I don't want to be an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Dubai
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by Anna 
Hi Kiki,
Not one of us wants to be an alcoholic.
I don't go to bars at all or anywhere that alcohol is the main focus, ever. It's a change I gladly made in order to recover and get back my self-respect. There are tons of sober people out there and tons of things to do that are fun, and don't involve alcohol.
And, I am many things - mother, grandmother, wife, friend, volunteer, co-worker, and, yes, alcoholic.
Not one of us wants to be an alcoholic.
I don't go to bars at all or anywhere that alcohol is the main focus, ever. It's a change I gladly made in order to recover and get back my self-respect. There are tons of sober people out there and tons of things to do that are fun, and don't involve alcohol.
And, I am many things - mother, grandmother, wife, friend, volunteer, co-worker, and, yes, alcoholic.
I'm willing to give AA a go, but I don't want my life to revolve around it... I want to be able to see my friends. Will it ever happen? Can it ever happen?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by kiki1988
Are any of you able to go to bars with your friends who are not problem drinkers and have a red bull or whatever?
My entire social life, from gigs, to brunches to birthdays and the like. It's ALL alcohol related.
Do I really have to leave everyone and everything I know right now behind? All my family and old friends live thousands of miles away.
Will I ever be able to go to a bar and have fun sober?
My entire social life, from gigs, to brunches to birthdays and the like. It's ALL alcohol related.
Do I really have to leave everyone and everything I know right now behind? All my family and old friends live thousands of miles away.
Will I ever be able to go to a bar and have fun sober?
The truth is, I had to change my life - my life revolved around drinking too.
Funny thing was, when I stopped drinking, I rediscovered a me I thought I'd lost.
Bars and partying lost their attraction for me. It all seems empty and superficial to me now.
Thats me tho. If the new you still wants to go out to bars and party soberly, you can - but I'd work up to it - take some time out and give the bars a miss for a while to really decide what you want to be.
You need to be majorly committed to stay sober in those kinds of atmospheres.
i made a heck of a lot of changes in my life. I lost touch with a lot of drinking bussies but I made a lot of new sober friends.
My life is way quieter, but it fits the real me.
I only ever went out to drink, just having mates around was camouflage.
I don't know of anyone who stays sober longterm and thinks they lost out on the deal.
Give it a try
D
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
I'll echo what others have said. No one wants to be an alcoholic. I never thought I would be one.
You need to be honest about what you want. Is it more important to you today to be sober or hang out with your friends and risk hating yourself for drinking? No one can answer that for you. You are the one who has to do the hard work. Know, though, that if you decide to be sober, you will find a ton of support from the people here.
Give yourself some credit. Four days sober is great!
You need to be honest about what you want. Is it more important to you today to be sober or hang out with your friends and risk hating yourself for drinking? No one can answer that for you. You are the one who has to do the hard work. Know, though, that if you decide to be sober, you will find a ton of support from the people here.
Give yourself some credit. Four days sober is great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Posts: 214
I know exactly how you feel! I announced to everyone back in 2008 that I was an alcoholic, went to detox and then started to go to AA mtgs as well. Sadly I was nowhere near ready to stay sober at that point and felt like I had opened a can of worms! The good news is I finally did get sober in 2012 though after many failed attempts and lots of wreckage along the way. It doesn't have to take you as long as it did me! Four days is a great start!
I go to AA meetings here and there and have found a couple that I like. I STILL don't buy everything about AA and certainly don't want to make it the center of my life either. Take what you can use and leave the rest! Don't let anyone tell you what you MUST be doing in AA or how to work your program (unless of course you opt to get a sponsor)!
In addition, there are many alternative paths in sobriety and it does get easier. And if you still want to go to bars with your drinking friends, think of the good you could do as a "designated driver"!
I go to AA meetings here and there and have found a couple that I like. I STILL don't buy everything about AA and certainly don't want to make it the center of my life either. Take what you can use and leave the rest! Don't let anyone tell you what you MUST be doing in AA or how to work your program (unless of course you opt to get a sponsor)!
In addition, there are many alternative paths in sobriety and it does get easier. And if you still want to go to bars with your drinking friends, think of the good you could do as a "designated driver"!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi Kiki,
I didn't like AA at all when I first went ten years ago. I thought it was very cult like and there are entire websites out there knocking AA for that very reason. However, I kept going here and there because the people understood what I was saying. I took another eight years of drinking before I started to understand and appreciate what AA is about. A lot of what I have learned I can apply to living a happier life whether I were an alcoholic or not. Some of it is just plain people skills that I never really learned along the way. The God stuff still sometimes does grate on me but I accept it in order to learn the other stuff that is offered.
One day at a time. Give sobriety a go for a bit. You might like it. I don't miss waking up feeling foul and barely able to function. As for the social aspect, if there are enough people to make up an AA meeting there are others around who don't drink when they socialize. You just may have to look a little harder for them.
I didn't like AA at all when I first went ten years ago. I thought it was very cult like and there are entire websites out there knocking AA for that very reason. However, I kept going here and there because the people understood what I was saying. I took another eight years of drinking before I started to understand and appreciate what AA is about. A lot of what I have learned I can apply to living a happier life whether I were an alcoholic or not. Some of it is just plain people skills that I never really learned along the way. The God stuff still sometimes does grate on me but I accept it in order to learn the other stuff that is offered.
One day at a time. Give sobriety a go for a bit. You might like it. I don't miss waking up feeling foul and barely able to function. As for the social aspect, if there are enough people to make up an AA meeting there are others around who don't drink when they socialize. You just may have to look a little harder for them.
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Good for makin it thus far! It does get better; but have to give it a chance @ very least. AA saved my life & for that will be forever grateful. So are you against Good Orderly Direction? I ran the show for a long time & made huge mess so when it was suggested that allow Him to run it & see for myself...wow! Not stressed about everyday stuff anymore, relationships are better, have more patience & less angrier than I used to plus other examples.
Btw, it's not a boring way to live. New friends I met & continue to meet are the most selfless people I've ever met & go on outings etc. It challenges me to get better
Btw, it's not a boring way to live. New friends I met & continue to meet are the most selfless people I've ever met & go on outings etc. It challenges me to get better
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