91 days today. I can't believe it!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 115
91 days today. I can't believe it!
I missed my 3 month mark because I haven't been counting but trying to live. I was curious this morning and opened an app I have that tracks my days and low and behold I have 91 sober days today. I'm in shock. I have never made it to three months in the last ten years besides being pregnant. Things are starting to get better. My anxiety was horrific in the beginning days and carried on through the last three months but I am going to therapy and working through those issues. I don't post often but come here and read everyday. Thank you to all who share and help. You have no clue how many of us who lurk in the shadows are so the thankful for you.
I had so many relapses over the last ten years I can't even count. It wasn't until I finally realized that relapse is NOT part of recovery. It's just not an option anymore. I dont want to keep starting over. I'm working on me and I took the booze out of the equation all together. Every relapse got worse. Every hangover more horrific. After all the binging and blackouts I'm lucky I even woke up the next day. Picking up again could very well mean death for me. Dying in my sleep or choking on my vomit. It is not worth it for that "one last time". Even though I'm having anxiety and at times feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I never want to go back to how I felt when I drank.
I had so many relapses over the last ten years I can't even count. It wasn't until I finally realized that relapse is NOT part of recovery. It's just not an option anymore. I dont want to keep starting over. I'm working on me and I took the booze out of the equation all together. Every relapse got worse. Every hangover more horrific. After all the binging and blackouts I'm lucky I even woke up the next day. Picking up again could very well mean death for me. Dying in my sleep or choking on my vomit. It is not worth it for that "one last time". Even though I'm having anxiety and at times feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I never want to go back to how I felt when I drank.
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