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Feeling stuck

Old 05-15-2014, 02:20 PM
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Feeling stuck

So, I'm in a dilemma where I've been living with my boyfriend for about 7 months. Lately, I have become obsessively focused on my boyfriend's recreational drug use to the point where i'm not focusing on myself anymore. I'm okay with him smoking pot occasionally, or with me, but now I think it's like everyday.

Also, his passion is music, and along that comes other use of drugs that he uses recreationally. I've told him numerous times that I'm uncomfortable with his lifestyle, especially because i've had a family member who was addicted to drugs. He justifies it by saying how he's responsible, not a deadbeat, and never gets out of control. I've told him that to consider him in my future and possibly the future father of my kids, i don't want to see him doing that. Months ago he said he would stop doing harder drugs at concerts for me. But now I've become obsessed with checking his text messages and emails with friends about doing psychedelic drugs, among other stuff, and how he needs to keep it on the down-low around me. I feel betrayed, and i can't approach him anymore about this because we just go in circles. I'm not sure how to just accept it and not make a big deal about it, and focus on making myself happy. I honestly don't think i'm ready to move out.
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:33 PM
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bona fido dog-lover
 
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I honestly don't think i'm ready to move out.

I hope you're ready to move out before you have kids with this man. Dating an addict, much less living with one, is unpredictable and not much fun. I hope you can move on and make a life for yourself. Having to check his communication means you're playing detective, not girlfriend. Are you ready for a lifetime of this?
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:41 PM
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Depending on what and how he is using it could be dangerous to both of your health.
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:47 PM
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He's known to occasionally do MDMA, LSD, and is now into DMT.
I've confronted him about reading his texts before and knowing what he's up to, but I don't think anything i will do will stop him.
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:57 PM
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Not sure if this will help but I think if he is in denial, you should start thinking about the simple truth of life. It is short. Specially if you want to bring little ones in this world.

Best to you, I know this must not be easy. I'm sitting on the other side of the fence, I am an Alcoholic. Leaving might be what he needs to wake up.

One thing for sure, think about you
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:07 PM
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I don't think there is anything you can do or say to make him change.

He needs to do that for himself.

Have you considered AlAnon or NarAnon as a support for you?
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Old 05-15-2014, 04:38 PM
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I've gone to one Al-Anon meeting for insight on how others cope. But I might start going to Nar-anon meetings as support. Thanks, everyone.
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