anewpage

So yesterday instead of going to an AA meeting, I went and bought vodka and sat in my car and drank.
12 days down the drain.
I did call a lady at AA though, and she told me to go home and pour the rest of the vodka down the drain. I managed to drive home, very slowly (oh how stupid and irresponsible of me). My husband was very disappointed but not angry with me. I'm grateful for how well he took care of me. I slept for a few hours and then woke up with the WORST hangover I have EVER had in my life. I can't even describe the self loathing I felt, how ill and defeated. I poured the rest of the vodka down the drain with great satisfaction. I hate it. I don't want it in my life anymore.
So.... hello, Day 1. Please God let it be my last one.

jakec

im on the same boat as you. I used last night and im paying for it dearly today.

Needinghelp82

Well done for pouring the rest away! I'm pleased you called, to me that shows you WANT to be sober.

christimc

Been there too much. Round and round of day 1s. Im new still on round idk...day 5. We can do this guys!

PurpleKnight

No point worrying about the past, it's in the past, can't be changed, whereas the future is ours to choose . . . go at it again but be sure to reach out for support BEFORE taking that first drink, it'll make all the difference!!

You both can do this!!

Findingtheway

I'm glad you made it to 12 days. I'm currently on day 4 today. I hope to make it to 12 days.

Reading your posts these past days have helped me get this far. Please don't give up hope. You've helped me get to day four anewpage.

Great for posting. Please try again. You've got my support.

Be well and thank you.

Erratic

You done good in phoning someone in AA at the time. All I can say is keep on trying, and yeah hangovers, drunk and all those things become very old, but old enough that its hard to change. good luck and u can do this.

ReadytoBeme79

Dust yourself off and try again

Timmah

I'm right there with you. Day 1 again. I don't feel like I'm a place to offer advice yet. But we need to keep trying.

LBrain

Well Jimmy, glad you called someone and glad you are back. It's good your hubby is helping you through this too. Keep trying. Keep doing. You can lick this thing!

Hi Timmah, I was wondering about you. Haven't heard from you in a while. Are you getting back on the horse too?

Timmah

Hi LBrain!

Yeah, back to day 1. Created a new topic about it this morning. Trying to own it.

anewpage

Thanks all... feeling a little depressed today so I've been trying to take it easy and not do too much. Zero cravings because the thought of alcohol still sickens me.

Verte

Hey anewpage,

We are all here with you.