bananacake

I've gone 2 nights without a drink now, and am really considering drinking tonight! I wish I hadn't let that thought in..... Because I know only too well, once it is I'll end up doing it! I'm so sick of these circles I'm going round in, I want to be strong and do it!!
BUT my boyfriend really wants me to stop too but he rolls over on a weekend night about 11-12 stoned out his face and expects me to sit there sober waiting for him. I've also explained to him that alcohol makes me feel confident sexy and fun. I feel totally boring without it, Friday night he even said I was being boring, but I was moody, he was high on his habbit and I couldn't have mine, he's been very quiet with me and didn't even come last night because I wasn't prepared to wait up late!! I don't know if I'm being paranoid and insecure or what, but I just want to cry cry and drink tonight then start again! But this is what I always do 😢
Thank you for listening xxxxx

least

Don't give in! Stay sober so you can reap the rewards of living sober. Drinking again only makes it harder to stop the next time.

SoberLeigh

(((((bananacake)))).

I hope that you decide not to drink tonight; you will be so much happier and feel so much better tomorrow morning if you stay sober today. If you are like me, you will learn to be more confident in yourself and in your sobriety as time goes on. It is very early yet; keep committing to one day at a time.

Stay close to SR; there is always someone here to understand and support.

bananacake

I'm trying 😣 xxx

SoberLeigh

You can do it, bananacake. Keep posting if you need us. I will be here on and off all day.

ForMeForThem

bananacake - can you do something to change the thought process now before it takes more of a hold? Tell yourself you are not drinking today and then find a distraction...a movie, a walk, read a book, go somewhere with a sober friend. You don't have to figure it all out right now, you just have to get through today without drinking. Tomorrow you'll feel proud you did.

sugarbear1

try a positive affirmation....say: "I am confident, I am sexy, and I am fun" over and over and maybe add "I am these without the alcohol"

GotGrace

Hey bananacake! Can you make plans for tonight with someone else that would preclude drinking? Shopping, movie, game night with the kids? Anything to keep you sober and refocused?

I am sorry you are struggling. Some days are a lot harder than others. You can succeed. Do the next right thing.

(((Bananacake))))

RevivingOphelia

Any partner that comes over only wasted after they are done partying to see you isn't worth your time just based on respect alone, not to mention the risk of being with someone who seems to trigger your alcohol dependency issues. I'd take care of myself and get healthy on all levels--only way to do that would be to leave him.

Thepatman

I unfortunately have to agree with this. Dealing with your own addiction is a full time recovery job, I don't think you need to deal with someone else situation. Respect is what I can think of right now, respect

bananacake

He comes most week day nights after work without having done anything x
It's just the weekend

RevivingOphelia

For me, still unacceptable. At the very least, I'd tell him stay away if he's intoxicated. However, for me, I couldn't date someone who was actively using/abusing. As well, the fact that he thinks it's appropriate to come over in that state KNOWING you are trying to stop drinking reads as completely disrespectful. I just don't have room in my life for a partner like that.

Hevyn

Hi bananacake. We know how hard it is to stay away from it in the early days. The longer you go without it, the stronger & more confident you'll become. You won't always feel this tempted - it gets better as you get more determined to stick to your plan. Post as much as needed to get over the rough spots - we're with you.

grubby

I think its normal to have the odd moment of weakness or moment of temptation....... just don't do it.

bananacake

Sorry everyone 😩

RevivingOphelia

No need to apologize! Are you ok, bananacake?

Anna

Bananacake, I think, as hard as it might be, that you should distance yourself from this guy for at least awhile. Allow yourself to get some sobriety under your belt and to be more able to cope with him.

Try to focus on you and what you want out of this.

SoberLeigh

How are you, bananacake?

Nuudawn

Hey Bananacake, who made the decision it was best you gave up drinking...you or him? Are you trying to sober because he gave you some reason to ...or is the decision and the reason behind it you're own?

If it is not wholly yours, I fear you're facing an uphill battle that's already pretty darn steep on its' own.

ChickChick

Bananacake