Losing motivation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 31
Losing motivation.
Am sitting at day 119. I'm happy to be at this point but I also am extremely unmotivated, suddenly miss drinking and feel blue. I felt great a month ago. Seems since I figured out that I didn't have as many days sober as I thought I have just felt worse. Did anyone else feel blue around the 120 mark? I'm getting pissed at myself for my lack of focus.
I've been out with friends and they are shocked to see I'm still sober. This kind of hurts my feelings. Also I have been so busy with family that my routine is messed up. Then I couldn't get the laundry done. I wore a pretty dressy outfit for me this week because my usual clothes were dirty. Someone at work made a comment like I was hot for a guy at work. I was embarrassed by this comment. I don't think I would have normally cared, but this week this all really got to me.
Im going to bed early so I can shut my brain down about all this. Seeking any advice.
I've been out with friends and they are shocked to see I'm still sober. This kind of hurts my feelings. Also I have been so busy with family that my routine is messed up. Then I couldn't get the laundry done. I wore a pretty dressy outfit for me this week because my usual clothes were dirty. Someone at work made a comment like I was hot for a guy at work. I was embarrassed by this comment. I don't think I would have normally cared, but this week this all really got to me.
Im going to bed early so I can shut my brain down about all this. Seeking any advice.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I dont have much advice, but I will say that I think it is wonderful that you have 119 days sober. I am happy for you.
I think things will get better. Perhaps you can do something special for yourself in celebration of your accomplishment-you deserve it.
hugs,try to count your blessings. seems that helps
chicory
I think things will get better. Perhaps you can do something special for yourself in celebration of your accomplishment-you deserve it.
hugs,try to count your blessings. seems that helps
chicory
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Congrats on 119 days
I think it's normal to feel a little blue around the 100-120 day mark - it's long enough for us to forget the worst of the bad stuff but maybe a little too soon for all of the benefits of sobriety to be clear.
It's also probably still pretty normal to have thoughts stray to drinking if you're feeling stressed.
Can you make a proirity list and get the important things done?
Is there anyone to help with the family stuff - it sounds like you're overwhelmed a little right now?
and most importantly - find someone to talk to, whether it's here or elsewhere. I find when I'm worrying about what other people think, or being hurt by their actions I need to get out of my head a little.
Unburden yourself to someone you trust, maybe?
D
I think it's normal to feel a little blue around the 100-120 day mark - it's long enough for us to forget the worst of the bad stuff but maybe a little too soon for all of the benefits of sobriety to be clear.
It's also probably still pretty normal to have thoughts stray to drinking if you're feeling stressed.
Can you make a proirity list and get the important things done?
Is there anyone to help with the family stuff - it sounds like you're overwhelmed a little right now?
and most importantly - find someone to talk to, whether it's here or elsewhere. I find when I'm worrying about what other people think, or being hurt by their actions I need to get out of my head a little.
Unburden yourself to someone you trust, maybe?
D
Sober since March 21, 2013
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 262
120 days SOBER is fantastic Coffeecake!
Your feelings at this stage are very normal.
You are still adjusting to handling life without the fog of alcohol. You will have good days and bad days. No ones life is ever perfect.
Your alcoholic voice (AV) will magnify minor problems in your mind to convince you that drinking alcohol is the easiest solution.
There are endless activities to divert your brain from needless worry.
I drink caffeine-free tea in the evenings. That, and reading, is an excellent way to relax before sleeping. And in 406 days I have not had one hangover.
Welcome to SR!
Your feelings at this stage are very normal.
You are still adjusting to handling life without the fog of alcohol. You will have good days and bad days. No ones life is ever perfect.
Your alcoholic voice (AV) will magnify minor problems in your mind to convince you that drinking alcohol is the easiest solution.
There are endless activities to divert your brain from needless worry.
I drink caffeine-free tea in the evenings. That, and reading, is an excellent way to relax before sleeping. And in 406 days I have not had one hangover.
Welcome to SR!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Hi Coffeecake -- congratulations on your 119 days!
I think most of what you described is normal growing pains in early sobriety. Feeling foggy, mentally unfocused -- the way I look at it, your brain has learned to focus pretty heavily on your drug of choice, and it takes a while for it to learn to focus on anything else
Also it's normal to be extra-sensitive, like to workplace comments. The blanket of drink that enveloped your life is gone, so you're more exposed & not used to handling that exposure.
It's a really raw time, in all. It can go on for a while, but don't throw your sober time away!
If you're not getting any face-to-face support, I recommend it, either with AA/NA, a counselor, or another kind of group program. People who understand your addiction problem can help to ease the blues and let you know when you're heading astray.
I think most of what you described is normal growing pains in early sobriety. Feeling foggy, mentally unfocused -- the way I look at it, your brain has learned to focus pretty heavily on your drug of choice, and it takes a while for it to learn to focus on anything else
Also it's normal to be extra-sensitive, like to workplace comments. The blanket of drink that enveloped your life is gone, so you're more exposed & not used to handling that exposure.
It's a really raw time, in all. It can go on for a while, but don't throw your sober time away!
If you're not getting any face-to-face support, I recommend it, either with AA/NA, a counselor, or another kind of group program. People who understand your addiction problem can help to ease the blues and let you know when you're heading astray.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Hi Coffeecake....I had some pretty strong drinking thoughts around 90days.
Like you, a haphazard comment by someone at work magnified...and it hurt me sooo much. I drank. And boy, did I regret it.
Drop the thoughts as soon as they start. Acknowledge them as normal, but don't feed them any air time by imagining drinking.
You are just about to turn the corner and reap even more benefits from being sober...hold on to it, it is THE most precious thing you have. Without sobriety, I guarantee your life will not move forward.
Be well.
Like you, a haphazard comment by someone at work magnified...and it hurt me sooo much. I drank. And boy, did I regret it.
Drop the thoughts as soon as they start. Acknowledge them as normal, but don't feed them any air time by imagining drinking.
You are just about to turn the corner and reap even more benefits from being sober...hold on to it, it is THE most precious thing you have. Without sobriety, I guarantee your life will not move forward.
Be well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
I don't doubt you're feeling blah. I believe that it's a normal physiological response to sustained sobriety. I know I felt the same. I am just now getting past the indifference phase and I'm at about at nine months. It's a drag, but consider finding something you can get lost in--not alcohol--and distract yourself with that activity/hobby. I think that once you get in enough time sober, your mind and body will eventually fire up again with the passion you're missing these days.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Have you made any other changes besides stopping drinking?
Have you added things to your life that bring you joy and pleasure?
Exercising might help, too.
Congratulations on how far you've come and I hope you continue to follow the recovery road.
Have you added things to your life that bring you joy and pleasure?
Exercising might help, too.
Congratulations on how far you've come and I hope you continue to follow the recovery road.
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