The door swings both ways.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
The door swings both ways.
I've been bored today, hanging out here more then usual today, as you can probably tell.
Anyway the one thing that comes to mind when I read about the newcomers struggle is how hard it can be. It brings me back to when I was just getting into this whole AA deal. I was relapsing, and the relapses were getting worse and worse, with longer and longer relapses. I had no clue what to do to stay sober. I just kept goingback to AA. Everytime I got drunk, I would sober up and hit the meetings yet again.
The door would swing both ways. Me leaving and me coming back. I had that analogy in my head for the longest time, until an old timer said a few words on relapsing.
He said, it does not have to be a part of recovery. He was what we call a one-timer. He got the AA program right away, and went for it. His analogy that sticks in my head to this day is we are like men swinging from a rope off a cliff. Everytime we relapse, we are cutting the smaller strings that make up the rope. Until one day, we cut too many strings from the rope and we free-fall. Then that swinging door to a possible means of recovery called AA, the door snaps shut and locks. Never to come back through the doors again. All that is required is to perhaps knock on the door, or stick around. But the rope is cut clean through.
God can only give so many chances. He can give us the tools to recovery, but we have to be wise enough to use the tools provided. God can give me the willingness, but without my actions I do nothing.
So if the term or word God, Higher Power offends you, or you are turned off by it. Tell me this, where has your own will power brought you? Where has your own brightest and greatest thinking brought you? All I can say is lay aside prejudice, open your mind to a new way of thinking and living.
Definition of prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Anyway the one thing that comes to mind when I read about the newcomers struggle is how hard it can be. It brings me back to when I was just getting into this whole AA deal. I was relapsing, and the relapses were getting worse and worse, with longer and longer relapses. I had no clue what to do to stay sober. I just kept goingback to AA. Everytime I got drunk, I would sober up and hit the meetings yet again.
The door would swing both ways. Me leaving and me coming back. I had that analogy in my head for the longest time, until an old timer said a few words on relapsing.
He said, it does not have to be a part of recovery. He was what we call a one-timer. He got the AA program right away, and went for it. His analogy that sticks in my head to this day is we are like men swinging from a rope off a cliff. Everytime we relapse, we are cutting the smaller strings that make up the rope. Until one day, we cut too many strings from the rope and we free-fall. Then that swinging door to a possible means of recovery called AA, the door snaps shut and locks. Never to come back through the doors again. All that is required is to perhaps knock on the door, or stick around. But the rope is cut clean through.
God can only give so many chances. He can give us the tools to recovery, but we have to be wise enough to use the tools provided. God can give me the willingness, but without my actions I do nothing.
So if the term or word God, Higher Power offends you, or you are turned off by it. Tell me this, where has your own will power brought you? Where has your own brightest and greatest thinking brought you? All I can say is lay aside prejudice, open your mind to a new way of thinking and living.
Definition of prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Prejudice was one thing I brought into AA, along with a little willingness. My prejudice kept me away from AA and almost killed me. I didn't like the god word or the thought of a power greater than myself. That is until I realised that alcohol was a power greater than me.
For the first few weeks the god word made me very uncomfortable, not so much from that prejudicial view but because the word god was contained in certain steps I was too frightened to face. I made the group my hp to start with, but then they said prayer was important so I began praying to...I know not what.
My life changed. I found myself able to tackle those difficult steps and at the end of the process, although I have no formal religion, I am now quite happy with the word God. It means something to me, and I can't think of a better word.
With a little help, and some solid evidence, I was able to sweep away that prejudice.
For the first few weeks the god word made me very uncomfortable, not so much from that prejudicial view but because the word god was contained in certain steps I was too frightened to face. I made the group my hp to start with, but then they said prayer was important so I began praying to...I know not what.
My life changed. I found myself able to tackle those difficult steps and at the end of the process, although I have no formal religion, I am now quite happy with the word God. It means something to me, and I can't think of a better word.
With a little help, and some solid evidence, I was able to sweep away that prejudice.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by matt4x4 
I've been bored today, hanging out here more then usual today, as you can probably tell.
Anyway the one thing that comes to mind when I read about the newcomers struggle is how hard it can be. It brings me back to when I was just getting into this whole AA deal. I was relapsing, and the relapses were getting worse and worse, with longer and longer relapses. I had no clue what to do to stay sober. I just kept goingback to AA. Everytime I got drunk, I would sober up and hit the meetings yet again.
The door would swing both ways. Me leaving and me coming back. I had that analogy in my head for the longest time, until an old timer said a few words on relapsing.
He said, it does not have to be a part of recovery. He was what we call a one-timer. He got the AA program right away, and went for it. His analogy that sticks in my head to this day is we are like men swinging from a rope off a cliff. Everytime we relapse, we are cutting the smaller strings that make up the rope. Until one day, we cut too many strings from the rope and we free-fall. Then that swinging door to a possible means of recovery called AA, the door snaps shut and locks. Never to come back through the doors again. All that is required is to perhaps knock on the door, or stick around. But the rope is cut clean through.
God can only give so many chances. He can give us the tools to recovery, but we have to be wise enough to use the tools provided. God can give me the willingness, but without my actions I do nothing.
So if the term or word God, Higher Power offends you, or you are turned off by it. Tell me this, where has your own will power brought you? Where has your own brightest and greatest thinking brought you? All I can say is lay aside prejudice, open your mind to a new way of thinking and living.
Definition of prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Anyway the one thing that comes to mind when I read about the newcomers struggle is how hard it can be. It brings me back to when I was just getting into this whole AA deal. I was relapsing, and the relapses were getting worse and worse, with longer and longer relapses. I had no clue what to do to stay sober. I just kept goingback to AA. Everytime I got drunk, I would sober up and hit the meetings yet again.
The door would swing both ways. Me leaving and me coming back. I had that analogy in my head for the longest time, until an old timer said a few words on relapsing.
He said, it does not have to be a part of recovery. He was what we call a one-timer. He got the AA program right away, and went for it. His analogy that sticks in my head to this day is we are like men swinging from a rope off a cliff. Everytime we relapse, we are cutting the smaller strings that make up the rope. Until one day, we cut too many strings from the rope and we free-fall. Then that swinging door to a possible means of recovery called AA, the door snaps shut and locks. Never to come back through the doors again. All that is required is to perhaps knock on the door, or stick around. But the rope is cut clean through.
God can only give so many chances. He can give us the tools to recovery, but we have to be wise enough to use the tools provided. God can give me the willingness, but without my actions I do nothing.
So if the term or word God, Higher Power offends you, or you are turned off by it. Tell me this, where has your own will power brought you? Where has your own brightest and greatest thinking brought you? All I can say is lay aside prejudice, open your mind to a new way of thinking and living.
Definition of prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
and good thoughts shared
MM
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Thank you Matt - good thread. Great insight. I'm working on finding an AA group in my area, and even though I will be honest in saying I'm nervous, I am 100% ready, and it's because of people's words and support here like what you just said above that makes me realize that this is vital to my recovery. Thank you again!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Dee74
There are many ways to get into recovery, but I'm really glad you found a way that works for you Matt 
D
D
that what Matt has shared here
has worked for many many thousands
MM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
Great post and good analogy. To answer your question, the most my will power ever brought me was 90 days. Being completely out of answers brought me the longest amount of sober time I've had in my life.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
We need to note here Dee
that what Matt has shared here
has worked for many many thousands
MM
that what Matt has shared here
has worked for many many thousands
MM
It's open to anyone, and any kind of recovery programme, including, but not only, AA
D
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
I'm very glad that you were able to use god in that way. I have the same feelings you had or have still. The praying at all of the meetings makes me extremely uncomfortable. I was raised religious as well, but the higher power thing is what keeps me away from meetings all together. I have been in recovery from drugs for 8 years and did it on my own, but because I had to. The path I have taken and things I have seen and read just do not allow me to fall into that system of beliefs like that. I am on my 5th day of no beers and was at a 20+ a day habit. I really should be in AA but the anger and sadness I feel after knowing I can't believe what everyone around me is kinda just leaves me more lonely. I'm so glad that you were able to make it work for you tho and wish that your journey keeps moving in a positive and uplifting direction.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
I have found that changing my mind in recovery has been essential Matt.
At the end of my drinking, when i could bear to look in a mirror, i saw the results of this 52 year old man living by his rules and his cherished beliefs. Bloated, yellow, crying and without hope or light in his eyes. Clutching an empty bottle....
My design for living, that i clung to for grim death, had failed me utterly. And could hardly recommend it to others?? Lol.
No, i need a new plan, new ideas and a willingness to try them.
Desperation gave me that, and that's what has worked for me for a good few days now.
At the end of my drinking, when i could bear to look in a mirror, i saw the results of this 52 year old man living by his rules and his cherished beliefs. Bloated, yellow, crying and without hope or light in his eyes. Clutching an empty bottle....
My design for living, that i clung to for grim death, had failed me utterly. And could hardly recommend it to others?? Lol.
No, i need a new plan, new ideas and a willingness to try them.
Desperation gave me that, and that's what has worked for me for a good few days now.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Look I just thought I would post something the other day, where a newcomer would most likely read it. I am not trying to shove anything down anyones throat, its just one way that has helped not only thousands, but millions upon millions of suffering alcoholics.
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