freedragonfly

So I only recently recognized that I have a big problem with alcohol. I do now think I'm definitely an alcoholic. I want to quit it. But I'm finding it to be one of the hardest things I ever tried to do.

I feel stuck.

I detoxed medically at home a little while ago. Actually did this several times over the course of some time. Would quit and detox, stop for five days, then go back to drinking for a while, then detox again, etc. I think you can see the pattern. I do not want to have to detox again. I don't like taking those pills.

So I was at 6-10 drinks a day. Mostly drinking during the day as I don't work. Would often start drinking right after my coffee around 8am.

This is what has been happening lately: I quit for two days, I even go to some AA meetings, but then go back to drinking. So far it hasn't been a ton of drinks. Over the weekend it was 3 on Sat, 3 on Sun. Then on Mon it was 4. That is how it creeps up for me. If I continue, it will eventually be back to 6-10.

I feel incredibly powerless to stop my drinking. I am going to go to an AA meeting a bit later today at noon. Its early morning where I am now.

Oh and I think I am addicted to some other things that are not substances. Will have to work on that too.

I feel so stuck and like I can't do this. Any encouragement is welcome. I do not know if AA is right for me or not but its what I'm trying first.

Anna

It's normal to feel stuck and even hopeless when you know you must stop drinking. But, you are neither stuck, nor hopeless. Make a change. In the early days, what worked for me was changing my daily routine. What is the time you usually drink, the hardest time of day to stay sober? Plan specifically to be doing something else at that time. Get rid of the alcohol in the house and don't buy more. You can do this!

freedragonfly

the hardest time is from noon to around 6pm. I will try to find some distractions.

Coldfusion

Dragon fly, I replaced my alcohol drinking habit with a seltzer water drinking habit. After morning coffee, I drink seltzer all day long. There is something very satisfying about that "hand-to-mouth" consumption, be it a beverage, food, or even cigarettes. It is a very primal reaction. Replace your bad habit with a good habit!

freedragonfly

actually bubbly drinks that are not alcoholic are helpful for me. I am/was a beer drinker and really like bubbles. I should go out and buy some sparkling water. I do have some diet sprite here now though.

soberclover

I admire that you recognize that drinking doesn't work for you. Changing our habits is hard but it is worth it....especially when we are talking about your physical and mental health. This really does get easier! I used to hear that and want to punch people in the throat but it really is true

freedragonfly

I suppose realizing it is a problem is the first step. Before I just was in denial or not thinking much about it. It does affect my health. Especially my mental health.

Johnsonsober22

Mental health and addiction do seem to be connected. It's not easy, but it can be done... 13 days for me.....

freedragonfly

They are connected for me. I hope I can do this.

Johnsonsober22

Free dragon, believe in yourself, repeat after me " I can do it" all beginnings are hard, but I have faith in you... You are doing great :-)

Johnsonsober22

Cold, I do the same thing, just need to sip on something all the time, it really works....

GwenCummings

My advice? Don't do it alone. Don't spend time alone unless you are comfortable. Go to as many meetings as you can get your hands on. Reach out to the people who will want to help you.

I tried on my own for 5 years and it did not work for me. One week in AA and I feel more relaxed than I have felt in years. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Remember that drinking in the morning means you have a VERY serious problem. No discussion, no denial allowed, it's plain crazy.

EarlyHours

I can also second the bubbly drink suggestions. I'm still new in the process, but find that having something with a little more flavor/feel than plain water helps a lot. I've cut out soda at the same time since alcohol and a soft drink mixer go hand in hand for me, but there are a lot of good flavors in sparkling water. Actually just waiting for the stores to open so I can go stock up.

DisplacedGRITS

Going to meetings is good but what are you doing before, during and after the meetings? Are you going early and meeting people? Volunteering to read? Do you raise your hand if they ask if anyone is in their first 30 days? After the meetings, do you linger and chat? Go out for fellowship? Consider finding a homegroup? Ask people about a sponsor?

Going to meetings is good but I often find that the meeting isn't why I'm going. I'm going to stay connected. It's about having that conversation while setting up chairs and putting them away. It's finding that woman who has that fire in her eyes, strength in her program and carries a flame of hope that you want to be near. Asking her to be your sponsor or to at least point you in the right direction.

I spent several months going to meetings but not making the necessary connections. I read the book but I read it alone and with half my brain tied behind my back. It's taken trial and error but I'm feeling more confident in my program now. I need to call my sponsor more but I am connecting and that's helping.

Do you have a schedule? Are there numbers in it? Do you call them? Don't hesitate to call anyone who's given you her number. By asking for help, you are giving them a service opportunity which is absolutely vital to their program. Get plugged in and stay plugged in. If you're anything like me, isolation is death.

freedragonfly

thanks for all the replies. I am still stuck. I still have a lot of fears about AA. I do have some numbers from AA that I can call. I honestly do not know what I will do today. Well today is day 1. Mainly I'm just going to try not to drink today.

Gonnachange

If getting through the day is intimidating, try getting through the next hour. I just passed hour 60. For me, it's much more manageable and I can already feel the changes.

Wish you well.

Stoogy

Yep it is trigger moments that are the hardest, like after work etc, but if you can make plans for times like this you can get beyond these trigger points,

Wishing you well.

freedragonfly

perhaps hour by hour could help. I do know I can only think of today. its morning still so not bad yet. luckily I won't be alone this afternoon.