just need some advise
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: greensburg, pa
Posts: 1
just need some advise
Hi everyone,
I know you can help. My daughter is an addict. It started on pot, next pain killers, onto crack and oxy, then injecting heroine. We have been to 3 detoxes, 2 rehabs, and three half-way houses. She was to graduate from her last half-way house on June 29th. I found out today she hasn't been there since last Tuesday. I just got off the phone with her, she is living in a hotel with a bunch of people I know she does't know well. I know the signs...she is back to the lieing, the excuses, and the temper. Will this ever end? She is in Florida ( I tried to remove people..places...things) But I feel I must get on a plane immediately to come to her rescue once again. My husband says she is an adult, he is getting very tired of this. We do so much for her, but it keeps happening. Every time I loose a little bit more of myself. I have become very depressed myself, though I put on a great show for everyone else. I have 2 younger sons, and they are very resentful of what she has put the family through. I try to explaine the disease(I went to enough meetings with her) and try to help them understand, and encourage her progress. I know at some point I have to detatch myself, but I can't seem to do it. I hope I am not coming off selfish, but I think I really need help myself.. Any response would be appreciated.
Thank You
sportsmom
I know you can help. My daughter is an addict. It started on pot, next pain killers, onto crack and oxy, then injecting heroine. We have been to 3 detoxes, 2 rehabs, and three half-way houses. She was to graduate from her last half-way house on June 29th. I found out today she hasn't been there since last Tuesday. I just got off the phone with her, she is living in a hotel with a bunch of people I know she does't know well. I know the signs...she is back to the lieing, the excuses, and the temper. Will this ever end? She is in Florida ( I tried to remove people..places...things) But I feel I must get on a plane immediately to come to her rescue once again. My husband says she is an adult, he is getting very tired of this. We do so much for her, but it keeps happening. Every time I loose a little bit more of myself. I have become very depressed myself, though I put on a great show for everyone else. I have 2 younger sons, and they are very resentful of what she has put the family through. I try to explaine the disease(I went to enough meetings with her) and try to help them understand, and encourage her progress. I know at some point I have to detatch myself, but I can't seem to do it. I hope I am not coming off selfish, but I think I really need help myself.. Any response would be appreciated.
Thank You
sportsmom
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: pontiac, il.
Posts: 7
hello and welcome sportsmom. I think you have come to the right place you will find that alot of people may be going though the same situation. We have chats on monday and friday nights. but the one and most important thing you must remeber is that you can't make someone quit they have to want to themsevles for any kind of help will work. someone that can is really good with helping me out is megstar so if you have some time to look her up she probly has some good things to offer you.
hope i was of some help feel free to email me at any time,
caring friend
hope i was of some help feel free to email me at any time,
caring friend
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Alanona and Naranon would be a great start for you. Nobody will ever quit until they really WANT to quit, not when they "need" to quit. No Mom, Dad, brother, sister or spouse can get them to quit. While this may not be real comforting, it has been my expereince.
Detaching is more more difficult for some than others. For me, it is always a struggle. I'm much better at it today, as a result of great programs like Alanon. Do it for you!
Let us know how you are doing!
Tom
Detaching is more more difficult for some than others. For me, it is always a struggle. I'm much better at it today, as a result of great programs like Alanon. Do it for you!
Let us know how you are doing!
Tom
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome sportsmom!
Listen to hubby this time. They won't get until they're ready. The won't listen until they have hit their ultimate bottom, and as hard as it is to watch your baby girl go through this, it's time she do it alone. Learn to detach, go back to meetings, pray as I will for her, and don't rescue her anymore. I know it's so hard, but it's what must be done in order for her to find her own way.
Listen to hubby this time. They won't get until they're ready. The won't listen until they have hit their ultimate bottom, and as hard as it is to watch your baby girl go through this, it's time she do it alone. Learn to detach, go back to meetings, pray as I will for her, and don't rescue her anymore. I know it's so hard, but it's what must be done in order for her to find her own way.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
