I'm an Alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Belleville On
Posts: 1
I'm an Alcoholic
Hello.
Today I spent the whole day in bed feeling horrible not only from being hungover but also from how I behaved after drinking 3 bottles of wine until 6 o'clock this morning. The sad part is I don't remember any of it. I awoke to a letter my boyfriend placed beside me. The letter describes how mean and hurtful I was and that he had enough of living with a drunk. My first reaction was to call him at his work and tell him off until I read further. I couldn't believe what I was reading I had hit bottom big time. Our evening together started out well. it was the usual finish work, pour a glass of wine ,start cooking some dinner and chat about our day. I remember that part of the evening but telling him in front of my daughter that I'm bored with him and sick of having sex to keep him happy, well, that part I don't remember. Nor do I remember calling a guy who I dated for a short time and broke it off because he is a drunk(how appropriate) that I wanted to have sex with him. My boyfriend cares for me so much that he stopped me from getting in my car drunk and driving to this guys house. He tried to put me to bed but I wouldn't stop . I then walked or I should say staggered over to my neighbors house and rang her doorbell at 4;30 in the morning waking her up so that I could cry on her shoulder about all my problems. To my surprise she was upset that I rudely woke her up and I proceeded to tell her that she's a bitch and a few other poor choices of words that she was to kind to clarify for me. Today I wished I was someone else ,anyone else other than me. I'm so ashamed and sick over what I've done. Not only have I hurt the man I love I've also embarrassed my 14 year old daughter with my drinking. I'm very scared because I know tomorrow when the dust has settled and my hangover is gone I would have no problem pouring myself a glass of wine. I'm not that religious but I did ask whoever is that higher above to please give me strength to do the right thing and stop getting drunk. I love my family and friends and never want to loose them but if I continue to drink I will . Very sad and scared.
Today I spent the whole day in bed feeling horrible not only from being hungover but also from how I behaved after drinking 3 bottles of wine until 6 o'clock this morning. The sad part is I don't remember any of it. I awoke to a letter my boyfriend placed beside me. The letter describes how mean and hurtful I was and that he had enough of living with a drunk. My first reaction was to call him at his work and tell him off until I read further. I couldn't believe what I was reading I had hit bottom big time. Our evening together started out well. it was the usual finish work, pour a glass of wine ,start cooking some dinner and chat about our day. I remember that part of the evening but telling him in front of my daughter that I'm bored with him and sick of having sex to keep him happy, well, that part I don't remember. Nor do I remember calling a guy who I dated for a short time and broke it off because he is a drunk(how appropriate) that I wanted to have sex with him. My boyfriend cares for me so much that he stopped me from getting in my car drunk and driving to this guys house. He tried to put me to bed but I wouldn't stop . I then walked or I should say staggered over to my neighbors house and rang her doorbell at 4;30 in the morning waking her up so that I could cry on her shoulder about all my problems. To my surprise she was upset that I rudely woke her up and I proceeded to tell her that she's a bitch and a few other poor choices of words that she was to kind to clarify for me. Today I wished I was someone else ,anyone else other than me. I'm so ashamed and sick over what I've done. Not only have I hurt the man I love I've also embarrassed my 14 year old daughter with my drinking. I'm very scared because I know tomorrow when the dust has settled and my hangover is gone I would have no problem pouring myself a glass of wine. I'm not that religious but I did ask whoever is that higher above to please give me strength to do the right thing and stop getting drunk. I love my family and friends and never want to loose them but if I continue to drink I will . Very sad and scared.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Welcome to the family. You will find so very much support here. We all have our battle wounds and horror stories. Believe me. They come with the territory. 
This too shall pass.
But don't let it do so without garnering the gift in this particular lesson.
This could just be your "before and after" moment.
This too shall pass.
But don't let it do so without garnering the gift in this particular lesson.
This could just be your "before and after" moment.
Closing the gates of Oblivion
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: OK, USA
Posts: 273
If you are ready and willing to do this, you might ask your boyfriend to assist you in finding help or admitting you to a treatment program. If this was not "rock bottom", then things might get worse.
I am glad you found SR and welcome you to a great support network. I am sorry to hear about your blackout. You are not alone in these type of actions and the daily regret that comes with them. You can change this and stop the madness that surrounds you.
I am glad you found SR and welcome you to a great support network. I am sorry to hear about your blackout. You are not alone in these type of actions and the daily regret that comes with them. You can change this and stop the madness that surrounds you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome 121234journey
Yeah, believe it or not many of us have stories like that...The really good thing is, you need never be in this situation again.
There's a ton of support and understanding here. You're not alone
D
Yeah, believe it or not many of us have stories like that...The really good thing is, you need never be in this situation again.
There's a ton of support and understanding here. You're not alone
D
I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good. Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome to SR.
This is a great place for support in stopping drinking. You can't change what you've done but you can stop it from ever happening again. If you stop drinking it won't happen again, you can make amends and people do forgive and forget.
If you keep drinking it, and worse, will happen again. Nothing changes if nothing changes
This is a great place for support in stopping drinking. You can't change what you've done but you can stop it from ever happening again. If you stop drinking it won't happen again, you can make amends and people do forgive and forget.
If you keep drinking it, and worse, will happen again. Nothing changes if nothing changes
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by 121234journey 
I know tomorrow when the dust has settled and my hangover is gone I would have no problem pouring myself a glass of wine.
A better life awaits.
Welcome to the fight of your life. Best of Luck on Your Journey.
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