Mamahawk

So my mom says I can't succeed because she says I'm not quitting by my own will but rather just quitting in order not to lose my family.

megacrankcase

There is no bad reason to quit, and doing so for family is an honorable one. Don't let anyone deter you. You can do it.

Mamahawk

I told her I'm on day 7 and she said well you've been here before. I've never made it day 7 in 20 years. I understand she is skeptical but I need support not to feel bad. And it doesn't matter why I quit. Just that I do. And I did things to quit I've never done. Off the bank account. Cash is in a safe. No car keys and I don't leave the house without my husband. At all. And I'm working on other things I've never done like I told all my secrets. All of them. Every single one. My husband helped me make payment arrangements to those I owe.

megacrankcase

Excellent.

Sadly, sometimes loved ones can be the most critical. Sure, we have let them down in the past. I know I did numerous times with my ex-wife and closest friends.

I'd say to give it some more time, maintain the sobriety, and then ask to talk to your Mom again. Maybe even write her a letter. That might help her to think about it rather than react.

Good luck, and STAY STRONG!

Dee74

It's very common for us to find that the people we want most to support us won't.
Sometimes they're just tired of it, and something they just don't understand.

That's why it's important to find people who do understand, like us here at SR
D

Gakx

Wow, Mamahawk, you are an inspiration. You are doing all the right things. To reference AA, we all need a "higher power" to set this journey in motion. It really doesn't matter what you choose. Someone could choose to give a better life for the dog, so what, if it gets you started and on track.

In the end, you do it for yourself though. What good are you to others that you love and care about if you can't help yourself. I didn't become sober for myself at first but then I started to understand the underlying message.

And maybe my dogs have a better life now too! BTW, our families can be a strong driving force and I respect you for wanting to save your relationship and future with them. Hooray for one week!

hez1979

Yeah just stay strong and prove your mum wrong... You are doing it for you ultimately... You are important xxxx

Mamahawk

I'm the past I would have let this make me use again. Any excuse was enough. Didn't even need an excuse really. But if I had one that was better!

Gottalife

If you are an alcoholic of my type, any reason to quit is a good one, at least in the beginning.

In the end, what you mom is trying to tell you, is that it is best to quit for yourself first, and others second. I have seen many quit for things other than themselves. To save a relationship is very common. But that immediately puts a condition on the sobriety. When the relationship ends, so does the reason for staying sober.

When you think of the seriousness of the alcoholic illness, it ends either in sobriety, insanity or death, always. It doesn't make sense to make your very survival dependent on the actions of another human being. Sooner or later people always let you down. They have feet of clay.

I believe you are worth saving, regardless of what your family does.

Mamahawk

I don't even have a desire to use. None. I'm not saying I'm not thinking about pills. I'm thinking about them alright. Constantly. But I don't want them right now. Weird how something so small can dominate your thoughts.

Berrybean

We all have a first reason to stop.
The longer we stay stopped, it seems the longer our list of reasons becomes as we become more able to think clearly, and notice what is important to us. And what gives us joy and a sense of worth that we have missed out on while caught in the insanity of our poison.
You've stopped digging yourself deeper in your hole of self-destruction, and can now take stock of what damage you've done (to yourself and others). Later you can start to change the things you can to make things better. (Some things will not be mend-able or changeable and some degree of acceptance will be required about those things.)

I know that before I actually DID quit, I'd said that I would cut sown / sort it out (??!!) so many times to different people. Of course, they are amongst the most surprised that I've stuck to it now. Yes, it stung that they didn't believe / trust me when I said I was going to do it. But that's my problem, not theirs. They just lived and learnt that I was generally BSing them when I came out with my good intentions. And, to be fair, even I was getting sick of my BS and inability to stick to what I said I was going to do, so why wouldn't others get sick of it.

Just carry on and prove to them (and yourself) that you can do this, and this time it IS different.

Stay strong