Close Call
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Close Call
I'm almost 5 months sober and yesterday was a close call. Long story short- I had a tough morning with my kids, they've been fighting alot. My teenage son has been really hard to deal with lately, pushing everyones buttons and just doesn't know when to stop. Typical teenage stuff but difficult and exhausting to deal with nonetheless. Ended up in a big argument with him. I lost my temper, screaming like a crazy woman! Not one of my finer parenting moments. Cried my eyes out for a good 20 minutes, before pulling myself together to go to a family luncheon at my sisters house. Well, I hadn't even thought of drinking over any of this UNTIL we got to my sisters. Within minutes of getting there I thought, "If she offers me a glass of wine I think I'll have one". I immediately felt nervous, knowing where my thought pattern was going. Knowing that even though I may have just one at her house, it would open the door to buying a whole bottle for later. Knowing this wasn't what I wanted but also knowing I would probably take her up on the offer. Thankfully she had no wine, but it scares me to think that I probably would have drank if she did.
After that moment I was fine, today I'm fine, no desire to drink. But its scary what might have happened in that one moment. That was the closest call I've had in the past 139 days - I felt like my mind was made up. I've gone to many social gatherings and easily said no thanks. I think the difference yesterday was that I didn't go in with a plan. I hadn't given drinking or not drinking a thought. I should have recognized that many of my triggers were present and had a plan going in. My AV swooped in at the last minute, before I had time to prepare, the only thing that saved me was that there was no alcohol. Spending some time today reflecting on what happened and what I need to do differently.
After that moment I was fine, today I'm fine, no desire to drink. But its scary what might have happened in that one moment. That was the closest call I've had in the past 139 days - I felt like my mind was made up. I've gone to many social gatherings and easily said no thanks. I think the difference yesterday was that I didn't go in with a plan. I hadn't given drinking or not drinking a thought. I should have recognized that many of my triggers were present and had a plan going in. My AV swooped in at the last minute, before I had time to prepare, the only thing that saved me was that there was no alcohol. Spending some time today reflecting on what happened and what I need to do differently.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 623
It is scary, Im sure, just goes to show how that AV is always lingering there...well done for not drinking, even though your sister didnt have any you still resisted the temptation to buy some. Well done 
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Friend-
First and foremost congratulations!
It is far better to have learned a valuable lesson from omission, than by admission.
You now know that cravings are born out of stress. And stress, like the wind, will come and go, without warning, for the rest of your life. This is yet another reason why today and today only, will always be the important day to remain clean and sober. Don't make the goal bigger than it needs to be, and sobriety won't feel so overwhelming.
STAY STRONG!
First and foremost congratulations!
It is far better to have learned a valuable lesson from omission, than by admission.
You now know that cravings are born out of stress. And stress, like the wind, will come and go, without warning, for the rest of your life. This is yet another reason why today and today only, will always be the important day to remain clean and sober. Don't make the goal bigger than it needs to be, and sobriety won't feel so overwhelming.
STAY STRONG!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I think an experience like that is valuable because you caught yourself being somewhat less than vigilant, and after an emotional time with your son. I'm glad you got through that.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Great job on getting through a rough day, 4ME!
I agree with another response that it might help in the longterm a little for you to tell your sister you've quit drinking. Even tho it was hard, I've been glad that I told several people, because now if I tried to drink when I was out with them, they'd give me THAT LOOK.
I agree with another response that it might help in the longterm a little for you to tell your sister you've quit drinking. Even tho it was hard, I've been glad that I told several people, because now if I tried to drink when I was out with them, they'd give me THAT LOOK.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Great job, ForMeForThem!!! I am so happy for you, that you resisted and stayed true to yourself!
Beautifully put. I'm more than three years in, and the thought of a drink still crosses my mind from time to time, especially in moments of extreme frustration or stress. But simply being aware of it—expecting it, like the occasional storm—sapped it of much of its power. I assume it will happen, so when it does, I recognize it immediately, before it has a chance to draw me into an internal debate.
So ForMeForThem, I guess my point is that I think in a way this was a really good milestone for you. The next one will be even easier to handle, because it won't take you by surprise. You're five months and cruising strong!
Originally Posted by Amajorityofone 
You now know that cravings are born out of stress. And stress, like the wind, will come and go, without warning, for the rest of your life.
So ForMeForThem, I guess my point is that I think in a way this was a really good milestone for you. The next one will be even easier to handle, because it won't take you by surprise. You're five months and cruising strong!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
We are very close in sobriety times, close to 5 months so from 1 near 6 monther to another, like someone said at a meeting Friday night, their negativity does not have to become our reality! We used to drink to rid ourselves of uncomfortable situations and people. Now we must do what most of the world does and that is handle it. How we do that is up to us, but we must not drink!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Thanks everyone - you gave me good perspective on this. Progress made and a lesson learned.
Progress that I didn't let that momentary lapse determine what I did the rest of the day. In the past, once that internal debate got strong and I made up my mind to drink, I would relapse despite red flags or chances to change my mind. I'm glad this time I was able to stop the thought process and get back on track. And a definite lesson learned - I'm just grateful I didn't have to learn it the hard way. Stress will always be a part of life (I loved the wind analogy) - so my priority in sobriety is to stay vigilant and remember each day, one day at a time, that I may have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, but I don't have to drink over them.
Progress that I didn't let that momentary lapse determine what I did the rest of the day. In the past, once that internal debate got strong and I made up my mind to drink, I would relapse despite red flags or chances to change my mind. I'm glad this time I was able to stop the thought process and get back on track. And a definite lesson learned - I'm just grateful I didn't have to learn it the hard way. Stress will always be a part of life (I loved the wind analogy) - so my priority in sobriety is to stay vigilant and remember each day, one day at a time, that I may have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, but I don't have to drink over them.
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