Called

I think I'm actually at the point now where I can believe that I am powerless over my drinking. I certainly don't have any control over it - once I start, I stop only when I'm very, very drunk. What has bothered me is that I come off to some as "functional", I have a graduate degree and a job, etc. But I certainly don't see myself that way. I know that if I was sober, I would be a lot happier and very likely in a better financial position.

Anyway, I'm posting here because I'm wondering what it takes to actually get to the point where you do admit that you are powerless over your addiction. Is this something you learn gradually or does it hit you all at once? I mean, I woke up this morning feeling incredibly bad from a hangover (again) but I see myself as easily being able to convince myself to drink again. At 2:00 I will go to an AA meeting for the first time in almost a year, hopefully that will help me at least believe that recovery is possible, but I'm still struggling (somehow) with the notion that I powerless over this even though the evidence certainly suggests that I am.

least

I don't remember my "ah ha" moment. I just know that deep down inside I was sick and tired of my life and wanted to change it.

Recovery is most definitely possible. I thought I was a hopeless drunk but now I've got over four years sober. So put down the bottle and pick up a better life.

kluhs

i have been there so many times ... waking up feeling bad about my choice to drink too much (again) ... telling myself i need to stop doing this and committing to not drinking that day ... and then somehow talking myself into wine with lunch or dinner and repeating the whole cycle

the turning point for me was when I admitted that this will never get better and will definitely get worse and there is only ONE answer - no more alcohol ever - then i told my wife so that i was at least accountable to someone i love and trust

leane1

I have just started to read the Allen Carr easy way to control alcohol book, he explains the alcohol trap to that of a pitcher plant where the fly doesnt realise he is trapped because the poison is so sweet to him and by the time it does realise its too late to turn back. This really brought it home to me because that is exactly what alcohol is, a sweet addictive poison. Caller you dont need a light bulb moment or anyone else to tell you that you have an addiction to alcohol, you already know that, everyone who drinks does its the nature of the trap. Your biggest problem at the moment is thinking that you are powerless over it, you are not, you just need to realise that you have been deliberately trapped and fight with everything inside you to escape, human nature is a wonderful thing you just need to let your survival instincts kick in. I am only two days in and I know it will be a bumpy journey but I refuse to be trapped by anything in this world. Try reading the book it might help.

bigsombrero

It took several near-death experiences, including seizures and hospitalization to convince me to get help. My college degree and 10 years at a high profile PR & Advertising firm didn't help me one bit. Wish I could give you a better tip, but that's what worked for me. I hope you find an answer sooner than I did. Good luck.

Dee74

Like BigS I rode the crazy train to the end of the line, through the barricades and off the rails into the dirt...

but it doesn't have to be that way.

A decision for change can happen anytime, so can an acceptance of what we are.

If you've accepted the truth about your relationship with alcohol - the next step is to figure out what you do about it?

D