How can I deal with all the regret and remorse?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Here
Posts: 78
How can I deal with all the regret and remorse?
I'm back again. I was making progress then fell right back into my old drinking habits. I've done so many stupid embarrassing things while drunk. I can barely look my friends in the eye. I'm so full of self hate right now.
I think this last time was just that - the last time. I missed out on the 4th of July festivities because I was too drunk. My "boyfriend" (or at least he was at one point, but I think I might have done too much damage) called my 2 best friends last night and they cancelled their plans and tcame right over and stayed for a few hours. I confessed everything to them. I told them I had been drinking behind their backs. I took the vodka that I was hiding under the bathroom sink and dumped it out. I apologized and begged them all to forgive me.
I told them that I'm an alcoholic. I never said those words out loud before.
They're all out doing things or working or whatever and I'm alone right now. I don't want to be alone. I have the shakes, the cold sweats, and my stomach feels really sick. My face is all red and blotchy and I feel itchy all over. I've been through this before and that's half the reason I kept drinking, to take away these symptoms. I have to work for a couple of hours tonight at my part time job. I wish I didn't have to.
Sorry for the rant. My mind isn't very clear today. I feel like I must have killed some brain cells. I hope it's just temporary.
I think this last time was just that - the last time. I missed out on the 4th of July festivities because I was too drunk. My "boyfriend" (or at least he was at one point, but I think I might have done too much damage) called my 2 best friends last night and they cancelled their plans and tcame right over and stayed for a few hours. I confessed everything to them. I told them I had been drinking behind their backs. I took the vodka that I was hiding under the bathroom sink and dumped it out. I apologized and begged them all to forgive me.
I told them that I'm an alcoholic. I never said those words out loud before.
They're all out doing things or working or whatever and I'm alone right now. I don't want to be alone. I have the shakes, the cold sweats, and my stomach feels really sick. My face is all red and blotchy and I feel itchy all over. I've been through this before and that's half the reason I kept drinking, to take away these symptoms. I have to work for a couple of hours tonight at my part time job. I wish I didn't have to.
Sorry for the rant. My mind isn't very clear today. I feel like I must have killed some brain cells. I hope it's just temporary.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
You will absolutely get through this.
Welcome back. It's a positive thing that you have admitted to another person finally. Believe me, it's a huge step in the right direction.
Be careful with withdrawal. Keep the phone near you.
Welcome back. It's a positive thing that you have admitted to another person finally. Believe me, it's a huge step in the right direction.
Be careful with withdrawal. Keep the phone near you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
Welcome back Ready to Change...
I think of my stupidity while intoxicated as a learning experience and a definite eye opener to having a serious drinking problem.. What's done is done.. Look forward to your future sober days and everything will come together for you... Stay strong.
TG28
I think of my stupidity while intoxicated as a learning experience and a definite eye opener to having a serious drinking problem.. What's done is done.. Look forward to your future sober days and everything will come together for you... Stay strong.
TG28
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Ready,
Oh, I so understand how you feel. But, you're doing the right thing - move forward. One of the reasons that I stumbled so many times, after 3 days or 3 weeks, was because of the regret and remorse. I would feel so bad that, after a few days I'd drink again, just to stop feelings. Of course, that never works and it takes time and patience in dealing with yourself to begin to forgive yourself and to treat yourself well.
Hang in there!
Love, Anna
Oh, I so understand how you feel. But, you're doing the right thing - move forward. One of the reasons that I stumbled so many times, after 3 days or 3 weeks, was because of the regret and remorse. I would feel so bad that, after a few days I'd drink again, just to stop feelings. Of course, that never works and it takes time and patience in dealing with yourself to begin to forgive yourself and to treat yourself well.
Hang in there!
Love, Anna
Down to Earth Astronaut
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 7
I know exactly what you are dealing with. I have went through the same many times before. I lied to my friends, drank behind there back...continued to drink around them making an ass of myself. Feeling regrets and shame are one of the hardest parts I have come across. Hopefully your friends will be supportive and don't shut them out! That was one of my mistakes. I haven't talked to a couple of my best friends in over a year because of the guilt I still have. Anyways. You'll make it thru the physical withdrawls, it becomes hard emotionally and I think we learn that through time, learning to change our perceptions and daily activities. I'm still new at this, but we're all here for each other. Take care of yourself.
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
I remember feeling just the way you do right now.Sometimes sobriety comes hard to some of us.I had to accept that when I drank the results where always the same,for me,that came through alot of trial and error that I wouldnt reccomend.We drink and do crazy things because we are alcoholics.We are sick people getting better not bad people gettin good.You are sick today as the result of putting alcohol in to your body.Try not to be hard on yourself and learn from your experience.You never haveto feel this way again.As we do the right things the guilt and remorse fade but we should never forget about them.Be good to yourself..prayers ^ 
Trish
Trish
KingsWeaver, We Are One
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In tryinagain's heart
Posts: 103
Be careful
Hi Ready,
Please be careful with trying to quit on your own with medical help, you sound liked you are going through what my husband went through. His Phyc. told him to never ever go through detox alone, because it can kill you.
I am not trying to scare you, but what I watched my husband go through scared me to death, he was put on meds and went to his appts like he was suppose to, he was not admitted for this either.
Hugs,
Penelope
Please be careful with trying to quit on your own with medical help, you sound liked you are going through what my husband went through. His Phyc. told him to never ever go through detox alone, because it can kill you.
I am not trying to scare you, but what I watched my husband go through scared me to death, he was put on meds and went to his appts like he was suppose to, he was not admitted for this either.
Hugs,
Penelope
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Good to see you "ready for change" 
I am glad you decided to come back here and share with us,
girl I need to be reminded of the crappy reality of withdrawals from a drug.
I had to try going through them more than a few times, just to make sure you know, positively without a doubt sure...I promise you it does not get better. Just alot sicker.
I can only deal with my regret, self-loathing and total remorse, one day at a time. And it is slowly yet surely getting better and better. I am working on my spirtual and physical recovery from addiction to alcohol.
I am grateful you are here.
I am glad you decided to come back here and share with us,
girl I need to be reminded of the crappy reality of withdrawals from a drug.
I had to try going through them more than a few times, just to make sure you know, positively without a doubt sure...I promise you it does not get better. Just alot sicker.
I can only deal with my regret, self-loathing and total remorse, one day at a time. And it is slowly yet surely getting better and better. I am working on my spirtual and physical recovery from addiction to alcohol.
I am grateful you are here.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Salut Ready,
You're back on track the withdrawl does go and you will stronger to face your guilt and can feel proud because you have decided to stop and that is the hardest and the best thing to do.
Indigo
You're back on track the withdrawl does go and you will stronger to face your guilt and can feel proud because you have decided to stop and that is the hardest and the best thing to do.
Indigo
Guest
Posts: n/a
Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt to prove it!! 
First things first, here are some flowers for ya!!Second, easy does it!! Deal with your withdrawl & call someone for help!!
Third, hang on to SR while withdrawling then hit a meeting somewhere close!!
Fourth, once at the meeting, ask for help, and ask for phone #s!!
Fifth, use your phone #s, use SR, use tools of program, use meetings!!
Sixth, do a gratitude list, a positive affirmation list everyday, use a journal!!
Seventh, get a higher power and a sponsor!!
Eighth, work the steps with sponsor & read the program's literature!!
Ninth, pray and meditate everyday, all day!!
Tenth, attend alot of meetings & use SR alot!!
Eleventh, get plenty of rest, eat healthy, exercise, drink plenty of fluids!!
Twelveth, SMILE AND CELEBRATE EVERY SECOND OF SOBRIETY THAT YOU HAVE FROM HERE ON OUT...NO REGRETS...JUST CELEBRATIONS!!
Here is a rose for you!! Love ya!! :rose
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi, and welcome back. I'm glad you're here.
I'm Rowan, I'm an alcoholic.
I remember all too well the regret and remorse - some things I did while
drunk I still cringe at.
One thing AA promises is that you 'will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it' - believe it or not, your past experience will become your biggest asset in sobriety as you share your experience, strength and hope
with others who are struggling to stay sober.
Keep posting and keep us updated on your progress, please!
Rowan
I'm Rowan, I'm an alcoholic.
I remember all too well the regret and remorse - some things I did while
drunk I still cringe at.
One thing AA promises is that you 'will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it' - believe it or not, your past experience will become your biggest asset in sobriety as you share your experience, strength and hope
with others who are struggling to stay sober.
Keep posting and keep us updated on your progress, please!
Rowan
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