Findmyhappy

So I initially decided to give up drinking purely for weight loss after realizing its what has caused me to put on 20 lbs in the last year. I stumbled upon this site mostly looking for motivation and after reading people's stories over the last week, I realize I have a lot in common with a lot of you! I'm on day 10 today and even though it hasn't been much of a struggle to say no, I find myself acknowledging that I do have a problem with alcohol. I'm 28 yeas old and have struggled with an addictive past for most of my life with an eating disorder. I've been to in patient treatment multiple times and my most recent relapse was last year (somehow I pulled myself out). I always drank moderately on weekends until I turned 21 and then found myself drinking a glass of wine or 2 on most days (my dad passed away a month before I turned 21 so I can't say if that contributed or it was just that I was legal to drink). I've been through a string of bad relationships as well as a few traumatizing experiences in my early adulthood and found alcohol as a way to cope. My drinking didn't really get out of hand until a year and a half ago when I lost my job and starting drinking sometimes early in the day. I had no motivation to do anything which isn't like me at all. I've gone as far as going through an entire liter of wine on a really bad day and couldn't remember the last time I went a day without a drink. I was just sick of it (along with obsessing over the calories I was taking in). I woke up last Thursday and just decided it was time and haven't had a drop since. I've made it through all the challenges that I thought would be difficult and still haven't been tempted enough to even think about it. I am a bartender so I was worried that this would cause me some trouble especially since the owner is a heavy drinker and always passing out shots. I almost got a high of saying no thank you! I'm glad that I have turned my interests back into eating right and going to the gym but I'm a little concerned with how much I've been obsessing about my weight since I've stopped. I don't want to give up one problem just to create another. No one knows exactly how much I was drinking so I guess this is my way of freeing my secret. It sure feels good!

Jade1224

Welcome to SR! So glad you are here!

I relate to your post because I also have an issue with food. Alcohol and food issues go hand in hand for me. I stopped drinking mainly because I would get drunk and then not want to go work out the day after. Plus I would binge eat after a few cocktails because I deprive myself when I am sober.

It's an unhealthy way to live. I only have a few pounds to lose (and some people say I don't even need to lose weight) but when I was drinking the few extra pounds, in my head, was unbearable and unacceptable.

I am on day 5 and I am happy to say that I am feeling healthier about my mind, body, and soul. I have more acceptance for me AND my flaws. Don't be hard on yourself because it is a trap.

I know from experience that obsessing over calories is not a way to live. Eating healthy, working out, staying away from drinking, and indulging in food when we need to will do wonders for your body but it takes some time. So don't feel discouraged if it doesn't happen right away.

Glad you are here and keep posting!

Hevyn

Welcome Findmyhappy.

I'm glad you felt relieved by posting your decision. When I joined SR I was so thankful to have others to talk to who knew what I was going through. You sound optimistic and ready to do this. Congratulations.

Fleonard36

[QUOTE=Findmyhappy;4557514] the owner is a heavy drinker and always passing out shots. I almost got a high of saying no thank you! QUOTE]

Hi 'Findmy';

Regarding your experience in saying "no thanks" when offered a drink, I find that I feel an intense sensation of power. Saying "I don't use alcohol", looking them straight in the eye, with a big smile, takes 'power' and demonstrates this power to all in the area. I love it!
Floyd.

LBrain

obviously you are not 'powerless' over alcohol. Keep on using your power to say NO. Eventually it won't even be tempting or remotely challenging. Keep it up.

least

I'm glad you gave up drinking. It's no good for us and can lead to a lot of trouble.