What to do?
I have been sober for over 8 weeks. Excluding pregnancy, this is the longest period of my life without alcohol and I consider it an achievement.
Previously, I drank every evening with my husband. We sat in the living room, watched DVD's, ate and drank. If we were out in the evening at a non drinking event, we would drink on our return. My husband is drinking every night at the moment.
I am finding weekend evenings HARD. At times, I feel so ill at ease that I am near to tears. Monday to Thursday, between all family members, we have an event each night such as language classes, swimming lessons etc and that structure provides activities to divert me from drinking.
Some Fridays and Saturdays since getting sober, I have arranged to meet friends, babysit for others or go out with the family. But it's not a realistic plan to ask my husband to stay in with our young child every weekend night, it's not financially viable for the family to go all these nights, nor do I want to go out every night of the week. I enjoy my home.
However, since quitting, I have NEVER sat in my living room and watched TV. Nor have I eaten my favourite foods such as curry. These two seemingly innocent activities-watching TV and eating curry are so intertwined with drinking for me that I feel afraid of them.
As a consequence, on Friday and Saturday nights, if I am at home, I have no strategy for enjoying myself. My husband drinks and watches TV downstairs. I come up to bed REALLY early and look at SR.
My counsellor suggests I try to sit in the living room and watch TV for 30 mins only- sit through the discomfort and observe it. Tonight isFriday night and I can't reconcile the effort of pushing away thoughts of drinking with making myself do the things I did previously when drinking, without the drink.
I have supports in place for my sobriety-weekly mindfulness classes, alcohol counselling and SR. I also reward myself with treats such as manicures.
The absence of a satisfactory strategy for weekend nights at home is the biggest threat to my sobriety so far and I am reaching out for your ideas, thoughts and experiences.