Sobering a scientist
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Sobering a scientist
Hi,
just thought I would write a quick intro and explain what brought me here.
I cant really remember the first time I had a drink but it was definitely becoming a problem by the time I was 16. At the time vodka was our poison of choice, myself and the girlfriend would sit in watching TV and knocking back vodka like it was going out of fashion.
I did an adequate job at school and attended a prestigious university, my drinking became more intense but my grades remained acceptable and I was appointed to lead chapters of societies and industry based institutes. Everyone knew I drank alot but I don't think anyone saw it as a problem, then again few would see me stumbling home in the early hours. Due to my success in university and a desire to lead finding a job was easy and I began working in oil exploration. I thought as a professional my drinking would now calm down, it didn't, the job thrives on alcohol.
My desire to quit is simply to become a better man and to improve my health, to date I have lead a fairly hedonistic lifestyle and I realise this can't last forever. Reading over this post it makes it sound like drinking hasn't been a problem, it has been but I've always been happy/ignorant enough to ignore those issues.
My aim is to give up completely, doing something in moderation simply isnt in my nature, I don't expect it to be easy in fact I suspect it will be one of the most difficult challenges in my life.
This was a pointless post but writing it down makes it real.
just thought I would write a quick intro and explain what brought me here.
I cant really remember the first time I had a drink but it was definitely becoming a problem by the time I was 16. At the time vodka was our poison of choice, myself and the girlfriend would sit in watching TV and knocking back vodka like it was going out of fashion.
I did an adequate job at school and attended a prestigious university, my drinking became more intense but my grades remained acceptable and I was appointed to lead chapters of societies and industry based institutes. Everyone knew I drank alot but I don't think anyone saw it as a problem, then again few would see me stumbling home in the early hours. Due to my success in university and a desire to lead finding a job was easy and I began working in oil exploration. I thought as a professional my drinking would now calm down, it didn't, the job thrives on alcohol.
My desire to quit is simply to become a better man and to improve my health, to date I have lead a fairly hedonistic lifestyle and I realise this can't last forever. Reading over this post it makes it sound like drinking hasn't been a problem, it has been but I've always been happy/ignorant enough to ignore those issues.
My aim is to give up completely, doing something in moderation simply isnt in my nature, I don't expect it to be easy in fact I suspect it will be one of the most difficult challenges in my life.
This was a pointless post but writing it down makes it real.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Posts: 164
Welcome to SR!. As a scientist myself, I can relate a lot to what you said. The thing to know about drinking is only you can decide if it is a problem. One mans raging alcoholism is another mans choice in how he wants to live his life. If alcohol consumption is causing problems in your life, and you can't (or won't) just put it down and stop doing it, then you should start doing some research on the topic and see what you come up with. This is a great site for information and support. Spend some time reading the posts and looking over the intro sections in the different forum areas. And remember that drinking problems can happen to anyone, at any level of achievement- none of that matters, only what you want for yourself. You sound like you have some achievements in your life, and I congratulate you. Drinking and using played a part in derailing my early career, and I have never quite gotten back on track. Take this opportunity to examine your life. good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Essex
Posts: 411
Hi GeoSci
I thought as a professional my drinking would now calm down, it didn't, the job thrives on alcohol.
At the risk of offending you (which is not at all the intention) when I got sober, I found it wasn't the job that 'thrived' on alcohol, it was me, allegedly. I worked in healthcare and nursing for a number of years, where it is pretty usual to find a hard core. Seek and ye shall find, as they say...
In sobriety, it has been an eye opener to find that not only do people not drink to excess as a matter of course, some don't drink at all.
Have no idea what field you're in, so this may be inaccurate for you.
And far from being pointless, thought your post was a great introduction.
Wish you well
I thought as a professional my drinking would now calm down, it didn't, the job thrives on alcohol.
At the risk of offending you (which is not at all the intention) when I got sober, I found it wasn't the job that 'thrived' on alcohol, it was me, allegedly. I worked in healthcare and nursing for a number of years, where it is pretty usual to find a hard core. Seek and ye shall find, as they say...
In sobriety, it has been an eye opener to find that not only do people not drink to excess as a matter of course, some don't drink at all.
Have no idea what field you're in, so this may be inaccurate for you.
And far from being pointless, thought your post was a great introduction.
Wish you well
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hi GeoSci and welcome. I think a lot of us come in thinking our jobs exacerbate our drinking. But I am starting to wonder what field doesn't? Fireman, teacher, stripper, surgeon, race car driver, bond trader,writer, seasonal Santa, construction worker…
At a point I realized that apart from being a farmer in Amish country, pretty much any job could be painted as contributing to our problem. Even the Pope drinks the squished grape.
It sounds like you have done a lot of soul searching. I believe we look for evidence to exempt ourselves from having to look at what is going on. When I was willing to look at the entire picture, there was a lot more evidence than I had really acknowledged that drinking was interfering with my life in most areas.
You acknowledged that you are intelligent. For me, drinking was no longer an intelligent choice. You have likely gathered enough empirical evidence to make a prudent observation about the big picture. We all approach sobriety differently, SR is a great place because a lot of different modes intersect here. I hope you stick around.
At a point I realized that apart from being a farmer in Amish country, pretty much any job could be painted as contributing to our problem. Even the Pope drinks the squished grape.
It sounds like you have done a lot of soul searching. I believe we look for evidence to exempt ourselves from having to look at what is going on. When I was willing to look at the entire picture, there was a lot more evidence than I had really acknowledged that drinking was interfering with my life in most areas.
You acknowledged that you are intelligent. For me, drinking was no longer an intelligent choice. You have likely gathered enough empirical evidence to make a prudent observation about the big picture. We all approach sobriety differently, SR is a great place because a lot of different modes intersect here. I hope you stick around.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Pipefish 
At the risk of offending you (which is not at all the intention) when I got sober, I found it wasn't the job that 'thrived' on alcohol, it was me, allegedly. I worked in healthcare and nursing for a number of years, where it is pretty usual to find a hard core. Seek and ye shall find, as they say...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi GeoSci, welcome to the community.
I am a scientist and have always been in academia since college. Developed an awful drinking problem that was present and progressively got worse (like for most of us) throughout my 30's. It also seriously affected my professional performance during the last few years of my drinking career, and while this was not apparent to many or perhaps most people around me, it was absolutely clear to me, and caused me terrible conflicts and despair.
I quit 3 months ago, which is not much, but pretty amazing how even this little sobriety transforms all perspectives. I really recommend it
I am a scientist and have always been in academia since college. Developed an awful drinking problem that was present and progressively got worse (like for most of us) throughout my 30's. It also seriously affected my professional performance during the last few years of my drinking career, and while this was not apparent to many or perhaps most people around me, it was absolutely clear to me, and caused me terrible conflicts and despair.
I quit 3 months ago, which is not much, but pretty amazing how even this little sobriety transforms all perspectives. I really recommend it
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by jaynie04
I think a lot of us come in thinking our jobs exacerbate our drinking. But I am starting to wonder what field doesn't?
I can honestly say in all my years of work across a variety of clinical, research and academic settings, I've never felt that my work environment nurtured drinking or placed pressure on people to drink. I was always the person in the room who was hungover, still drunk or not paying sufficient attention to what I was doing or what was going on because I was thinking about my next drink. Then again, I was sober throughout my entire graduate studies, and for the vast majority of time in my professional life.
So paranoid had I become with my drinking, that when there were after-hours drinking events, I either wouldn't go or have only one or two drinks and then leave so that I could "safely" drink the way I wanted to drink. When I was doing contract work for pharmaceutical companies in a large organization, there was a staff happy hour the last Friday of each month. Free liquor for about three hours. I never went, in part because my hangovers at that job were becoming a problem, and my delusional thinking told me that I could continue to screw up without consequences as long as people assumed I was not a drinker by my absence at these affairs.
But I do tend to agree with your hypothesis that there are likely many more work environments that endorse or even promote drinking than otherwise. Jobs that produce an inordinate amount of stress -- law enforcement, air traffic controller -- may also make matters worse, as do jobs that require people to work the graveyard shift with little real work to be done and plenty of opportunities to drink while on the job.
In the end, I think it comes down to how much care and concern we give to whatever program of recovery works for us. After all, I was working as a bartender in NYC when I got sober the first time around for twenty five years. I stayed at that job for seven years, much of that time while in graduate school, without ever coming close to picking up a drink.
To the OP: The idea of not drinking is often as emotionally traumatizing as all the hardship we created while we were drinking. But while we're working to achieve sobriety, the pain of not drinking is more immediate, more present to us than the pain we suffered as a result of our drinking. Putting down the drink is always a great start. For me, making a plan for sobriety got me through the worst of times.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Hi GeoSci. Welcome to SR. You'll find many other successful professionals here and elsewhere that struggle with alcohol.
I'm just a college senior but I've been high-achieving most of my life, as well. I'm graduating college in two weeks Summa *** Laude and have a very high-paying engineering job waiting for me. Ironically, in oil and gas. Yet, here I am, struggling with alcohol problems just like everyone else.
This struggle isn't relegated to certain people. It can affect all of us. It has no discrimination with regard to achievements or socioeconomic status.
I hope you find the help you need here and can make the changes in your life that you can be proud of. I hope you stick around. There's lots of knowledgeable and heplful people here.
I'm just a college senior but I've been high-achieving most of my life, as well. I'm graduating college in two weeks Summa *** Laude and have a very high-paying engineering job waiting for me. Ironically, in oil and gas. Yet, here I am, struggling with alcohol problems just like everyone else.
This struggle isn't relegated to certain people. It can affect all of us. It has no discrimination with regard to achievements or socioeconomic status.
I hope you find the help you need here and can make the changes in your life that you can be proud of. I hope you stick around. There's lots of knowledgeable and heplful people here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Thought I'd come back and post on here.
On the Sobering up front the last few months have by and large been a write off and I've really lost any control I had. A long period of unemployment hasn't helped on that front but that can't be blamed as I had plenty to be doing.
After a particularly heavy week of Christmas parties I've decided to give it another shot. My plan is to concentrate on a few big 'projects' for the next 4 weeks, I think if I brake it down to monthly chunks it will be more manageable than saying 'forever'. I'll try and reinforce that with reading and posting on here.
It's odd I almost view alcohol as an old friend, it's always been there, a safe harbour of sorts and I realise I need to brake that connection somehow if I'm ever to sort this out. Another thing I've realised whilst I analyse my drinking habits is that I can't remember the last time I had a drink in the house, I drink exclusively in pubs and bars, sadly even if I'm alone.
Thanks for all your replies, appreciate it.
On the Sobering up front the last few months have by and large been a write off and I've really lost any control I had. A long period of unemployment hasn't helped on that front but that can't be blamed as I had plenty to be doing.
After a particularly heavy week of Christmas parties I've decided to give it another shot. My plan is to concentrate on a few big 'projects' for the next 4 weeks, I think if I brake it down to monthly chunks it will be more manageable than saying 'forever'. I'll try and reinforce that with reading and posting on here.
It's odd I almost view alcohol as an old friend, it's always been there, a safe harbour of sorts and I realise I need to brake that connection somehow if I'm ever to sort this out. Another thing I've realised whilst I analyse my drinking habits is that I can't remember the last time I had a drink in the house, I drink exclusively in pubs and bars, sadly even if I'm alone.
Thanks for all your replies, appreciate it.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hello Geo ,
For me it's a daily thing . Life is served up in 24 hour chunks so i deal with it all on a 24hr basis …. sometimes 24 hours can seem like a real long time so i used to go to bed early and sleep in late to try and get some of the difficult days over with . thinking about the question of if i will be sober or drunk tomorrow didn't help me get through today , just added to my anxiety ..
Sometimes people find a recovery method / program helpful .. AAs' 12 steps , AVRT , some people just find coming to SR daily useful to "touch base" ..
I hope to see you check by more often ,
Bestwishes, m
For me it's a daily thing . Life is served up in 24 hour chunks so i deal with it all on a 24hr basis …. sometimes 24 hours can seem like a real long time so i used to go to bed early and sleep in late to try and get some of the difficult days over with . thinking about the question of if i will be sober or drunk tomorrow didn't help me get through today , just added to my anxiety ..
Sometimes people find a recovery method / program helpful .. AAs' 12 steps , AVRT , some people just find coming to SR daily useful to "touch base" ..
I hope to see you check by more often ,
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Welcome Sci! Congrats on the best decision. We all say see a Dr. It makes good sense given the serious physical WD's some experience. I'm sure you've researched. Stop in and let us know how things are going. Lotsa good folks here and some great tips on everything recovery. Oh, and yes, alcohol was the longest running bad romance in my life. You might like the Rational Recovery stuff on AVRT in the Secular Forums here. It helped me wrap my head around the idea of an "irrational possession" so to speak from following AV thought threads (by giving it a name). It helped me a lot this time around.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
It's possible to act entirely rationally about a self destructive behaviour. Do a cost benefit analysis. See what alcohol brings to your life. See what you will lose by quitting drinking. Work really hard at these two lists, and make them as long as you can. Don't leave a single thing out.
Now look at the cons of drinking, what it is doing to you. Make a list of negative outcomes that result from continuing to drink.
Finally, make a fourth list, and for me, this one was the clincher. Make a a list of things you can not do, can not have have, things you can not achieve if you choose to continue to drink.
I knew already that my drinking had done serious damage to physical, mental and emotional health, that I bore the responsibily for a long and growing list of screw ups, that I had lost the respect of others and of myself. The day came when I realized I could drink, or I could be healthy, I could love and be loved, I could have a career and home and family and friends, I could know inner peace and pride, I could appreciate beauty and joy. I could even be happy. I could have a life worth living, or I could drink.
I thought I was terrified of quitting drinking, but I wasn't really. I had done many challenging things before, as I know you have, GeoSci, and I knew I could do this too. It was my addiction that was terrified of losing that buzz, the numbness, the pleasure, not me.
Looking back, it was one of the more difficult things I have achieved, but not nearly as hard as I had feared. And really, what does the degree of difficulty have to do with it? I decided that I would not fail. Period. Not an option I could ever allow to exist.
You can quit, GeoSci. Of course you can. You can tell people that it is hard and that means you will waffle, change your mind, relapse, but you know what the deal is here.
So - are you ready? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Now look at the cons of drinking, what it is doing to you. Make a list of negative outcomes that result from continuing to drink.
Finally, make a fourth list, and for me, this one was the clincher. Make a a list of things you can not do, can not have have, things you can not achieve if you choose to continue to drink.
I knew already that my drinking had done serious damage to physical, mental and emotional health, that I bore the responsibily for a long and growing list of screw ups, that I had lost the respect of others and of myself. The day came when I realized I could drink, or I could be healthy, I could love and be loved, I could have a career and home and family and friends, I could know inner peace and pride, I could appreciate beauty and joy. I could even be happy. I could have a life worth living, or I could drink.
I thought I was terrified of quitting drinking, but I wasn't really. I had done many challenging things before, as I know you have, GeoSci, and I knew I could do this too. It was my addiction that was terrified of losing that buzz, the numbness, the pleasure, not me.
Looking back, it was one of the more difficult things I have achieved, but not nearly as hard as I had feared. And really, what does the degree of difficulty have to do with it? I decided that I would not fail. Period. Not an option I could ever allow to exist.
You can quit, GeoSci. Of course you can. You can tell people that it is hard and that means you will waffle, change your mind, relapse, but you know what the deal is here.
So - are you ready? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by anattaboy
Welcome Sci! Congrats on the best decision. We all say see a Dr. It makes good sense given the serious physical WD's some experience. I'm sure you've researched. Stop in and let us know how things are going. Lotsa good folks here and some great tips on everything recovery. Oh, and yes, alcohol was the longest running bad romance in my life. You might like the Rational Recovery stuff on AVRT in the Secular Forums here. It helped me wrap my head around the idea of an "irrational possession" so to speak from following AV thought threads (by giving it a name). It helped me a lot this time around.
One of the reasons I've always been hesitant to pay the Dr a visit is that my med records are released to my employers as I'm 'operational'. It may be something I do and simply ask for an informal chat.
I'll have a look at those forums, appreciate the help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by freshstart57
It's possible to act entirely rationally about a self destructive behaviour. Do a cost benefit analysis. See what alcohol brings to your life. See what you will lose by quitting drinking. Work really hard at these two lists, and make them as long as you can. Don't leave a single thing out.
Now look at the cons of drinking, what it is doing to you. Make a list of negative outcomes that result from continuing to drink.
Finally, make a fourth list, and for me, this one was the clincher. Make a a list of things you can not do, can not have have, things you can not achieve if you choose to continue to drink.
I knew already that my drinking had done serious damage to physical, mental and emotional health, that I bore the responsibily for a long and growing list of screw ups, that I had lost the respect of others and of myself. The day came when I realized I could drink, or I could be healthy, I could love and be loved, I could have a career and home and family and friends, I could know inner peace and pride, I could appreciate beauty and joy. I could even be happy. I could have a life worth living, or I could drink.
I thought I was terrified of quitting drinking, but I wasn't really. I had done many challenging things before, as I know you have, GeoSci, and I knew I could do this too. It was my addiction that was terrified of losing that buzz, the numbness, the pleasure, not me.
Looking back, it was one of the more difficult things I have achieved, but not nearly as hard as I had feared. And really, what does the degree of difficulty have to do with it? I decided that I would not fail. Period. Not an option I could ever allow to exist.
You can quit, GeoSci. Of course you can. You can tell people that it is hard and that means you will waffle, change your mind, relapse, but you know what the deal is here.
So - are you ready? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Now look at the cons of drinking, what it is doing to you. Make a list of negative outcomes that result from continuing to drink.
Finally, make a fourth list, and for me, this one was the clincher. Make a a list of things you can not do, can not have have, things you can not achieve if you choose to continue to drink.
I knew already that my drinking had done serious damage to physical, mental and emotional health, that I bore the responsibily for a long and growing list of screw ups, that I had lost the respect of others and of myself. The day came when I realized I could drink, or I could be healthy, I could love and be loved, I could have a career and home and family and friends, I could know inner peace and pride, I could appreciate beauty and joy. I could even be happy. I could have a life worth living, or I could drink.
I thought I was terrified of quitting drinking, but I wasn't really. I had done many challenging things before, as I know you have, GeoSci, and I knew I could do this too. It was my addiction that was terrified of losing that buzz, the numbness, the pleasure, not me.
Looking back, it was one of the more difficult things I have achieved, but not nearly as hard as I had feared. And really, what does the degree of difficulty have to do with it? I decided that I would not fail. Period. Not an option I could ever allow to exist.
You can quit, GeoSci. Of course you can. You can tell people that it is hard and that means you will waffle, change your mind, relapse, but you know what the deal is here.
So - are you ready? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
I think I will write that list tonight, writing things down always seems to make things more 'real' and a 'rational' approach is likely to strike a chord with me.
As I've realised things slowly but surely getting worse over the years I truly am at a crossroads in life where failure to knock this one the head is becoming dangerous. Although like I said it feels like I'm severing ties with an old friend, it makes no sense but I have personified alcohol and intertwined it with my personality over the years, I suspect unravelling that relationship will be the big challenge in ensuring longer term success.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Geo welcome to the forum
Just some food for thought, an appeal to the empirical nature of things, personification is for literature. Try a view toward fixing a problem within a system. Physical well being and mental well being are depedent ultimately on the well being of the biologic system, alcohol abuse will damage that system, an impediment to the realization of the well being of the entire 'system'. Remove the problem.
Just some food for thought, an appeal to the empirical nature of things, personification is for literature. Try a view toward fixing a problem within a system. Physical well being and mental well being are depedent ultimately on the well being of the biologic system, alcohol abuse will damage that system, an impediment to the realization of the well being of the entire 'system'. Remove the problem.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
