirit as well.

charleesavedme

Great post, Mr. Ben! Just the words I needed this morning. Thank you!

Hope the check turns out okay and you get the job!

Dee74

Great post MrBen

I've used the 'blue light taxi' myself...it didn't leave me with any record....hopefully it will be the same for you too

D

FreeOwl

very cool post.

I often find myself thinking that maybe those of us who struggle with addiction and overcome it are actually the blessed ones; we have the priviledge of entirely leaving behind the haze and living our lives without the dulling.

So many who do not come through the challenges and struggles with alcohol that we have, continue to let it be a burden to them in many ways. Even many "normal" drinkers - I feel - wind up putting more of their lives into alcohol and alcohol-related unhealthiness than they may be aware of, from my observations.

yeah.... we are blessed.

Cathryn2001

Fabulous post--thank you for sharing your thoughts--very inspirational!

FeelingGreat

I really enjoyed reading your post, and it made a heap of sense. Your growing sense of liking who you are is inspiring.

NoAlcohol

Fantastic post, MrBen. I really don't think you would have a criminal record if you didn't know about it. To my knowledge, you would have to be charged and found guilty with a "Drunk In Public" type of thing, and you would certainly be aware of it.

Anyway, I do agree that going through the recovery process and ridding ourselves of addictions makes us a stronger person with more character. I choose to see the positive side of things, and in this case, it's rather easy. It shows we can successfully deal with adversity, and overcome it. I was fortunate enough to quit drinking before I lost everything, but certainly the slope is slippery and the hardships I endured over those 15 years of self-inflicted devastation was reason enough to quit and now, I fully believe I am a strong person. I feel that this experience has given me more compassion for people, and the desire to be kind to everyone because everyone is fighting a battle of some sort (to borrow from the famous quote). I would not change my past for the world, because it has led me to appreciate my sober life now.

MrBen

In the UK you can receive a police "warning" on the street. It pretty much means you got told off by the cops, there's no paperwork, no arrest, no conviction. But it stays on your record forever nonetheless. I once knew a guy who lost a job as a teacher because he was caught with weed when he was 13. It's a sad system really, one which does not let people put their past behind them.

PurpleKnight

Great post!!

NoAlcohol

That's strange. In Canada we have the Young Offender's Act, and I believe your criminal record is sealed from everyone - including employers or prospective employers - for everything up to your 18th birthday. It doesn't seem fair that having some weed when you're 13 would prevent you from being hired when you're an adult.. but regardless, life is not fair sometimes I suppose.

LBrain

Except for alcohol and cigarettes.

Nice post.

MsKilla

Best of luck!!

HeadLump

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, Ben. I can imagine how worrying this must be, but try not to obsess about worst case scenario. Generally things turn out much, much better than we expect

But, boy, that was a brilliant and inspirational post I also feel grateful sometimes for being an alcoholic. Apart from all the toe-curling things which I can't change, I feel that it has made me more empathetic and less judgemental and has given me the opportunity for real gratitude and to see the world in a way I might otherwise never have experienced.

Good luck with the smoking

Nuudawn

In Canada...and likely prior to tougher DUI reg's and penalties there used to be something called a 24-hour suspension that basically the cop took you off the road cuz you were impaired and your license was taken and a taxi was called. You then went, somewhat shamefully, to go pick your license up the following day. In my early 30's I got 3 of them in a very short time period (in all cases, there is no question I should have received a DUI). At that time, my work consisted of entering federal penitentiaries for legal advocacy and I had to have yearly criminal record checks for obvious security purposes. None of that information ever appeared on record. I'm with the other poster in thing that unless you were arrested, fingerprinted and charged...it doesn't really show.
I was later charged with something unrelated...fingerprinted..yadda, yadda where the charge was later withdrawn and I was advised that this information would not show up whatsoever unless I was applying for CSIS or something.
I had another criminal records check for another job...and yuppers..that one showed up "information on file"..not arrest or anything and my employer asked bout it (technically I'm not sure it was in there authority to question it but I wanted the show and it wasn't a big deal and had to do with a domestic matter)...

Nevertheless..I'm of the opinion unless you were actually "charged" with something..it doesn't show up. I guess I can only speak for Canada though.