One year today
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
One year today
Well, it's been 365 days since I had my last beer. Seems like just yesterday yet it's been a long journey. I use SR as my primary support, so as I've said many times before thank you to everyone who contributes, whether you post 100 times a day or once every 100 days. Everyone helps and all of your posts are meaningful to the forum.
I was thinking of what I would write today and i'm not really a very expressive or philosophical person, so I thought a list of the top 5 things I learned that I wish I would have known a year ago. So here goes!
1. It does get better: No matter how many times people say this, it's true. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my life is better than it was a year ago. My health, my outlook on life, my family, my job, my bank account, absolutely everything. There is not one single thing that picking up a beer would ever make better for me now that i have fully accepted my relationship with alcohol ( or lack thereof ).
2. The only person who cares if you are drinking or not is YOU. Unless you specifically hang out with other alcoholics at a bar ( which is not a great idea if you are trying to get sober! ), absolutely no one even gives the least bit of concern to your drinking. You don't need to make up excuses or stories about why you aren't drinking because nearly no one is going to ask, and if they do a simple "no thank you" is all you need to say.
3. There is MORE to do when you are sober than when you are drunk. This is a fact, and the more sober time you get under your belt, the more you realize that if you are an alcoholic, alcohol holds you back. It limits where you can go and the activities you can participate in.
4. "Everyone else drinks/Drinking is everywhere" is a lie we tell ourselves. We assume they do because we naturally want to be around people who drink when we are active alcoholics. But when you take off the blinders, you realize that most people might drink occasionally, but the vast majority of activities people take part in during their day do NOT involve drinking.
5. Sobriety is hard work, but it is more than worth it. I needed to make Major changes to get sober. I had to change daily routines of where I went, who I associated with, and i even had to pretty much break of all contact with some of my previous friends. But remember that you are making changes that are REPLACING old people/places/things with NEW ones that are better.
Hope everyone else is having a good day, and especially for the newcomers remember you CAN do this if you want to.
I was thinking of what I would write today and i'm not really a very expressive or philosophical person, so I thought a list of the top 5 things I learned that I wish I would have known a year ago. So here goes!
1. It does get better: No matter how many times people say this, it's true. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my life is better than it was a year ago. My health, my outlook on life, my family, my job, my bank account, absolutely everything. There is not one single thing that picking up a beer would ever make better for me now that i have fully accepted my relationship with alcohol ( or lack thereof ).
2. The only person who cares if you are drinking or not is YOU. Unless you specifically hang out with other alcoholics at a bar ( which is not a great idea if you are trying to get sober! ), absolutely no one even gives the least bit of concern to your drinking. You don't need to make up excuses or stories about why you aren't drinking because nearly no one is going to ask, and if they do a simple "no thank you" is all you need to say.
3. There is MORE to do when you are sober than when you are drunk. This is a fact, and the more sober time you get under your belt, the more you realize that if you are an alcoholic, alcohol holds you back. It limits where you can go and the activities you can participate in.
4. "Everyone else drinks/Drinking is everywhere" is a lie we tell ourselves. We assume they do because we naturally want to be around people who drink when we are active alcoholics. But when you take off the blinders, you realize that most people might drink occasionally, but the vast majority of activities people take part in during their day do NOT involve drinking.
5. Sobriety is hard work, but it is more than worth it. I needed to make Major changes to get sober. I had to change daily routines of where I went, who I associated with, and i even had to pretty much break of all contact with some of my previous friends. But remember that you are making changes that are REPLACING old people/places/things with NEW ones that are better.
Hope everyone else is having a good day, and especially for the newcomers remember you CAN do this if you want to.
xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
What an inspiring post Scott, thank you. And, as I am now approaching a year, I can affirm that those five things you list are absolutely true. AND I would have absolutely never believed a word of it when I was still drinking or when I first got sober. This is why places like SR, and people like you, are such an amazing blessing. Hope and trust are two powerful things that most alcoholics don't have but that sobriety holds out for us.
Congratulations, my friend. And thank you for being here.
Congratulations, my friend. And thank you for being here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Thank you Scott.... I appreciate it. Thank you for helping me stay sober today and for giving me yet more evidence that this is the path for me. I want to be posting a post like yours at the end of this year.
You share a sobriety birthday with a woman from my home group / early bird meeting this morning. She told a very moving story about her eldest daughter breaking down last night, sobbing and apologizing for how she'd been treating her in her recovery... telling her she loved her and how proud she was of her mother for her decision to get and stay sober and thanking her for it.
her story, and yours, are powerful tools for me and I appreciate you both and feel so happy for you, I'm welling up as I type this.
Keep it up!
You share a sobriety birthday with a woman from my home group / early bird meeting this morning. She told a very moving story about her eldest daughter breaking down last night, sobbing and apologizing for how she'd been treating her in her recovery... telling her she loved her and how proud she was of her mother for her decision to get and stay sober and thanking her for it.
her story, and yours, are powerful tools for me and I appreciate you both and feel so happy for you, I'm welling up as I type this.
Keep it up!
SeaScape
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: California
Posts: 313
Thank you for your post! I am very early in my journey and can't thank you (and everyone else) enough for all that is shared. 1, 2, and 5 really ring home for me. It's really hard to change your life and I think that's why we struggle so much. You are an inspiration to me! Congratulations and I look forward to hearing about your second year!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Scott congratulations!!! I have to say your posts ALWAYS stick out, you don't sugar coat and are always one of the first to post clear sound concise advise! You truly are an asset here and glad to have witnessed most of your first year! Thank you for ALL you do for SR!
What a wonderful day to celebrate your first year! Stone COLD sober
(its a record cold day state side)
What a wonderful day to celebrate your first year! Stone COLD sober
(its a record cold day state side)
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by ImperfectlyMe 
Scott congratulations!!! I have to say your posts ALWAYS stick out, you don't sugar coat and are always one of the first to post clear sound concise advise! You truly are an asset here and glad to have witnessed most of your first year! Thank you for ALL you do for SR!
What a wonderful day to celebrate your first year! Stone COLD sober (its a record cold day state side)
What a wonderful day to celebrate your first year! Stone COLD sober
(its a record cold day state side)To the poster that asked if you could hang my list on the fridge - if you feel it will help i'd be honored.
Thanks again all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
Scott: Congrats on One Year. I remember you from the Class of January 2013 (or maybe December 2012). It looks like you stuck it out. I obviously didn't. I made it roughly 3 months, and then casually got back into drinking until it was back to the norm - drinking constantly.
And here I am, the class of 2014. Your post gives me inspiration. I could've been here right next to you and that makes me determined. I want to have a one year post..January 1st, 2015
And here I am, the class of 2014. Your post gives me inspiration. I could've been here right next to you and that makes me determined. I want to have a one year post..January 1st, 2015
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by halfvictory
Scott: Congrats on One Year. I remember you from the Class of January 2013 (or maybe December 2012). It looks like you stuck it out. I obviously didn't. I made it roughly 3 months, and then casually got back into drinking until it was back to the norm - drinking constantly.
And here I am, the class of 2014. Your post gives me inspiration. I could've been here right next to you and that makes me determined. I want to have a one year post..January 1st, 2015
And here I am, the class of 2014. Your post gives me inspiration. I could've been here right next to you and that makes me determined. I want to have a one year post..January 1st, 2015
I was also part of the class of May 2012 and had a similar experience to you that time around, I tried to moderate after a few months and it obviously didn't work. I wish I could tell people what is different this time, but there is no magic bullet answer. I just decided that enough was enough and moved forward.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Scott, congratulations! I love your posts, especially this one. I am only at 100 days sober and I affirm everything that you wrote. I think the hardest part about sobriety for me, is now facing how long that I lied to myself and truly believed that my alcohol induced lies (life would be boring without alcohol, everybody drinks, my bloated stomach has nothing to do with alcohol, etc. etc.) were true. However, looking forward, never back and grateful for my new lease on life!
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