Marcher13

Betterlife as you can see a lot of us don't feel the need for explanations, in my case I say "No thanks" as Malcolm suggests and then if someone asks why "I feel so much better without it" which is true.

As it's early days for you I suggest two cautionary things to think about: as Carl suggested if this is going to come up a lot for you than you might want to rethink how you scialise in early recovery. I literally went nowhere but work and shopping for the first six weeks or so so I could get used to this new life.

Be careful about "not drinking tonight", the "tonight" suggests you may drink another time in your own mind and in others'.

SillyString

This sounds a little bit like you are already subconsciously planning to drink again. I used to play a mental game with myself where I'd not tell even my husband that I planned to quit or had actually quit, because then I'd have to really quit and stay quit. The truth for me was that I wasn't ready. I hadn't yet had my fill.

Just be careful, and keep posting!

JustSarah

Hi better life - I'm on Day 10 and doing the exact same as you - I haven't told anyone - I bought a diary where I put all of my thoughts and as yet haven't told my hubby - he will have noticed seen as I used to drink every night but I don't want to talk about it - not yet anyways

Good luck with your journey xx

LDT

Better life...I completely understand where you are coming from. I just said "No thank you" or "not drinking tonight" for a good while ....until I felt comfortable enough to say "I don't drink". I Said that when I finally believed it, and say it with ease now. I think you'll come to that in your own time.

DarkDays

In my many attempts at sobriety before I finally got it I used to try and get sober in secret but only because when I would slip up no one would ever know I was trying to get sober , so I was kind of using my secrecy as a " get out" if things got too hard sober.

You have to do what works for you , good luck ,good things await.

MythOfSisyphus

To admit you quit is also to admit you have a problem, at least on some level. When I quit few people would have suspected that I was a problem drinker. In my line of work nearly everyone drinks (and more) pretty hard, and I probably wasn't among the worst at my place of employment. I kind of framed it was me "just getting to old for this ****" and made a kind of joke about it. Those that know me pretty well, to them I talk a bit about how much I drank. But even then most of them are in the same boat so it doesn't raise an eyebrow.

LadyinBC

I was pretty selective on who I told when I first tried to quit. The only people I told were my daughter, immediate family, a few close friends and my alcohol counsellor.

The only people I will not tell is people I use to work with or people I currently work with. They just don't need to know.

You are not obligated to tell anyone or to explain to them why you are not drinking. I just say no thanks and move on.

The only thing I would caution you about is making sure that this isn't about your ego. My ego played a big part in me not wanting to give it up because for me it is about control. And I still have to keep my ego in check at times.

Otherwise I think people have to do what works best for them.

KateL

I only told the people who it had become glaringly obvious to that I had problems. Other than that, I agree with most that it is your business x

halfvictory

BetterLife: I am on day 31. I haven't told anyone i have quit for life (hoping). I told people I am on the wagon. I am like you..don't want to announce i am done then turn around and start drinking - I have done that before.

I do plan to "announce" it after a few months, though. An by "announce" i mean anyone who happens to ask. I don't plan on saying something randomly

ClearMind

I'm a very private person, so I don't plan on telling anyone I am in recovery. I've found using the "I'm training for a marathon" or "It makes me super sick lately, even if I only have one beer" responses work. Then of course you can use the old faithful "I'm driving tonight". I quit drinking for myself, so in my eyes I don't feel obligated to let anybody know.