QuitForSon

I guess I am an alcholic as i drink pretty much everyday for the past 20+ years. I always new I drank more than alot of my friends but never thought i had any issues with it because i would always go to work, be responsible with life issues, family, etc. Alcohol never really caused me any issues other than maybe a hangover. I had an acquaintance once that did have a quite serious alcohol issue (if he was awake he drank) and i told him about my after work and weekend drinking, he proceeded to ask me a couple of questions which were does your drinking affect your work or your family or friends. I said no to all and he informed me that i dont have a problem with drinking which sounded good to me at the time so i continued drinking daily.I am now at the point where i know i have a problem but i still dont stop myself as i keep telling myself that i am a mild alcoholic and its not hurting my life to much. I drink about 6 to 8 beers after work and much more on the weekends, the thing is nobody ever says anything to me becasue i dont ever appear drunk like staggering or sluring speach. I guess i have a high tollerence and hide my buzz quite well. I drink at home mostly by myself, I have an 8 year old son that is with me from thursday evening to monday morning every week and he notices my drinking but doesnt seem to care because i enroll and take him to multiple sports and also play with him out front. I am worried that he will think drinking beer all evening or most of the day on the weekend is normal and when he gets older he will follow my path. I actually quit smoking about 4 months ago after being a 30 year smoker which i still cant believe i did as i really enjoyed smoking especially when drinking. I quit smoking because my son kept telling me he didnt want me to die early which really got to me. Anyways i just wanted to get this off my chest as i dont really have anyone i want to talk to about it. Sorry for the bad grammer, was not my best subject in school.

DowntownNYC

QuitForSon -- I am very similar to you, insofar as my heavy drinking did not seem to adversely effect my life. But then some cracks started to appear. I came to agree with the belief that alcoholism is progressive, and although the progression is slower in some than in others, eventually it leads to an untenable place for people with a problem. It's completely your choice as to whether you want to address your drinking or not. If you decide to make a change, I think the positive here is that you were able to catch it before it lead you to do things that really did mess up your life. Anyway, like I said, my two cents is that once you've started down the path of deterioration, it can only get worse. That's why I stopped. I just worried that even though I made it this far without major incident, I was not in control of how much I drank anymore, and therefore not in control of what I might do when I drank too much (whether this year or next year or in ten years).

biminiblue

Welcome to the forums here at SR! We're glad you're here.

The label is not the issue. If you are drinking as much as you are, you are impaired for a good portion of your time.

Alcohol dependency is progressive. I "functioned" okay for many years and was able to drink quite a lot but I had no real life, no hobbies that didn't allow drinking, or real friends that weren't drinking buddies. I saw my father drink and he died at 41 from a heart attack which I'm sure was partially caused by his drinking.

Your son deserves a dad who is present, not altered.

My only solution was to stop completely. I drank to get high and to stop my brain. Then I had to drink. Then the drink had me.

I pray you will find a way out of the bottle.

Anna

You are wise to be concerned about your son's perception of your drinking. This would be a great time to show your son, through your actions, that a lifestyle filled with alcohol is not okay.

I hope you decide to stop drinking for good. And, congratulations on quitting smoking.

NJKitty

I never got in 'trouble' always had a job and maintained a respectable household. But the weekend hangovers were stealing quality time from my little one. And more important, like you, I didn't want her to follow my path. Best wishes on making a good decision for you and your son.

Stoogy

Well I must be completely honest, reading your post really got me because the quantity you drink after work through the week and the quantity at weekends really mirrored my drinking volumes pretty much bang on, my wife hates my drinking but I selfishly put that down to the fact that her family did not drink at all, ever.. So I thought it made my drinking look worst than it actually was! Wrong, way wrong.

It's only when I started noticing myself that I was changing smaller things that stood out to me, like going to various shops for my alcohol so they didn't see me more than once a day etc, then came the drinking earlier in the day from 3pm to 2pm etc then the bottom of the barrel came.. Opening a beer at 7am some days.

Sorry for the long post but I guess my point is the progression drinking takes on us without us really noticing, if you quit you may well have some rough early days but you will get to a place where you will wonder why you spent so many years and so many dollars on this habbit.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to SR!!

tomthern

I know how you feel. I was able to work, go out, have fun and not really a hangover. Then it started to get worse and suddenly I went from having people in my life to no one that wanted to be near me. I am glad you are here.

LBrain

something made me wonder. when a friend asked if your drinking affected others and you said no, are you sure? sometimes we don't really know how our drinking affects other parts of our life. we make it work and do things seemingly without interference from alcohol. But are we sure?

I think that is part of the being honest with ourselves idea. Are we absolutely positive 100% that our drinking played no role in anything about our lives and relationships. Just something to think about. It took a lot of pondering for me to realize the secondary effects of my drinking even though it wasn't really a problem.
Take another look - it's a part of taking inventory of oneself. We sometimes have selective memeory.

Treerat66

Hi QuitForSon, welcome to SR

QuitForSon

Hi LBrain, your post got me thinking and I think that my drinking has affected parts of my life including friendships, relationships, ETC. I am always telling myself that the booze is not affecting anything but I am starting to see otherwise, I guess the addiction is quite powerful and able to cloud what we think. Anyways I wanted to say thanks for your input, this is why I joined the site and made a post to get feedback from people like me with similar issues so I can finally see my problem for what it is and re-start my life down a better path.

Hevyn

Welcome QuitForSon - it's so good that you found us & reached out for some help.

I also was in denial about what alcohol was doing to my life. I drank for about 30 yrs., always trying to control the amounts I drank. I failed - and in the end I was numb most of the day. We can't afford to live that way. I think it'll really help you to be here with us. You can talk about your feelings and no one will judge. Glad you are here.