Honest advice required
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 714
Originally Posted by LeeD82 
I don't consider myself an alcoholic. But then again, neither do most alcoholics.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
I think the best advice is to simply quit drinking. Let's face it, the thing is a f%&$# poison.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by SeaScape
Hi and welcome!
I will never forget the first time I realized that I was looking forward to drinking more than anything else that day. I heard a little voice in my mind that said "excuse me...you know this isn't normal right. Most people aren't looking forward to getting drunk alone as the highlight of their day...and you used to be like that". For me... I knew I had a real problem then. Oh and also waking up and panicking at 3am about...life. Everything.
This lifestyle was no bueno for me and totally unsustainable. I encourage you to listen to your body! Drinking is progressive...the issues only get worse exponentially!
I will never forget the first time I realized that I was looking forward to drinking more than anything else that day. I heard a little voice in my mind that said "excuse me...you know this isn't normal right. Most people aren't looking forward to getting drunk alone as the highlight of their day...and you used to be like that". For me... I knew I had a real problem then. Oh and also waking up and panicking at 3am about...life. Everything.
This lifestyle was no bueno for me and totally unsustainable. I encourage you to listen to your body! Drinking is progressive...the issues only get worse exponentially!
I drink alone ( I am happily married but I binge when my wife goes to bed about 11pm, I stay up until 4).
Not good at all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
While you can't necessarily escape those thoughts, there are many things you can do to learn to live with them. They do lessen in intensity and frequency over time as well.
The very first step you need to take however is admiiting/realizing that alcohol is a problem. Some do this by going to an AA meeting and vocally announcing that they are an alcholic. Some take an entirely different route. But the bottom line is realizing that you cannot take that first drink. It doesn't really matter how often or how much you drink either, sobriety is an all or nothing proposition. Do you think you are prepared to take that step?
The very first step you need to take however is admiiting/realizing that alcohol is a problem. Some do this by going to an AA meeting and vocally announcing that they are an alcholic. Some take an entirely different route. But the bottom line is realizing that you cannot take that first drink. It doesn't really matter how often or how much you drink either, sobriety is an all or nothing proposition. Do you think you are prepared to take that step?
But I agree with what you say.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Hi Lee, welcome to SR. Why not commit to NOT drinking this Saturday, and see how you feel? Your drinking pattern sounds very similar to my husband's. He can go for stretches without drinking and seem okay. But, once he starts- it's over. My hangovers (and his) have become SO much worse in our 30's. We both have quit and he's doing great too. He's working out a lot and getting into shape. Life is better without alcohol- It really is. If it's stealing that much time from you and your ability to feel good, cut it out for a while and see how you feel. Sending my best!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by EverySngleNight
Hi Lee, welcome to SR. Why not commit to NOT drinking this Saturday, and see how you feel? Your drinking pattern sounds very similar to my husband's. He can go for stretches without drinking and seem okay. But, once he starts- it's over. My hangovers (and his) have become SO much worse in our 30's. We both have quit and he's doing great too. He's working out a lot and getting into shape. Life is better without alcohol- It really is. If it's stealing that much time from you and your ability to feel good, cut it out for a while and see how you feel. Sending my best!
I used to be in hellishly good shape. Now, its an uphill struggle and missed goals.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by LeeD82
Anyway, I would be interested to know how bad people objectively think my drinking is.
I'd like a perspective.
I'd like a perspective.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
Originally Posted by LeeD82
Anyway, I would be interested to know how bad people objectively think my drinking is.
I'd like a perspective.
I'd like a perspective.
That said, you drink similarly to my husband and he does believe that he is an alcoholic because he can not control his drinking once he starts, and because no matter how crappy it made him feel- he'd do it anyway. He doesn't think that's a "normal" or "healthy" relationship with alcohol. I drank FAR more frequently than he did, but he'd take it way too far when he did drink. I'm really relieved not to see him blacked out. I'm also relieved not to have to deal with the occasional Mr. Hyde popping up. Neither were attractive to me. It's also really nice to have time together hangover free. I like seeing him like this, healthy and happy. Hope that helps.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by LeeD82
I'm really not into the whole AA meeting thing.
But I agree with what you say.
But I agree with what you say.
Out of curiosity, have you ever been to an AA meeting? I am not in a AA but I did go to some meetings early in sobriety. What exactly is it that you are "not in to" about the whole thing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Lee,it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or how your drinking compares to others. All that matter is what you think. Do you think drinking is affecting your life in a negative manner? Is it causing consequences that you'd rather it didn't. People who drink normally don't come to SR though. If you have to think about it and worry its out of control then it's already controlling you. Maybe give not drinking a go ?
I was just looking at the other thread on pot addiction. I too was a heavy smoker (every day between the ages of 14 and 20), and then I swapped it for booze at 21.
Frightening to think I've been emotionally dependent on drugs for well over half my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by EverySngleNight
I totally understand why you are asking this, but at the end of the day- what really matters is what YOU think IMO. If it's a problem for you, it's a problem.
That said, you drink similarly to my husband and he does believe that he is an alcoholic because he can not control his drinking once he starts, and because no matter how crappy it made him feel- he'd do it anyway. He doesn't think that's a "normal" or "healthy" relationship with alcohol. I drank FAR more frequently than he did, but he'd take it way too far when he did drink. I'm really relieved not to see him blacked out. I'm also relieved not to have to deal with the occasional Mr. Hyde popping up. Neither were attractive to me. It's also really nice to have time together hangover free. I like seeing him like this, healthy and happy. Hope that helps.
That said, you drink similarly to my husband and he does believe that he is an alcoholic because he can not control his drinking once he starts, and because no matter how crappy it made him feel- he'd do it anyway. He doesn't think that's a "normal" or "healthy" relationship with alcohol. I drank FAR more frequently than he did, but he'd take it way too far when he did drink. I'm really relieved not to see him blacked out. I'm also relieved not to have to deal with the occasional Mr. Hyde popping up. Neither were attractive to me. It's also really nice to have time together hangover free. I like seeing him like this, healthy and happy. Hope that helps.
Yes, you husband sounds a lot like me in some ways.
Thank you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
So try something else, AA is definitely not the only way to get sober, I just used it as an example. SMART recovery, AVRT, SR istself, Rational Recovery, the list is long.
Out of curiosity, have you ever been to an AA meeting? I am not in a AA but I did go to some meetings early in sobriety. What exactly is it that you are "not in to" about the whole thing?
Out of curiosity, have you ever been to an AA meeting? I am not in a AA but I did go to some meetings early in sobriety. What exactly is it that you are "not in to" about the whole thing?
And truth be told, I'd feel like a bit of a voyeur to all those people with really, really serious problems.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by LeeD82
And truth be told, I'd feel like a bit of a voyeur to all those people with really, really serious problems.
Best wishes!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by Longpasttime
I kind of felt that way too, but I finally went to a meeting last week and it helped me resolve to stop. I realized i didn't HAVE to lose everything, have some hideous bottom event or get to drinking every day before deciding to stop. I don't think anyone would begrudge you listening to their stories and benefiting from them, it is part of why they are there as well.
Best wishes!!
Best wishes!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by LeeD82
And truth be told, I'd feel like a bit of a voyeur to all those people with really, really serious problems.
And I would argue that you yourself have a potentially serious problem as well. You have self admittedly been addicted to pot for more than half of your life, and your drinking is affecting your health and ability to function at times. Do you not think that is a problem worthy of seeking attention/help for? You asked for honest advice so that's what you are going to receive.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Originally Posted by LeeD82
I don't consider myself an alcoholic. But then again, neither do most alcoholics.
Just to clarify. I don't drink during the week, and maybe have the odd one on Friday, but then Saturday night I seriously lay waste to myself.
If I go out I may have 15-20 pints of beer. If I stay in ... well ... last Saturday I had 6 pints of beer, and almost 2 bottles of red wine. The problem is now that it's starting to physically take its toll.
I'm 32, and for the last decade I could handle this input. Sure, on a Sunday I'd be hungover, but soon back to 100% on Monday morning after a great night's sleep.
But in the last 2 years or so, the hangover is dreadful. It sometimes lasts until about Wednesday. The problem is, I can no longer sleep whilst hungover. I also suffer from anxiety, and where alcohol once soothed it, it now makes it exponentially worse. So bad than even if I am literally exhausted, I can no longer get any sleep on a Sunday night. My head buzzes with fear and my heart feels like it's beating out of its chest.
Because of this very poor night's sleep, I'm barely functional for at least 2 days afterwards, and this is affecting my quality of life greatly.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
Any gratefully heard.
Just to clarify. I don't drink during the week, and maybe have the odd one on Friday, but then Saturday night I seriously lay waste to myself.
If I go out I may have 15-20 pints of beer. If I stay in ... well ... last Saturday I had 6 pints of beer, and almost 2 bottles of red wine. The problem is now that it's starting to physically take its toll.
I'm 32, and for the last decade I could handle this input. Sure, on a Sunday I'd be hungover, but soon back to 100% on Monday morning after a great night's sleep.
But in the last 2 years or so, the hangover is dreadful. It sometimes lasts until about Wednesday. The problem is, I can no longer sleep whilst hungover. I also suffer from anxiety, and where alcohol once soothed it, it now makes it exponentially worse. So bad than even if I am literally exhausted, I can no longer get any sleep on a Sunday night. My head buzzes with fear and my heart feels like it's beating out of its chest.
Because of this very poor night's sleep, I'm barely functional for at least 2 days afterwards, and this is affecting my quality of life greatly.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
Any gratefully heard.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by LeeD82
I don't consider myself an alcoholic. But then again, neither do most alcoholics.
Just to clarify. I don't drink during the week, and maybe have the odd one on Friday, but then Saturday night I seriously lay waste to myself.
If I go out I may have 15-20 pints of beer. If I stay in ... well ... last Saturday I had 6 pints of beer, and almost 2 bottles of red wine. The problem is now that it's starting to physically take its toll.
I'm 32, and for the last decade I could handle this input. Sure, on a Sunday I'd be hungover, but soon back to 100% on Monday morning after a great night's sleep.
But in the last 2 years or so, the hangover is dreadful. It sometimes lasts until about Wednesday. The problem is, I can no longer sleep whilst hungover. I also suffer from anxiety, and where alcohol once soothed it, it now makes it exponentially worse. So bad than even if I am literally exhausted, I can no longer get any sleep on a Sunday night. My head buzzes with fear and my heart feels like it's beating out of its chest.
Because of this very poor night's sleep, I'm barely functional for at least 2 days afterwards, and this is affecting my quality of life greatly.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
Any gratefully heard.
Just to clarify. I don't drink during the week, and maybe have the odd one on Friday, but then Saturday night I seriously lay waste to myself.
If I go out I may have 15-20 pints of beer. If I stay in ... well ... last Saturday I had 6 pints of beer, and almost 2 bottles of red wine. The problem is now that it's starting to physically take its toll.
I'm 32, and for the last decade I could handle this input. Sure, on a Sunday I'd be hungover, but soon back to 100% on Monday morning after a great night's sleep.
But in the last 2 years or so, the hangover is dreadful. It sometimes lasts until about Wednesday. The problem is, I can no longer sleep whilst hungover. I also suffer from anxiety, and where alcohol once soothed it, it now makes it exponentially worse. So bad than even if I am literally exhausted, I can no longer get any sleep on a Sunday night. My head buzzes with fear and my heart feels like it's beating out of its chest.
Because of this very poor night's sleep, I'm barely functional for at least 2 days afterwards, and this is affecting my quality of life greatly.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Perhaps some advice, or stories from people in the same situation.
Any gratefully heard.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
I can't do the poor quality sleep anymore. I have been through my share and no more crappy sleep and awful sleep patterns due to substance abuse and withdrawals.
There is something wonderful about natural sleep.
There is something wonderful about natural sleep.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Lee, have you a problem with going sober, as carrying on sounds like it could be worse !!
If you fancy going on the sobriety run try it out for a few months or longer, you never know it may just stick, and you might avoid some nasty problems later on.
John.
If you fancy going on the sobriety run try it out for a few months or longer, you never know it may just stick, and you might avoid some nasty problems later on.
John.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
