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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Newport, RI
Posts: 1
We're new
Hello,
I just wanted to introduce ourselves. We are both drinkers. I guess if you want to put us in categories, I am a social drinker and my husband is a severe alcoholic. What's hard for us is that I mostly feel that I should be able to drink socially even though I know he cannot. We love each other and we know how alcohol does strain our relationship, but we are in this together, we both want and need to be sober. We need help. I would like to start a discussion on thoughts from anyone who wants to chime in.
I just wanted to introduce ourselves. We are both drinkers. I guess if you want to put us in categories, I am a social drinker and my husband is a severe alcoholic. What's hard for us is that I mostly feel that I should be able to drink socially even though I know he cannot. We love each other and we know how alcohol does strain our relationship, but we are in this together, we both want and need to be sober. We need help. I would like to start a discussion on thoughts from anyone who wants to chime in.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome, inittogether. I am an alcoholic. My fiancee is not. Since I had my last drink 4 months ago, she has basically quit drinking too. It has made my sobriety a lot easier to maintain when there is not the constant presence of alcohol around me. Good for you for abstaining along with your husband. I wish the best for both of you. You will find a lot of helpful and supportive people here. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Welcome! I, too, am the alcoholic and my husband still drinks. He is the "social" drinker and can handle alcohol a LOT differently than I can. In 18 years I think I have seen him "drunk" about 3 times....I had to quit for ME. I KNEW that I could not ask him to quit also. His drinking, though has slowed WAY down. He has also agreed not to keep any beer in the house (He is a beer drinker). We do not keep any alcohol in the house, but when we go out, he orders what he wants....as do I. It is great that you are doing this together...it makes it easier in a lot of ways....Best of luck to you both!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Medina, Ohio
Posts: 372
Welcome and thank you for sharing. It is good that you support your husband by abstaining. I think that you will find that once he has some long term sobriety, your social drinking won't bother him. I'm five years sober and my wife has her occasional wine cooler or Mike's hard lemonade in the fridge and it doesn't bother me. I would recommend that your husband attend an A.A. meeting, he may have a better chance at staying sober with other Alcoholics who have been there too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Nice to see so much mutual support! My partner stopped drinking to lose weight as part of her diet. She was just a very occasional social drinker and it wasn't s struggle for her, but it has helped me enormously that she isn't drinking her couple of ciders on a Friday and Saturday night while I have been in the process of quitting. It really does seem to make a difference simply having no alcohol around the place - out of sight and at least slightly more out of mind! So if your partner needs to stop, perhaps you should consider joining him at least for a while.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
The roles are reversed for me and my husband...check out my thread "Something is wrong this time around" on this newcomers to recovery section.
It can show you how things look from the other perspective.
It can show you how things look from the other perspective.
SeaScape
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: California
Posts: 313
Hi there Welcome to SR! I am in a similar situation. I am the one with an admitted problem but my husband still drinks. I have found alot of support here in figuring out what I need to do to help myself! Welcome Welcome!
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