Needinghelp82

Ok,

Hugely embarrassed by this but I am finally at the point go admitting I have a problem.

I'm 31 and, to look from the outside, you'd not realise. I hold down a full time (demanding) job, have a wonderful husband and soon to be six year old daughter.

For several years I've been suffering from an anxiety disorder. As a way to cope I started drinking. That has tuned into at least a bottle of wine every day.

I thought I could cut down myself - was great for a few weeks but then it started up again.

My anxiety is at a complete high now - I want a drink to stop it but that will just make things worse.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I'm terrified but I'm also sick of feeling terrible all of the time.

Not sure what I'm hoping to gain fom posting.

Dee74

No need to be embarrassed - we've all been there NeedingHelp
I'm glad you're seeing your Dr - it's the sensible thing to do.

Let us know how you get on
Welcome aboard

D

Needinghelp82

Thank you.

I'm just tired of it all. Right now it's almost midday and I'm still in pj's because I can't face getting dressed. If I get dressed I will want a drink, if I have the drink I'm fuelling the problem.

It's a horrible cycle. I really hope my GP understands.

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Needinghelp82

Thank you.

I feel quite unwell with my anxiety and I'm feeling physically sick. I can't believe I let myself get to this point.

Dee74

I'm sure your GP has heard similar stories before - you'll be fine

D

Needinghelp82

I'm sure he has it's just hard to believe I'm at this point. I'd convinced myself I could control it but I know that isn't true.

My husband deserves a better wife and my child deserves a better mum. I can't believe it's taken so long to admit that.

PamperingMe

I can relate to your story. You are not alone. I felt like I deserved a reward for working at a demanding job, being a mom, etc. I also suffer from anxiety and used alcohol to get "instant" relief. I'm realizing the alcohol made it worse in part because I was unfocused, less productive and felt overwhelmed.

So proud of you for asking for help.

Treerat66

Hi Needinghelp82, welcome to SR.

Needinghelp82

I'm just starting to open my eyes to how much alcohol is exacerbating my anxiety.

My husband drinks at weekends and even he has been asking me to get help. The other day I found out he'd been speaking to his aunt about my habit - I was furious at him! Only sober can I see he's been calling out for support that I haven't been giving to him.

I'm scared about tomorrow but need to sod something.

Thank you all for the welcome

LadyinBC

Welcome to SR. You will find lots of support here.

Please do not be embarrassed we have all been there. There is no judgements here.

PamperingMe

I would get heightened anxiety/panic attacks and want the intensity to go away immediately. Wine mostly but I was starting to use vodka straight. Yes, I felt ...not better exactly....just something else. It didn't last. Then I felt worse so I'd drink to drown that out.

I went to my doctor yesterday for a check up on meds. I was honest. I told him my exact symptoms and why I was using alcohol. It was hard not to minimize it because I was embarrassed. We came up with a plan together.

I hope that your doctor can help you. If s/he doesn't seem helpful, possibly find another. It's so hard when you are finally ready to ask for help if the person you ask isn't a good fit. I used that as an excuse several times to continue drinking.

You have momentum. You have support. You are not alone. You've got this!

Applekat

Good luck, needinghelp. I'm new too and working on cutting down and cutting OUT the vino. I'm sick of being a captive to it.

Hugs.

Needinghelp82

You have just described exactly what it is! I drink wine but, last weekend, hubby bought a bottle of vodka. Lunchtime, feeling stressed, I had a shot. No idea why other than I thought it would make me feel better.

My GP has been great about my anxiety so I'm hoping he will be understanding. I'm worried but I am finally ready if that makes sense? I did make the appointment with my GP when I was offered another. I don't think I could discuss this with a stranger.

nana622

Welcome! Don't be embarrassed, we are all here for the same reason, group support!

Alkaline

^That. 8 weeks sober now and have definitely noticed that the anxiety has greatly diminished.

PamperingMe

How are you holding up?
You were in my thoughts today.

Needinghelp82

Thank you. Today has been tough, can't sleep now but I've not touched a drop. Just hoping I have the strength to carry this on.

roguedreams

You HAVE the strength, believe it!!!! Look at how much strength it's taken to do what you do - AND drink. It's exhausting!

I feel ya a bit on the anxiety. One of the reasons I drank was to calm my nerves. Ironically, the best way for us to calm our nerves is to face our fears - as they come along. Don't worry about tomorrow, focus on the next fear you have, and ATTACK IT. Head on! Grab that bull by the horns! No more identifying with it or letting it exhaust you. And you'll gain momentum, as you tackle small fears and realize you can do it... just like you've made it this far without a drop (when maybe you were afraid you couldn't). See? You CAN!

Anyway, I'm kinda pumped up today, sorry if that's over the top. LOL. Hang tight!!! Let us know how your appt goes tomorrow!

Dollyangel17

Hi there...

I am also a wife to a wonderful man, and mom to a 7 year old daughter. I was also drinking heavily, for the first 6 years of her life. I am an anxious mom, and drinking became my coping mechanism.

I was a daily drinker, and had gotten to the point of drinking in the morning before work and on my lunch hour in a bathroom stall.

I knew I had a problem, and was miserable, but it wasn't until my husband confronted me and I knew it was time to quit.

So here I am...getting close to a year if sobriety, and so much happier and healthier! If I can do it.,.SO CAN YOU!! Hang in there...it's worth it!