AA tomorrow
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 209
AA tomorrow
Mixed feeling. Read a lot here, both good and bad stuff. I am guessing it is ok to just go there, sit quiet in a corner and listen? No need to talk to people? I have no idea how it will feel when I am there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 73
I just listened for awhile. It was amazing how non judgmental it was when I first went. Still is. My preconceived notions were out the window. It also gave me a hell of a lot perspective....many in AA have come back and live a great sober life from a lot more wreckage I than I have. After all, MY problems are carastrophic because I am the center of the universe. 
Everything is perspective.
Good luck.
Everything is perspective.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yes, AA is what you make of it. It is a lot like real life. Some people you'll like right away, some will take a little getting used to and some you will avoid.
You don't have to talk, you don't have to even say your name unless you feel like it. They may ask, but you can just say, "I'm just going to listen, thanks."
Take it slowly. They do understand you, so you'll feel right at home.
You don't have to talk, you don't have to even say your name unless you feel like it. They may ask, but you can just say, "I'm just going to listen, thanks."
Take it slowly. They do understand you, so you'll feel right at home.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey Laura,
Yeah I've been to a bunch of meetings over a year and it is totally fine to sit and listen. When the time is ready to speak you'll know. Just remember that there are many types of meetings ie (religious, not so religious, casual and not). The first meeting may not be what you're looking for. I hope it will be but if it's not keep trying there is one out there for you. Everyone there is very supportive and accepting.
Garrison
Yeah I've been to a bunch of meetings over a year and it is totally fine to sit and listen. When the time is ready to speak you'll know. Just remember that there are many types of meetings ie (religious, not so religious, casual and not). The first meeting may not be what you're looking for. I hope it will be but if it's not keep trying there is one out there for you. Everyone there is very supportive and accepting.
Garrison
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I went to my first meeting less than 2 weeks ago after spending a lot of mental energy on imagining how it might turn out. I was pretty nervous on that particular day for other reasons, so wasn't truly myself, but there was absolutely nothing threatening. I've gone to a few more since and while it's always a mixed experience and I don't always like all the attention, they have been interesting and positive experiences so far. Nothing to be afraid of.
I do try to talk with the people a little (that was the main reason why I wanted to go to start with) but like everyone says, it's absolutely down to the individual. Really, whatever feels most comfortable. I was told the same before my first meeting and now am confident it's truthful advice.
Good luck
I do try to talk with the people a little (that was the main reason why I wanted to go to start with) but like everyone says, it's absolutely down to the individual. Really, whatever feels most comfortable. I was told the same before my first meeting and now am confident it's truthful advice.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Most people are not overjoyed to say to themselves "I'm an alcoholic. I better go to an AA meeting".
What you are doing takes a great deal of courage. You should be proud for making an effort. Please report back and let us know how it went.
What you are doing takes a great deal of courage. You should be proud for making an effort. Please report back and let us know how it went.
Simply Grateful
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 211
Laura (great name... I'm a Laura),
I am bad at talking at AA. I'm really a quiet, introverted person and don't like talking about my personal life with strangers. I also don't like hugging which is what they do here all the time. I have also had other people make comments in their share about how "they think it's wrong for people to pass because anything we say might help someone else." True and false. I've listed to a lot of "being sober is great","I'm glad I'm sober","I never want to go back" -- yada yada yada. That stuff doesn't help me. I always want to know HOW people get sober and stay sober, not just that it feels great because it doesn't feel so great to me (yet). So anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is just BE YOU. Talk if you want and don't sweat it if you don't feel like it.
I am bad at talking at AA. I'm really a quiet, introverted person and don't like talking about my personal life with strangers. I also don't like hugging which is what they do here all the time. I have also had other people make comments in their share about how "they think it's wrong for people to pass because anything we say might help someone else." True and false. I've listed to a lot of "being sober is great","I'm glad I'm sober","I never want to go back" -- yada yada yada. That stuff doesn't help me. I always want to know HOW people get sober and stay sober, not just that it feels great because it doesn't feel so great to me (yet). So anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is just BE YOU. Talk if you want and don't sweat it if you don't feel like it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
The good stuff you will read are people like me who have gone and got sober in AA. The bad stuff is either people who have never been or have gone with no intention of seriously stopping drinking in the first place.
When someone bad mouths AA it reminds me of the high school college drop out who tries to convince everyone he meets that high school is for idiots whilst the majority at high school get on with it and reap the benefits.
If you really want to get sober and stay that way for good go to AA, just listen and look and I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised.
When someone bad mouths AA it reminds me of the high school college drop out who tries to convince everyone he meets that high school is for idiots whilst the majority at high school get on with it and reap the benefits.
If you really want to get sober and stay that way for good go to AA, just listen and look and I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I would say go if just to see what it is like. I attend AA meetings and like the feeling of finally fitting in with people. It is comforting to know that there are other people out there like me and who understand. I don't always share in meetings. It depends on if I have something to add or not.
Not all meetings have the hugging that SoulKat describes. Hugging is not a prerequisite for AA membership. Try different meetings as they all have their own vibes. I think it is great to go on a Friday night. I attend a beginners meeting on Fridays which is very social. Weekend evening meetings tend to be more social in nature - probably because people are looking for things to do that don't involve drinking among like minded people.
Not all meetings have the hugging that SoulKat describes. Hugging is not a prerequisite for AA membership. Try different meetings as they all have their own vibes. I think it is great to go on a Friday night. I attend a beginners meeting on Fridays which is very social. Weekend evening meetings tend to be more social in nature - probably because people are looking for things to do that don't involve drinking among like minded people.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Good news you are going to a meeting.
No need to say a word if you don't want to,in fact you will probably get more from your first meeting if you sit and listen.I hope it goes well for you.
No need to say a word if you don't want to,in fact you will probably get more from your first meeting if you sit and listen.I hope it goes well for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 92
And you may know this but there are many different kinds of meetings. A speaker meeting might be good because you truly can just sit back and listen.
I've been to about a dozen in the last couple of weeks sort of testing the waters at different ones around the city. My experience is that people are welcoming but understand it takes time to get used to things.
Saying you're new or just listening is perfectly acceptable.
The hardest part is physically walking in for the first one. Bring your body. Your mind will get there eventually!
Good luck!
I
I've been to about a dozen in the last couple of weeks sort of testing the waters at different ones around the city. My experience is that people are welcoming but understand it takes time to get used to things.
Saying you're new or just listening is perfectly acceptable.
The hardest part is physically walking in for the first one. Bring your body. Your mind will get there eventually!
Good luck!
I
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