eep9222

I have really only shared this with my psychologist and close family, and they seems to think it is more hypochondria/OCD then it is a real problem. I really would like a perspective of the community on what you think.

Im a 33 year old normal guy. I drank no more than my peer group in college, which probably included binging 2-3 times per week at the local bars. Not even close to the life of the party and always seemed to leave a little early from the bar to go to sleep while the guys continued drinking for another 3 hours latenight. Fast forward to after college, I was still continuing to binge about 2 times a week (I would say 7-8 drinks, all consumed at night). No huge developments there. Got real drunk a few times over the years (maybe 3-4 blackouts in my whole life but always right at the end of the night before going to bed). Never effected work, relationships, etc. In mid 20s, started drinking about 2 glasses of wine, a few nights a week, while continuing to go out on the weekends for a binge or 2. No huge developments here. No one ever told me or confronted me saying I had an issues. Over 5 years ago, I had an thought that those habits were not the healthiest thing in the world since and since I read an article on alcoholism that scared the sh*t out of me, I did not want to go down that path. So I basically stopped drinking in that quantity right away. It was a little weird for a little since socially most things with my friends involved going out and getting wasted, but I got by. I wouldn’t mind a having a glass of wine after work still, but know that’s not the best habit to get into. Something like that thought scares the heck out of me, and I seem to overanalyze what all that meant.

For the last 5 years, maybe I will have 1 or 2 drinks at a couples dinner on Saturday night. Sometimes go 2-3 weeks without anything. Don’t have those nightly glasses of wine anymore. I’ve been “drunk” maybe 3 times in the last 5 years, all those times being about 4-5 drinks. One was a birthday, one new years, and one concert. Not for no good reason haha.

But for some reason, that article I read 5 years ago really triggered my hypochondria and OCD thinking that I might be an alcoholic because of the drinking I did in college and my early 20s. I constantly dwell on the fact that I was drinking well above the “legal limits” and if I crossed the line then, I will eventually become crazy and out of control. It honestly scares me every day. Everyone I’ve told about this thinks I’m nuts (family and psychologist), but I can’t get past the fear and anxiety that I am/or will become an alcoholic. I keep thinking to myself that it is fun to have a drink or two with friends or to have a beer when watching a baseball game and that makes me think its some sort of warning sign. If I do go out to a game with friends and have a drink, Ill have 1 or 2 beers and make sure I don’t get too tipsy in case I need to drive. All the self-analyzation drives me nuts! I just wanted some thoughts from everyone here… I want to make sure I am going down the correct road
Thanks in advance

brazilian

For me, the correct road is not drinking at all.

Doesn't matter if I can drink 2-3 beers and stop (I really can, always could).

All that matters is my choice of being sober 100% of the time and taking good care of my health, respecting myself and honoring the body I received to live in this crazy planet.

Let's face it, society in general is made of drunks, everybody thinks that getting wasted now and then is a "normal thing"... but it's an oppinion of a sick society, so I don't listen to it. Alcohol is poison to my body. Period. That's how I think today.

Lance40

Welcome to SR. What kind of support are you looking for here? Since you are dealing with OCD and hypochondriasis about alcoholism, you'll have to keep in mind that the replies you will receive are in the context of a sobriety forum for members identifying with having a drinking problem and dealing with it by the desire or commitment to abstinence. With kindness, honesty & respect - I'm not sure how helpful that will be to your situation. No one is likely to encourage you to drink any amount of alcohol, and that may add fuel to the fire.

If you were to make the decision to quit drinking, would that quell your demons of fears and obsessive thoughts, or is there something deeper and more fundamental about what it means to apply a label to yourself - even if it is just related to past behaviours?

I wish you the best.

eep9222

Thanks for reply. I completely understand your viewpoint and do not want to minimize anyones recovery and recovery efforts. Everyone on here seems very brave. My reason for the post was to see, mainly, if this is a story you have heard before that has gone down a rough path. My intentions were to see if my situation mimicked anyone's on here, and if i should be worried.

I know everyone has their own story and I appreciate it, so maybe now that I look at it, It was a selfish question and possibly posted in the wrong context

Thanks for the reply

IOAA2

Hi. No one can declare another person as being an alcoholic. It's a self diagnostic illness. For me it's a fact that I can not drink in safety even if it's been +30 years since my last drink. If drinking is a big deal then it may be a problem. If it's a problem it will never get better if we continue to drink. A light drinker consumes about 1 beer, 1 glass of wine or a mixed drink every other week. I never fit that group.

BE WELL

least

It doesn't matter what you call yourself. If drinking is causing problems in your life then maybe best to give it up. Go three months without drinking at all and see how you feel.

Dee74

Hi and welcome eep

I'm not a Dr, or a close friend of yours so I can't comment on whether your fears are with grounds or not.

I don't think anyone here can really.

All I can offer you is the observation that my life is just fine without alcohol.

Millions of people don't drink...and not all of them have heavy drinking pasts - some abstain for health reasons, religious reasons, temperament reasons.

Is a life without drinking something you think you could do, or not?

D