The A.V
The A.V
I wish my A.V was a human sized monster doll, id punch it so hard in the friggin face, tie a chain around its neck drag its useless backside to the deepest darkest depth of hell and leave it there!!!
SORRY just had to vent lol been fighting cravings!!
SORRY just had to vent lol been fighting cravings!!
do you have a boxing gym or a Muay Thai gym near you? This is a powerful way to take out your frustration on that bastard while at the same time working on health and letting out the steam that can undermine sobriety.
Go beat on the heavy bag!!
Go beat on the heavy bag!!
My AV is waiting in hiding right now; I'm just so determined to kick this at the moment. But she'll be back oh yes she will. I will often write about her. I once wrote about locking her up in a cage and that was effective albeit a bit out of the box.
Crazy thinking, otherwise known as AV-chatter, hits me when I go to a restaurant at which I used to like to drink.
Here are two examples of TRULY CRAZY AV-chatter I routinely hear:
AV-hit-song #1: "How selfish I am not to drink! I have to have a drink so my friend who is drinking can be more comfortable at this restaurant get-together."
AV-hit-song #2: "I am nearly the only person in the room who is not drinking. My tip to the wait-staff will be insultingly low since I am not jacking up the bill with drinks as everyone else is doing. And the wait-staff is so underpaid! Where is my compassion?"
The worst part of it is that this kind of thinking actually seems to make sense in the moment. Scary stuff.
Here are two examples of TRULY CRAZY AV-chatter I routinely hear:
AV-hit-song #1: "How selfish I am not to drink! I have to have a drink so my friend who is drinking can be more comfortable at this restaurant get-together."
AV-hit-song #2: "I am nearly the only person in the room who is not drinking. My tip to the wait-staff will be insultingly low since I am not jacking up the bill with drinks as everyone else is doing. And the wait-staff is so underpaid! Where is my compassion?"
The worst part of it is that this kind of thinking actually seems to make sense in the moment. Scary stuff.
Here's a fun visual:
Abstinence from alcohol is the same as putting my AV in a box and plugging his airhole, sentencing it to slow starvation and death. A craving is my AV's way of struggling and screaming for mercy. Whenever I get one I gleefully say, SCREAM AWAY you little turd! If I let you out you'll just stab me in the back. Keep screaming, I want to feel YOU suffer for a change!
It's a little warped, but it makes me happy to turn a craving into vengeance against my addction.
My AV is an adorable little kitten meowing at my laundry door. The more I feed it, the fatter and uglier and more annoying it gets. I want it to leave. I want it to stay next door. I don't care how cute it is!!
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