KareBear619

I look at myself in the mirror and am in total shock at the person that i made myself into. I never used to be a slave to drugs and alcohol. I never needed to "self-medicate". I wasn't raised that way. My parents are both hard working honest people and i was raised with a lot of love and trust. I wasn't raised to become the person i became.
But some where along the way i found Alcohol. It was my calling. I have been addicted since i first drank the stuff back when i was 17. At first it just started out with the occasional party on friday night. then started progressing to friday and saturday night. Then i just started drinking on my own, by myself in my room or house when my parents werent there.
I left my true friends behind and picked others who fit my new lifestyle. Ive been involved with drunk driving accidents (I never drove but i bought the alcohol for that night). I have sadly not remembered many nights because my friends just left me behind because i was too drunk. Never knew how i got home.. got in cars with strange men. Did things i can never get back.
Alcohol has ruined my family, and that is why i would drink more. Its still hard to say im an alcoholic, because i didnt have to drink every day. but when the weekend hit, or my days off came around i became suchhhh a different person to be able to get alcohol and drink it like it was some kind of race ..
i need help.

Willowgrace326

KareBear...your story sounds very similar to mine...so please know that you are not alone. You will find a lot of supportive people here that understand. Good job on making that first step

KareBear619

thank you very much (:
its hard to admit to myself some times :/

ArcticSA

Same here. I started wayy too young because alcohol seemed like magic to me in my insecure teenage mind. I had a ridiculous tolerance by 19 and had several underages and a DUI when I was only 17.
I too made so many horrible decisions and did so many awful, awful things my sober self would never do.

I too looked in the mirror and said "What have I become? What happened?"

And finally it clicks and you stop. You can stop. And everything gets better.
And even those awful memories start to fade and become easier to deal with. And you never have to go back there again.

GotGrace

Welcome KareBear. You will find so much support here. I encourage you to pursue sobriety now, while you are young. You will never, ever regret it. Big hugs to you!

least

I hope the support you'll find here can help you stop drinking for good.

Anna

KareBear, many of us have done things we are ashamed of while we were drinking. There is usually a lot of guilt and shame associated with alcoholism, which is what keeps us in the horrible cycle.

You don't have to continue to live this way. You can become the person you want to be.

WildernessVoice

Hi there Karebear,

So much of your story resonates with me. I just want you to know that I have done horrible things to myself and others along the drunken road of life too.
The good thing is you can stop right now and start your whole life over. I hope you will give yourself this chance at change because you deserve it.

Stay close to this site, lot's of great people who will support you!!!

Dee74

Hi and welcome KareBear619

There's a lot of support and understanding here. None of us are bad people, and it really is possible to be sober, happy and rediscover the new you.

do you have a plan to help you stay sober at all?

D

Hevyn

You're among friends KareBear - and we're very happy you joined us. We all understand how you're feeling. I think it will help you to talk things over here - it's so good to not be alone anymore.

KateL

So true. Welcome Karebear xxx