Time to Quit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 37
Time to Quit
Hello . . . I am a long-time reader of this forum, and recently decided enough is enough.
I started drinking alcohol in 1986, as a teenager, largely to overcome my social awkwardness at teenage parties. In college I started binge drinking, and my drinking led to me being kicked out of school due to poor performance.
I eventually got my act together, and became a function alcoholic. I would still binge drink, but became disciplined enough to complete college, hold down a steady job, get married, have a kid, etc.
About severn years ago binge drinking became every day drinking . . . every evening as soon as my daughter went to sleep I would begin drinking, usually several glasses of white wine, and then several shots of vodka.
During this period I tried serval times unsuccessfully to quit. I could make it 1 - 3 days, nor problem, and sometimes 5 days. But I would always start drinking again.
What makes this even more problematic is that I developed several health problems due to my drinking. And even though I learned about these conditions, the consequence of my drinking failed to sink in. I have developed a hiatus hernia, gastritis, erosive esophagitis, and garrets esophagus, and yet I kept drinking.
The past few weeks I have felt terrible. I am in constant pain, and I think this has finally gotten my attention. I also started reading this forum, and reading the stories of others who have rationalized their drinking helped me realize that I was doing the same.
Anyway, thank you everyone who shared their stories on this forum. You have helped me understand the need to be honest about my behavior.
Of course I am really scared at the moment. I am scared that I have allowed these conditions to progress to a point where my life will be prematurely shortened.
That being said, I recognize that it is my fault, and the only option is stop the destructive behaviors, and focus on sobriety, even if I have caused permanent damage. I need to be an example to my daughter . . . .
Thanks for reading . . . .
I started drinking alcohol in 1986, as a teenager, largely to overcome my social awkwardness at teenage parties. In college I started binge drinking, and my drinking led to me being kicked out of school due to poor performance.
I eventually got my act together, and became a function alcoholic. I would still binge drink, but became disciplined enough to complete college, hold down a steady job, get married, have a kid, etc.
About severn years ago binge drinking became every day drinking . . . every evening as soon as my daughter went to sleep I would begin drinking, usually several glasses of white wine, and then several shots of vodka.
During this period I tried serval times unsuccessfully to quit. I could make it 1 - 3 days, nor problem, and sometimes 5 days. But I would always start drinking again.
What makes this even more problematic is that I developed several health problems due to my drinking. And even though I learned about these conditions, the consequence of my drinking failed to sink in. I have developed a hiatus hernia, gastritis, erosive esophagitis, and garrets esophagus, and yet I kept drinking.
The past few weeks I have felt terrible. I am in constant pain, and I think this has finally gotten my attention. I also started reading this forum, and reading the stories of others who have rationalized their drinking helped me realize that I was doing the same.
Anyway, thank you everyone who shared their stories on this forum. You have helped me understand the need to be honest about my behavior.
Of course I am really scared at the moment. I am scared that I have allowed these conditions to progress to a point where my life will be prematurely shortened.
That being said, I recognize that it is my fault, and the only option is stop the destructive behaviors, and focus on sobriety, even if I have caused permanent damage. I need to be an example to my daughter . . . .
Thanks for reading . . . .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 133
JRA - One thing for sure, your medical issues wont get better with continued drinking, so deciding to stop is the correct thing to do. Congrats on your decision that enough is enough. After you stop your body will adjust, and from my experience each day I feel better. Talk to your doctor to ensure all is basically ok, but don't beat yourself up about what you've done, look forward to today and tomorrow. Glad you are here!
to the posting side of things - good to have you here 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome. Many alcoholics have a fear of the unknown so your among people who understand you. Getting and staying sober can be the best part of you whole life for you and those close to you.
Self honesty about my drinking was something that clouded my vision about how things were going and constantly tripped me up. I was lucky when near the end I saw the "light" and got into AA as opposed to being around it.
BE WELL
Self honesty about my drinking was something that clouded my vision about how things were going and constantly tripped me up. I was lucky when near the end I saw the "light" and got into AA as opposed to being around it.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
IOA has a great point. We fear the unknown and drinking is sometimes the only thing we know. It's like being in an abusive relationship - we know it's killing us, but we have the insanity of loving it. I tried to stop on my own and was never successful. If you are a real alcoholic, you might need a plan of recovery to learn more about why you drink and what to do to stop it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Beirut
Posts: 26
it all starts with a personal decision....
Congrats that you decided enough is enough, it takes alot of courage to do what you're planing on doing.
But this alone wont do the job... it starts with a decision but it has to be followed by several steps, sharing at this site helps believe me it is for me! You should change your old habits,
Stopping isn't about one big change it's about several small changes, the way you eat, you sleep...
this is my 10th day and it feels great.
One more thing don't fall in a mental trap, thinking that you have health issues so why bother stopping. .. dont forget that our brains keeps playing tricks on us to return to its comfort zone 'addiction'
Think about your daughter and learn to love yourself !!
remember the worst crave last a maximum of 30 minutes when it strikes dont stay alone and share with someone! I call it the magic of sharing, it helps believe me...
But this alone wont do the job... it starts with a decision but it has to be followed by several steps, sharing at this site helps believe me it is for me! You should change your old habits,
Stopping isn't about one big change it's about several small changes, the way you eat, you sleep...
this is my 10th day and it feels great.
One more thing don't fall in a mental trap, thinking that you have health issues so why bother stopping. .. dont forget that our brains keeps playing tricks on us to return to its comfort zone 'addiction'
Think about your daughter and learn to love yourself !!
remember the worst crave last a maximum of 30 minutes when it strikes dont stay alone and share with someone! I call it the magic of sharing, it helps believe me...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 37
Thanks for the counsel . . . I am trying to not beat myself up, and to remain positive. I have an appointment with a GI doc in a few weeks. I'll be transparent with him about my drinking, and see how things go . . . .
I certainly feel better with five days of sobriety than I have felt in a long time . . . .
I certainly feel better with five days of sobriety than I have felt in a long time . . . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by jra55 
I have developed a hiatus hernia, gastritis, erosive esophagitis, and garrets esophagus, and yet I kept drinking.
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